When I was 13 I had just moved to a new town all the way across the country. My first day of Junior High I saw her. The most beautiful girl in school. She was a vision, a beauty, a mystery. I had a crush on her from 7th to 9th grade. I had recurring dream during that time of us being in a bus crash and me being the hero that saved her and helped her afterwards. I thought that is what it would have taken to get her to admire me, to look up to me, to fall in love with me. That is what being a hero meant to me.
Small Hero
Fast forward many decades. Facebook is reconnecting everyone from back in the day. And who should eventually be on it but her. I friend her, she friends me, but she isn’t on very often and we don’t actually talk or connect until one day I posted something about me participating in a control study for the aviation industry. I had to stay for 20 hours in a hyperbaric chamber as part of a test.
She saw my post and wrote to me asking me if I could connect her with the director of the organization I did the study with because she was writing an article on that topic. And so I made the introduction and she got her interview. She was very appreciative.
Practice Heroism
That is what being a hero means to me now. And that means I have moved from the fantasy, extraordinary effort definition of heroism to the real life, helping people definition. That doesn’t mean the first definition doesn’t exist, it does and is extraordinary. But most of daily life is not in that realm. If we wait for the extraordinary event for us to exhibit effort on behalf of another then we have no heroic muscle memory. Heroism is made up of thousands of small acts of kindness and love. Those are the practice runs that allow you to complete the race when it arrives.
They sat attentive, leaning forward, interested in what one another had to say. The coffee shop buzzed with noise around them but they were not distracted. I sat in the corner and drew.
The woman facing me had a green sweatshirt on with the logo of ‘New Life Ranch’ on the front. I knew the place well. It was a summer camp in Oklahoma, near the Arkansas border, and my daughters had gone there a number of times. We even went there for family camp twice.
It was the place I took two of the best photographs of my life. Both were of the creek that ran through the camp, early on a fog enshrouded morning. One was just the creek, but the other was of my youngest daughter reaching for a rope swing so she could swing and drop into the creek. We had heard the night before that there would be a sunrise swim in the creek. Chelsea wanted to go so we got up very early and I accompanied her to meet the others. I remember sitting with her on this little bench waiting for everyone else, talking about how exciting it was going to be to jump in the cold creek. No one else showed up. We decided they were all wimps and she was the most courageous of them all. She still wanted to do it so I took photos as she took the plunge.
Unfortunately, so far I have not been able to find the shot of her. I am still looking!
If you watch a baseball game, like I did last night as the Kansas City Royals won the World Series over the New York Mets, there is usually a ‘hero’ that stands out. He may score the winning run or perhaps he strikes out the side. However, without exception, if you hear an interview with that person after the game is won, he will say it was a team effort. He may say, “Yes, I had my good stuff on the pitching mound today.” But it’s also likely they will say a lot more along the lines of, “I was just trying to contribute to the team.”
The Servant
That got me thinking, what is it they are really wanting to do? They are wanting to serve their team. Yes, they probably like the glory of exalted newspaper accounts and TV reporting. But it’s their teammates who are actually counting on them and it’s into that locker room full of teammates that he must go after the game. If a player is too consumed with surpassing personal records and getting personal glory instead of serving the greater good, they will not be liked or respected in that locker room.
Walks of Life
Combat – It’s often said that the soldiers immediate mindset is to serve and protect his or her fellow soldiers, not to fight for glory or some abstract cause.
Family – Mothers and fathers are not vying for an actual ‘Parent of the Year’ trophy. They simply serving their children as best they can.
Business – A superior, if he or she is good, is suppose to be serving you, not the other way around.
Community – Politicians and activists who are best at what they do are the ones who are working to serve the community.
Examples
What personal examples do you have of those who work to serve instead of surpass?
Some people are designated heroes just as one of a group of friends is deemed the designated driver at a party. The designated hero is labeled such and is expected to fulfill that role. It might be an Astronaut, the soldier, a politician, the athlete, a family member. It might be the survivor. Whoever he or she is, they are looked up to. The media tells stories about them. Books are written about them. Their deeds are exalted. They become icons and are enshrined. We all know about them.
