The High School Reunion
I am going to my 40th High School Reunion this weekend in Darien, Connecticut. Most of us are past the age of trying to impress everyone with how much we have accomplished. It’s not like the 10th where we want to have already graduated from college and grad school. It’s not like the 20th where we want to show we have a family, a career, etc. It’s not like the 30th where we want to show we are aging well and have a nice home. It’s the 40th, when most of us aren’t still climbing a corporate ladder, we are just making sure we can climb any ladder. When we are likely fussing over grandkids, not kids. When we are as likely to be helping our adult kids deal with a divorce as getting a divorce ourselves. When we are wanting to give away things more than gather things.
The Friends
The number one thing I am expecting to hear over the weekend are these words, “You haven’t changed a bit!” Of course, it’s not going to be true. Then again it will be true. My best friend will still be a joking goofball, but also an open-minded, insightful and caring friend, as he was when I first met him at age 12. My 9th grade girlfriend will still be flirty and fun. She will also be confident, witty, soft-hearted and happy, just as she was when I met her at age 14. Many others will be who they were, only older. I expect some will have changed quite a bit. Someone who was a driven corporate type will have chucked it all to be a late blooming hippy chick. Another who was a nerd will have become a suave, debonaire man of the world.
Who We Are
But what I hope most of all is, no matter who a person was or who they became, that they wake up and go into the reunion content in knowing who they are now. Confident that who they are is ok. That we, all their companions of so long ago, would not be coming to this reunion if we didn’t want to know them for who they really are. We don’t need to hide, we don’t need to pretend to be someone we are not. We are among people who love us, who are looking forward to seeing us and hugging us and celebrating life-long friendships with us. No judgment, no whispering gossip, just kind and good thoughts for our friends. It might not have been who we were in High School, but it’s who we are now, and that’s what counts, right?
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Me circa 1973, Senior Year of High School
See, this proves I haven’t changed at all, uh huh!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Cormac McCarthy, 1933 – not dead yet, Pulitzer Prize winning American author
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If you missed one angle it is that those people were there when you made all of your primary (secondary and tertiary) mistakes, when you were the biggest jerk and the most naive. They don’t care because you were there when they made those same mistakes, when they were jerks and did dumb things. We all were. They have nothing to hide because all of the mistakes since then are pretty run of the mill compared to the awkwardness and tenderness of being a teenager. You have nothing to hide, they have nothing to hide. You still will like the same people you liked then and avoid those who you couldn’t stand. Yes, you will see subtle differences in attitude perhaps. Yours included. But, by and large you will be 18 again and those who surround you will be 18 and forever stuck in a wonderful place called High School. It doesn’t wear off. Thank goodness. It’s a bit magical because you don’t have to “explain” yourself. Your humor or your moods will be seen as “you” as you’ve always been. For the best of friends you will pick up the conversation like time has not passed. You will dance without fear of making a fool of yourself but for the sheer joy to be with them again, dancing together again. It’s a special group. Enjoy it.
Sis, As you have already gone through it, I have every reason to believe you are right. Should be an interesting time, no doubt. I am looking forward to it.