It’s the end of Laughter. Well, my series on it at least.
The Best
Recently an online acquaintance of mine, Deana Silk, moved 100 miles away to Oklahoma City from Tulsa. She is friends with a number of my friends, so her departure was well documented in social media with photos of going away parties and lunches that I saw in my various feeds. She has also been a well-known local newscaster here in Tulsa for 10+ years so there were on-air remembrances of her time at the station where she worked as well.
There were tears in the pictures and tears on the set. But what was more in abundance than the tears were the smiles and laughs. I mean BIG SMILES AND BIG LAUGHS. Not only does Deana have a great smile and laugh but everyone around her did as well. I didn’t need to be at the parties to see how much fun they all had together. And the on-air remembrances, while mentioning her professional capabilities (which are substantial), were more focused on the fun they all had together on the set and on location.
The Good and the Bad
Watching that move from afar made me think how much happier someone is when they depart with smiles and laughs than when they don’t. I moved across the country with my family in 1994 and the departure from San Jose, California was filled with happy laughs and great remembrances. But I also have been in a job where I had to be walked out the door (as is common in corporate offices) on the day I was let go. There was no joyous laughter, just a lonely walk out the door, cut off from a proper ending. That sucks when that happens and I have seen it happen way too many times.
The Worst
But there is an even worse scenario, and that is when you are leaving and no one cares, perhaps because there were very few smiles or laughs. That would suck even more. How do you avoid something like that? Well, the key is in Deana’s on-air remembrances. Her time on the job was filled with that joy and laughter. She engaged and had fun with her co-workers all through the years, even as she met her professional responsibilities. In other words, it was an accumulation of love, not just a moment of it.
The Best Again
Just for fun, here is a clip of the going away party for the CEO of Net-A-Porter. Take a look and think how much he was loved and how much laughter and joy had to been given and received over the years. Oh, and be glad you aren’t the man or woman who follows in his footsteps!
I once heard a sermon on cassette tape (yes, THAT long ago). One part of that sermon really stuck with me over the years. It was titled, ‘Finding God’s Will’. I was not expecting much. I figured it was going to be the cliche answer I had heard before. But it wasn’t. The answer was to be selfish. Say WHAT? Being selfish? Isn’t that the exact opposite of doing God’s will? Since then I have come to see that the answer is true.
Here’s the idea. God (if you believe in God, if not, then genetics, universe, earth mother, whatever you want) gave you a set of desires. Things you like, things you enjoy, things you want to do. The traditional idea of God’s will visualizes you denying all these things to go do something sacrificial and ‘important’.
Simplicity
But the truth is God (or whatever) didn’t give you your desires and interests just to force you to deny them. They were given to you to use. They are what drives you forward. As simple as it sounds, God’s will is to do whatever you want to do. All that needs to be asked is are you doing something immoral or unethical while pursuing this activity you love. And how do you know if you are or not? Easy enough – Are you inflicting pain or suffering on another, either directly or indirectly? If not, then it’s God’s will.
Behave Yourself!
What does this have to do with the drawing above? The world wants you to behave. It wants you to fit in and do what you are told. Those who have power over you can often want to mold you into who they want you to be. They want you to do what they want you to do not what you want to do. And they might easily tell you that who you want to be is not ok. It’s not good enough, or Godly enough, or important enough. It’s too out there, it’s too frivolous, it’s too degrading, it’s too embarrassing.
Courage
But they don’t get to decide that for you, you get to decide it. Of course you have to have the courage to stand up and say ‘This is what I want to do.’ and do it. Some never get that courage and lead lives others have designed for them, often under the illusion that they are doing God’s will.
What do you think of this idea?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900, Irish author and playwright
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Selfishness is not living your life as you wish. It’s asking others to live their life as you wish.
It’s not complicated – today is day #1 of Compliments Week at the NDD.
Complimenting Cleavage – An Embarrassing Story
This past weekend I went to an art gallery opening. My wife Linda was out of town so I was solo. The gallery was filled with well dressed, glamourous people. I saw a friend and we were talking about my napkins, which she said she loved getting every day. She is well known and so she was constantly seeing and greeting new people as they came by. I waited patiently for a respite to continue the conversation when I noticed a woman next to me also waiting to speak to this woman. She had on a very intricate lace top with little colored things woven in. Under it was a plain black camisole. She also had on an elegant necklace that went to mid-chest. Her hair framed the necklace and the lace top very nicely.
I noticed all this in a split second, turned to her and said, with a hand gesture, “I love your top!” Just as I said it realized, along with all those other things I just mentioned, that she had a very pronounced cleavage. Large breasts, low top. My choice of words suddenly didn’t seem the best. She looked at me like I had just said the most awkward thing I could have possibly said, and I had. I did my best to recover, doing another circle of my hand and saying, “It all works great; the lace, necklace, hair, very nice”. I then introduced myself, and we both turned our attention back to our mutual friend. I saw her on and off the rest of the night at that opening and a number of other ones on the same street. I had the distinct impression she was hopeful I would not come up and talk to her again.
