by Marty Coleman | Nov 30, 2010 | Death - 2001-2011, George Carlin |
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Yesterday I heard of a friend who is depressed and had suicidal thoughts. Luckily she had already reached out for help from a good friend and had found a place to go to talk. Her circumstances seem to be the catalyst in this case, as opposed to someone who is clinically depressed. But either way it’s crucial for those in contact with those people to listen and be aware of hints, words, behaviors, that seem to indicate thoughts of suicide.
When I have come in contact with someone contemplating suicide I have always returned to this: If you are alive, there is hope. If you are dead, there is not. It doesn’t matter if you THINK there is hope. It doesn’t matter if you THINK things will get better. All that matters is that you ACT as if there is hope and that things will get better. Be an actor, pretend your way through it.
I don’t mean to be trite. I don’t mean you shouldn’t get help, of course you should. And I don’t mean you don’t eventually want to get to the place where you actually have hope and believe things will get better. But for now, you obviously do not think that. I can’t make you think it. But actors don’t have to believe, they just have to act. And acting is what will keep you alive until the help and hope comes about.
I am not talking about the pretending all is well when it isn’t. I am not talking about living a lie, living in abuse, living in unbearable circumstances. I am talking about acting out a set of steps that will keep you alive.
First step, admit it to someone who you think has the best chance of helping you. If that person doesn’t step up, keep going, find another person. Don’t give up, don’t stop until that person has appeared.
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Quote by George Carlin, 1937-2008, American comedian and writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 29, 2010 | Mervyn Deitel |
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A snowman is a snowman,
Don’t be something you’re not.
Be the healthiest you,
whether fluffy or not.
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Drawing and poem by me.
Quote by Mervyn Deitel. And yes, he used the improper word, commonist, so I used it too.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 28, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
I got some markers in 1993. It allowed me a lot more color freedom and I went to town with them.
A Plaid Person Peering
You can see from the background landscape that they haven’t changed much over the decades. I always return to distant hills, ocean and receding paths.
Spotted Bust in Spotted Gallery
The horizontal calmness of that landscape is what I love. It juxtaposes nicely to the usually more emotionally or psychologically intense portraits in the foreground.
A Woman With Hand and Messenger
I lived in California most of my life, on the beach and amid rolling hills that would be green or golden depending on the season. I always come back to them.
See Through Woman
Unfinished Portrait
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 26, 2010 | Marty Coleman |
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In honor of America’s Black Friday shopping day.
Shop responsibly.
Don’t shop and drive.
Wear your seat belt when you shop.
Make sure your shopping cart tires are properly inflated.
A Twix bar is not proper fuel for a shopping trip.
Let other shoppers in from the entrance ramp.
Or just stay home and create something for a present instead.
Drawing and maxims by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 25, 2010 | Gratitude - 2010/2011, Marty Coleman |
It’s day #4 of Gratitude Week
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A Thanksgiving Poem
A Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, family and friends I haven’t met yet, in America and around the planet! I appreciate you all very much and love you even mucher!
Drawing and poem by me.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 24, 2010 | Frank A. Clark, Gratitude - 2010/2011 |
Thank goodness today is day #3 of Gratitude Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
I ran the Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa this past Sunday. I didn’t do well during most of the race. It wasn’t anything about training, nutrition, hydration, race day preparation or even my time (which was bad) that makes me say that.
It was my attitude. I started out with a mess up finding the people I was going to run with. It was crowded and I was alone, no running buddies. My legs were sluggish to start. My attitude wasn’t infused with thankfulness or love, it was infused with bother. I was bothered by walkers. I was bothered by gatorade spilling on my hands. I was bothered by music bands along the way. I was bothered by my inability to get my body in gear to keep at the pace I wanted.
Two things changed that. At mile 21 I finally met up with two of the runners I was going to run with. They were both stopped and in great pain. One had to keep walking, the other started running with me. She had injured her knee half-way through and was crying. We kept plugging along for the next 5 miles, running, walking, running as best we could. I was beat, she was even more beat. But she kept going with me. All my bother melted away and I was only thinking about getting us both over the finish line. And we made it together.
The other thing? A young man, 27 years old, had collapsed and died on the 1/2 marathon route. Need I say more? Nothing changes an attitude quicker than realizing the old adage ‘There but for the grace of God go I’. I have lived twice as long as he did. I have had marriages, children, love, travel, pleasure, pain, great friends and family. Many of these things are lost to him now and forever.
It was a sobering reminder that my attitude, as long as I am alive, should continually strive to be at, or move towards gratitude, thankfulness and love.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Frank A. Clark, 1911-1991, American Pastor and Aphorist
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 23, 2010 | Gratitude - 2010/2011, Samuel Johnson |
I am grateful today is day#2 of Gratitude Week at The NDD.