Not Designated
But for every designated hero that is looked up to, there is somebody else looking at those looking at the person looking at the hero. The teacher who is pointing to the famous artist is himself being pointed at by her student. The beginning pilot who is pointing to the astronaut is herself being pointed at by a person with a model airplane in his hands. The young woman off in the wilds of Canada who is pointing at the world renowned inspirational speaker is herself being pointed at by the many who listen to her modest broadcasts. The small business owner pointing to the CEO of the major corporation is himself being pointed at by his inspired daughter.
You
Now, it could be that someone who is actually a world renowned hero is reading this. But the overwhelming probability is that you are not world renowned. You probably don’t see yourself as a hero. But you probably are. If you are a parent, you probably are. If you are a business owner, you probably are. If you are pursuing an athletic achievement at any level, you probably are. If you are a policeman, fireman, soldier, you definitely are.
The Point
So, what’s the point? It’s not to give you permission to brag about something. It’s to give you permission to know that you are seen. You see heroes and look up to them, and that is good. And you are seen as well and it’s important to keep that in mind as you reach for your own goals in life.
Periscope
Here is the periscope video of me creating the drawing while viewers try to guess the quote. You can find me on Periscope as @thenapkindad.
As many of you know, I work at Fleet Feet in Tulsa, Oklahoma as a running coach. I have led the 10k & 15k training program called Pathways for 5 years now. This past week Deena Kastor, the Olympic Bronze Medalist in the 2004 Athens Olympics came to visit.
Deena’s Napkin
On Friday night we had a small get together of coaches and staff to meet her in an intimate setting at our downtown workout facility, 52 Fitness. We hung out with Deena listening to her tell stories ranging from her adventures at the highest level of sport to her love of her dog, a giant Mastiff, that runs with her (for short distances of course).
At one point she was going to excuse herself to go get something to eat but I offered to get it for her (Yes, I am a brown noser, so sue me). I brought back 2 napkins and left them on the table along side her chips and dip. A few minutes later someone asked her to autograph a cartoon a fellow runner had drawn with her in it and it reminded me…duh, I should do that too! I grabbed one of the napkins and one of the markers she was using to sign her name and did a quick drawing of her. She then graciously signed the napkin for me.
Deena’s Quote
I told her that usually in my napkin drawings I have a quote but in this case I would probably just have some runners behind her. Later in the evening she addressed the entire group. She told the story of how she has a big chalkboard in her home, one of the first things her friends and family see when they come in the door. She loves quotes and often has one on the board for inspiration. The one currently on her board she said was, “If the voices in your head say you can’t paint, then by all means paint, and those voices will be silent.” The quote is by Vincent Van Gogh. I wrote it down immediately knowing I had the quote I would use.
I talked a bit later to some other runners about the quote and we agreed that one can replace ‘paint’ with almost any other word in that quote and it would still make sense and still resonate with people. So I simply changed ‘paint’ to ‘run’ and knew what I would do.
The next morning she was at our South Tulsa store to run with one of the 1/2 marathon pace groups. She hung around after and signed autographs on a pretty cool small poster of her.
I was able to snag a pic with her.
The Olympics
I knew she had won the Bronze medal at the 2004 Olympics. However, I did not know the story of how she did it until I watched this video. Take a look and be impressed by not just her guts and hard work, but the intelligent race strategy that she used to make it happen. Oh, and did I mention it was 100º at the start of the race? ONE HUNDRED DEGREES.
What was her strategy? Something I preach to my runners, discipline. She was as far back as 18th, running a conservative race, biding her time, waiting until she thought she could move up in pace without breaking down at the end. Slowly but surely she picked off one runner after another over the course of the last third of the race. Watch the video to see what she had to do to pass the 3rd place person and win the bronze medal.
In addition to the amazing Olympic finish she just recently smashed the women’s world record for a US Master (over 40) at the 2015 Chicago Marathon.
Act On It
So, if you think you can’t do something, do what the quote suggests. It doesn’t matter if it’s running, painting, spelunking or something else. Take action, start your move towards your goal and that voice saying you can’t will be silent.