The Complimenter
I am a complimenter. It can be interpreted as a come on, an insincere flattery, an over the top rambling, or any number of other things. But I don’t care because I know this truth; If I don’t say it, pretty soon I won’t think it. And if I don’t think it, I won’t notice it and if I don’t notice it the world will be incredibly dull, boring, grey, relentlessly serious, depressing, futile and ugly for me. I don’t want that and so I notice what I love in the world. I think about what I love in the world and I say what I love in the world. Sometimes it backfires and I am embarrassed but I would rather suffer that then live in a world where I can’t speak of the beauty I see.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who does indeed love beautiful eyebrows.
Quote by Oscar Wilde, who loved beauty
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Historical question of the day
Oscar Wilde was put on trial, convicted and sent to prison for what crime?
I don’t believe this, but have known a lot of people in my life, even been married to a few, who are chronically late and they would concur with this opinion! I tend to be on the punctual side.
What about you, are you chronically late or perhaps chronically punctual? Tell us about it, ok?
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Oscar Wilde
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Answer to the Trivia Question from 1/4/13
Who has the largest brain, humans or elephants?
While the elephant brain is physically bigger than a human’s, the human brain takes up a larger percentage of the mass and weight of the human body than the elephant brain does in an elephant. The human thus actually does have the biggest brain of all animals.
I was born to tell you – Today is day #4 of Naked vs Nude week at the NDD
I have a serious question, give your thoughts on it. Where and when did the emotion of shame come into the picture for humans and nudity? Why was it shame that Adam and Eve were said to have felt and not anger or fear or happiness or guilt or any of a million other feelings. Why was it shame?
I am positive it’s day #5 of Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD.
My friend Marcy (who I met via Blog World, read the story below to see the irony), wrote a recent blog post titled, ‘Asking the Universe to Dance’. In it she told the story of a young fellow who introduced himself to her at a conference but never asked her the important question of ‘Are you looking to hire?’ He had the opportunity but he didn’t take it. Her point was that you have to ASK if you want something. The Universe (and the person you are talking to) does not have ESP.
I wrote the following in response to her story and then found the napkin quote a few minutes later. Because this is Optimism/Pessimism week it all seemed to fit together.
Just in case people need more reasons to ‘just ask’…In 2010 I just happen to see a tweet scroll by from someone I followed but didn’t really know from Eve. She simply said something like ‘So, what do you want?’ I was about to respond with something witty and silly but instead I decided to investigate who she was. I went to her twitter page, then to her website and found out she was a life and career coach focusing on helping creative people. So, I responded on twitter with, ‘I want two hours of your time.’
She called me that afternoon and we spent 1/2 an hour talking about how she couldn’t give 2, but would give 1 hour in a phone consultation the next day after she had time to review my work, my blog and my website.
The next day we spent 1 1/2 hours on the phone going over where I was, what steps I could take to move forward. What was essential to be fixed immediately, what could put off. How to focus on what would return good results, how to let go of distracting elements, and more.
Her request when I asked what I could do to return the favor was that I donate time to help the homeless. She didn’t want a follow up, didn’t want me to feel obligated to her. She just wanted me to help the homeless somehow.
As a result of that conversation I submitted a proposal to Social Media Tulsa to be a speaker. At that session I was heard by two women, one hired me to be a speaker at an organization’s state conference and another, Becky McCray, has become my champion and encouraged me to submit a proposal to Blog World.
As a result of my speaking at the state conference I was hired to be the keynote at their regional conference this year. As a result of speaking at Blog World I have been invited to speak at the Blog World New York event which is co-located with BookExpo NY, where you can be sure I will be asking all about getting my book published!
Are you listening for the door or complaining of the noise?
Drawing by Marty Coleman, who took typing in High School
This week I am going to highlight some of my favorite quotists; the authors, aphorists, journalists and commentators who have contributed the most over the years to The Napkin Dad Daily.
First up, Oscar Wilde
An irish wit if ever there was one, Oscar Wilde lived in the 1800s and ruled the literary world for some time with writings such as ‘The Picture of Dorian Grey’ and ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’.
Unfortunately, the Victorian laws ruled over the land and when it was discovered he had committed ‘the sin that isn’t mentioned’ he was thrown in jail. When he got out he departed for France, never to return.
Nonetheless, he did not lose his wit. The story goes that on his death bed he still had enough left in him to give what has to be the wittiest final words in history, “Either those curtains go, or I do.” The curtains stayed and he went. A variation on the final words is sometimes quoted as, “My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has got to go.”
Oscar Wilde holds a dear place in my heart solely because my eldest daughter, Rebekah, loved reading him when she was a teenager. She would always be telling us various quotes and when I was drawing the napkins and putting them in their lunches (read that story here) my most frequent quotist was Mr. Wilde.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
I decided it is ‘Work Week’, so today is day #2 of it!
I don’t just mean your ‘work’ job. I mean the jobs in your life. Want to appreciate your job as a mother? Imagine your children gone. Want to appreciate your job as a communicator? Imagine all the communication methods you use gone. Want to appreciate your job as a friend? Imagine you don’t have any.
What jobs do you have in life that you overlook?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Oscar Wilde, the best source of pithy quotes in the universe!