What makes a person gross? Do you see a connection between your understanding of that term and lack of gratitude? What does ‘great cultivation’ mean? Explain.
Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784, English author (and more!)
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 22, 2010 | Gratitude - 2010/2011 |
Day #1 of Gratitude Week at The Napkin Dad Daily
Thanksgiving week is a perfect time to be diligent about practicing ‘now and here’. Your relatives might be disruptive if they are coming to visit. You may not like their ‘fly by the seat of their pants’ way of planning a trip to your home. You might not like their indecisiveness, their politics, their nasty habits or nasty judgments.
But they are coming. And they will be at your house. Are you going to ruin your own week by focusing on what you don’t like about them or are you going to enjoy your week by accepting the characters and events as they occur, lessening the time spent wishing things were different and allowing yourself to find what the good in what is happening and be thankful for it?
It’s your choice, you know.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 21, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
In 1991 my two oldest daughters were taking ballet lessons. I would sometimes be the one to take them and wait. When I did I would sometimes draw those around me. On this day in 1991 I happened to capture two very interesting mothers while they watched and contemplated.
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| Ballet Mother Watching |
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| Ballet Mother Contemplating |
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 20, 2010 | Death - 2001-2011 |
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Drawn for my daughter and put in her lunch to be eaten at school. The lunch that is, not the napkin.
Ever notice how most everyone doesn’t want to die? Ever notice how a good portion of those same people are pissed off about some or all of their lives? Heraclitus noticed it over 2,600 years ago so it’s not a new phenomenon. I doubt it is going away throughout humanity. But I certainly think individuals can get rid of it in their lives if they so desire.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Heraclitus, 535 BCE – 475 BCE, Greek philosopher from Ephesus.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 19, 2010 | Dan Piraro |
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What are you starting today?
Continuing on my ‘not’ theme, what are you starting today that you are not? I don’t mean that you are not starting. I mean that which you are not. You are not a runner. You are not an artist, you are not a gardener, you are not a college graduate, you are not a good lover.
I went to see Dan Piraro of ‘Bizarro‘ fame speak last night. Great story teller and very funny! His cartoons have always been a favorite of mine. His style and warped sense of humor. But I didn’t know his life story and the one thing I took away from the event (besides an autographed book that cost me a ton of money) is that he is fearless in trying new things. He took up the guitar at age 50. He is now 52 and he had his guitar on stage with him, along with 2 other musicians. He performed 3 songs he wrote.
Did you hear that? He started LEARNING the guitar at age 50.
What are you starting today to become what you are not?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 18, 2010 | Henry Ford |
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As some of you know, I am a runner. I started a few years ago and am now about to run my second marathon.
I was not destined to be a runner. I was a swimmer growing up, we lived at the beach and I body surfed constantly, we had pools and I swam on a team when I was in elementary school. I wasn’t good but I could swim. Swimming was my thing.
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| This is the beach where I was raised. |
When I went away for my freshman year of college my roommate turned out to be a runner. A crazy, long distance runner. I didn’t have one iota of interest in running. I was not a runner. I couldn’t do that, even if I wanted to.
When I went to my next college (I went to many) I had a roommate who was a runner (and a cocaine fiend). I had not one iota of interest in running. I was not a runner. I couldn’t do that, even if I wanted to.
When I went to my next college I saw a lot of runners (the college was on the beach). I was not a runner. I couldn’t do that, even if I wanted to.
Then for the next 20 some odd years I continued to be not a runner.
Then I got a divorce and went to the gym. I lost weight, got fit. I saw people run on the track. I tried once or twice. But I was still not a runner.
Then I had an office mate at work who wanted to get some exercise, she was a runner. I joined her, for the first 100 yards. Then I walked. I was not a runner, after all. I ran a longer distance a few times, I got a little better. But I still wasn’t a runner.
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| My first running buddies, leaving me in the dust. |
Then my wife thought it would be fun for the family to join a running training group. It was starting very slow; run 1 minute, walk 3. I could do that since it wasn’t really running, just jogging a little bit. I knew I wouldn’t be able to run any distance, and I was right.
Then the training led to a race. A 3.1 mile race, a 5k. That is running. But since I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to, one of two things was no longer true. My belief about what I could do had changed, or…well, there was no second thing. My belief changed. I could run. I did run. I ran that race.
Then I trained some more and ran twice that distance. Then I ran 3 times that distance. Then I ran 4+ times that distance. Then I ran 8.4517 times that distance and I had run a marathon, 26.2 miles.
