Be patient, it’s only day #2 of ‘Resolution’ week!
Just Missed!
You know what is so annoying? When you are just about to tell your spouse something they do really bugs you but they tell you something you do bugs them first and then you can’t tell them what bugs you because it will sound like you are deflecting and distracting and not willing to listen to what they are saying so you have to listen to them tell you this thing that bugs them and the whole time you are barely paying any attention and just itching to tell them what bugs you!
Too Much Time Together
My wife and I had our annual ‘we are spending way to much time together and starting to annoy each other’ holiday conversation last night. It actually went well and we had a good talk, no fighting, no argument, no big disagreement (except about the nutritional value of the ‘beige’ meals we have too often). But what we did do is talk about our daughters. I have 3, she has 1, all grown up now. What we see now that they are older is the ongoing importance of having patience with them growing up, learning how to be an adult.
Young Patience
Of course when they are young we know to have patience with them learning how to do something, like build something with blocks. We know that after we do the initial teaching the best thing we can do is to stand back and let them learn on their own. We can’t help them too much or else they really won’t learn as thoroughly as they need to. Most parent know that’s how it works.
Forever Patience
But when they grow up it’s even more important to be patient but much harder to do so. We want to spare them real pain and suffering and that translates into sparing them not real pain, but just the typical hands-on life action they need to become fully functioning adults. It might be them having to get the oil changed in their car or it might be them having to navigate the dating or job world. It might be them having to learn how to travel internationally or maybe it’s them figuring out how to rent an apartment. It’s not that we don’t help with any of it, but we can’t do it for them completely. If we do we are denying them the essential building blocks of adulthood, and that is doing them no favors at all.
Are you patient, either with yourself or others? Could you be better at it? What do you have to do…I mean practically, really, step-by-step do…to make patience a more balanced part of your life?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is pretty patient but not pretty.
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Answer to yesterday’s question of the day
Question: What do you think is the most often stated New Year’s resolution?
Answer: Spend more time with family and friends. I am not sure people say this that much right after Christmas though, do you? #2 is the one I thought would be #1. It’s to get fit.
I am over all a very patient person, I do have my momentswhere I lack. It happens mostly with ppl that don’t see logic in a situauion. Those that want to act and act quick with no for thought, reason or logic. I have always let my children learn and do things on their own. I fear that as they get older, and may lack logic in a situation I may want to jump in and save the day, but as adults it is pivotal for them to learn on their own.