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| Some of my running buddies and myself. |
It took me 2 years. I am now a runner. I used to believe I couldn’t and I didn’t. Now I believe I can and I do. What changed? Believing I could do it.
Who do you believe you are? Who do you believe you are not? The not is what is holding you back, not the are. Untie that NOT.
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Drawing and photos by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Henry Ford, 1863-1947, American business man, inventor of the modern assembly line, founder of Ford Motor Company.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 17, 2010 | Richard Brautigan |
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I saw a report yesterday about the newly engaged British Prince William and his fiance, Kate. The reporter was talking about how eccentric the royal family was and how she would have to get used to their odd ways. Then they proceeded to list some of the hang ups they have. After they were done listing things I thought to myself, they certain don’t sound any more eccentric than most families. What family doesn’t have odd quirks to them. Big deal. I would hate to be in a family with no quirks, what a bore.
How many people do you know who DON’T have any hang ups about something? If you know someone, I bet you don’t know them really well, because if you did you would find that hang up they have.
Unless the hang ups are destructive or harmful, it is just a brain waster and hassle to judge them all the time. Celebrate that people are different and quit trying to hang someone for being different.
Quote by Richard Brautigan, 1935-1984, American writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 16, 2010 | Anonymous |
I think most people would say I am not this type but in truth I tend to be this person. I have a bad habit of waiting for something to happen, for someone to contact me. It’s not that I don’t put out effort to find opportunities, I do. It’s just that I tend to slide back into waiting once I put out that effort. I don’t always push it further. At times I am afraid of bugging people. Other times it’s fear of rejection. It’s also often the situation where I don’t know what next step to take; who to call, where to write, what to submit, etc.
What I do to combat that tendency is simple, it’s just to put it out there all over again. It’s in fits and starts, it comes and goes, I forget then I remember. But no matter how or when it happens, I get back up and put it out there again.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 15, 2010 | Aleksander Fredro, Stupidity - 2001-2011 |
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People believe stupid things. Why is that?
- People kill themselves so they can meet up with a UFO behind a comet.
- People send money to a Kenyan who has $50 million bucks to give them.
- People believe Hitler and the final solution will lead to a thousand year reign of peace.
- People think anti-aging creams really work.
- People believe the world will end in 2012.
- People believe that a tortilla with an image of a face on it has spiritual powers.
- People send money to religious leaders who will pray over a cloth swatch and send it to them.
What other stupid things do people believe, and why? Leave a comment!
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Aleksander Fredro, 1793-1876, Polish writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 14, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
The 1990 sketchbook isn’t as good as the one from 1989 for some reason, not sure why. But there are some interesting images.
Nude with Much to Contemplate
I had started to make a habit of drawing over some earlier odd or incomplete sketches with nudes from the drawing class I was teaching. I was doing it in part to teach them about finding value in your work. If you don’t like a piece, you can either destroy or improve it. Most people think they have to improve it by continuing in the same direction as they have been going. But another idea is to transform the first image by superimposing a completely different image on top and seeing what happens. That is what I did here.
Here are some others from that same sketchbook.
The Woman with Big Curl
Connie at Kaiser Hospital, Santa Clara, Ca
Woman Watching Spiritual Birds Watching a UFO
Drawings © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 13, 2010 | Uncategorized |
A vintage napkin from 2004 that went into my youngest daughter’s lunch during her final year of high school.
One thing I tried to teach my children as they grew older is to recognize what they desire and how that can create a belief within them. If, for example, you need to believe you will see a favorite grandparent in the afterlife, chances are you will believe in an afterlife. It doesn’t make your belief true or untrue. It just means your inclination to believe something comes, in part, from your desires and needs.
Another example could be your need for things to be fair. If you have been treated unfairly or had seen injustice as a child, you could easily have fairness as an overriding theme of your life. That desire could be part of the reason you believe in a God of justice, that vengeance will prevail against people who have been unfair to others. Once again, it may or may not be true that God is like that.
The point is to be aware of how this happens in your life and, in turn, be able to have understanding and compassion for others and what they believe.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Marcel Proust (full name Valentin Louis Georges Eugène Marcel Proust), 1871-1922, French writer
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 12, 2010 | Leonardo Da Vinci, Simplicity - 2009-2014 |
Yes, it is.
Drawing by me, quote by Mr. Da Vinci
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 11, 2010 | Anonymous |
Many thanks to Erin Patrick for her FBing of this quote this morning!
Who don’t you think you are? I can guarantee that you will have to change your mind about that if you are to become it. YOU MUST UNTIE THAT NOT.
Do you say, ‘I am not the fitness type’? If you want to be fit, you must first untie that not.
Do you want to be artistic? Then you can’t keep telling people that you aren’t. You have to decide that that can become part of your identity. You have to untie that not.
Are you not the happy type? Do you say ‘I am just not that type of person.’? Then you have lassoed yourself and are tied up tight. You can’t change until you untie that not.
How does one do that? By action. You want to be an artist? Then create art. Do you want to be a runner, then run. Do you want to be happy, then smile and love someone. Do what it takes to make those things happen.
And whatever you do, do NOT brag about what you are NOT!
My new clarion call: UNTIE THAT NOT™
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Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by anonymous, found via my friend Erin Patrick.
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 10, 2010 | Mike Barfield |
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We have a set from 1978. Don’t use it much. I dust it once in a while. Sometimes I will bring out a volume and read something, usually when I am dusting.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Mike Barfield
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 9, 2010 | Marty Coleman |
Good and bad, not to think about what others think about. Bad if your child wants to hold your hand and you are oblivious. Good if someone thinks your hair is too blue and you love your blue hair.
Good if you are a creative sort and your career, well-being, success, etc. is wrapped up in you being original in your creative production. You can’t be original in production if you aren’t original in your thoughts. Bad if you are aren’t paying any attention to the desires and intentions of your clients and so miss the boat in your creative endeavors again and again.
Good if you are focused on a goal you really want to achieve and you are able to ignore what the naysayers are thinking and saying about your efforts. Bad if wise and trusted people are trying to tell you truth and you are escaping reality and not facing the truth.
Whenever someone says to me ‘I don’t care what anybody thinks’ I usually come away with the impression they are fighting VERY hard to not care but in fact they do. Everyone does to some degree. What they really mean is ‘I don’t care what CERTAIN people think.’
Thus, a key to maturity, wisdom and peace is knowing the difference between those whom you do care what they think and those whom you do not. Find that out and admit it to yourself and you are on your way to being a true individual in the world.
Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 8, 2010 | Yiddish Proverbs |
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Aha Moment News:
Hello everyone! Just wanted to let you know the results of the Aha Moment project. I didn’t make it into the top 10 so my ad will not be running in 2011. Thank you all so much for your support and your votes. It was a lot of fun and a great opportunity to get The Napkin Dad Story out there. I appreciate you all!
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Imagine your thoughts could be seen. What would they look like in the mirror? Would they be as pretty or ugly or boring or exciting as you see your physical self? Would your thoughts be ‘presentable’ to others? Do you have to put a lot of ‘makeup’ on your thoughts before you go out of the house?
It’s so much easier to put on the right clothes and other stylings to look better than you would otherwise look. But our thoughts are really what carry us more than our looks so how do we go about making sure our thoughts are what we want them to be? It’s no different than with your looks. You can do one or more of these 3 things.
- You can put on ‘thought makeup’. Present a better version of your thoughts to the public. Nothing wrong with that, it’s what civilization is made of.
- You can look at your raw thoughts, just like your raw looks, and find the value and beauty in them instead of seeing the flaws, shortcomings and insufficiencies.
- You can train your thoughts, just as you can train your muscles of your body, to be better than they used to be – to be stronger, more resilient, less inclined to be injured or disabled.
It might give a whole new meaning to the idea of a ‘make over’!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote is a Yiddish proverb
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 7, 2010 | Sketchbook History Tour |
I like my 1989 sketchbook. There are a lot of these sorts of fine detailed portraits as well as my usual bizarre assortment of oddly populated cartoon images.
These are all done with a simple ball point pen. If you are ever tempted to draw in ink it’s a great way to go about it. You can get very faint lines or very heavy ones. You can layer easily. And best of all, you can always find a ball point pen wherever you are!
Judy Sugg, Santa Clara, California
Janet Arsenault, Santa Clara, California
Kristine Hayes, Santa Clara, California
Drawings © 2016 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 6, 2010 | Uncategorized |
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A vintage napkin drawn for my daughters and put in the school lunches. Drawn sometime in 1998 or 99 most likely.
Would you cuddle flowers or would flowers cuddle you?
Drawing by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 5, 2010 | Art, Oscar Wilde, Photography |
I should take a pic of day #5 of ‘Photography Week’ at The Napkin Dad Daily
In photography or any other medium an artist is the one who is not trying to copy. They have in their head a vision, an idea, a concept, an attitude that compels them to create something out of it all. Something that is not just a news record of a person or event or place.
If they don’t have anything in their head when they start the process they know how to find it. They find it by being curious and fearless, by going places not easily arrived at, looking at things not easily seen, asking questions not easily asked.
What they come up with may start with the scene or person in front of them but it goes well beyond that to include who they are as well.
Quote by Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900, Irish writer and raconteur
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