Day 3 of a ‘Heart’ series.
I had a couple of friends back in San Jose, California at the restaurant where I worked. They were a couple. The woman wanted the relationship to be more, while the man wasn’t able to decide what he wanted. They went out for many years. He was loyal to her, he was committed to her, he was happy with her. But he didn’t want to get married to her.
I remember sitting at the bar after a shift talking to him about it. His only reason was his fear of missing out on something. I asked what it was he might miss out on? Another woman? A career opportunity? Travel? He didn’t know. He just was worried about being boxed in and not doing what he wanted. What was it he wanted to do, I asked. He didn’t know, but he was afraid that when he did know he wouldn’t be able to do it.
On and off over the next few weeks I will be posting ‘heart‘ napkins. Look for them, be the first on your block to collect them all and show your friends!
It’s funny how some people hate getting praise or compliments. They don’t know what to do with them, or they don’t believe them, or they see too many flaws in themselves to be a peace with a compliment.
A vintage napkin from 2001, drawn for my daughters and put in their lunches.
I remember reading or hearing stories about the ‘good ol’ days’ when kids would get a candy treat or an orange for Christmas and it was the biggest deal in the world. A sweet dessert was something that happened very rarely and was akin to a special present.
I certainly don’t think that is now the case for most of in the US or most other developed countries. I wonder if just in general we lack joy and excitement in large part because we don’t have to wait for things. We get what we want pretty quickly, whether it’s a TV or a candy bar. We might be excited about something of course, but that uniqueness that comes from something being uncommon isn’t there nearly as much as it used to be.
I also wonder if some of our feelings of entitlement come from that abundance as well. The stores are stocked with candy. I want candy. I am in the store. I deserve the candy I will buy the candy. Candy costs a buck maybe, no big deal. But project that same entitlement to a TV or a Car and man, your debt balloons pretty darn fast!
Practicing the art of delayed gratification is not easy in a world of abundance.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Sweets grown common lose their dear delight.” – William Shakespeare
How many people do you know are stressed as they eat desserts? So, the key to peace, serenity and fulfillment is, by logical inference, eating desserts. Anyone care to argue with that?
Drawing and genius insight © Marty Coleman
Quote by lots of people, but I rewrote it my way so it’s by me now.
And it’s exercise as well!
Drawing © Marty Coleman
Quote by who knows
Day 2 of my series on Sweets.
A few pet peeve contradictory morbid confessions here:
#1. I always feel morbidly curious about the following phenomenon. Not the people on the airplane that crashes, but the poor guy in the car that was driving over the bridge that the airplane smashed into. Airline passengers accept a certain level of risk, even if they do everything they can to avoid thinking about it. But a person sitting at home watching ‘Wheel of Fortune’ does not expect an airplane to come crashing in the front room and kill him. I feel for that guy. What an unlucky break, right?
#2. The idea that we should actually treat each day as our last. That would be completely obnoxious if it happened every day. People crying, confessing, forgiving, wearing their ugliest outfits (or no outfits) etc. Nothing would ever get done! There would be a lot of dessert eaten though, of that I am sure. The contradictory part is that because I was once almost killed unexpectedly (blown up in a boat explosion) I actually make a point of saying things to people in the moment because I know that I might not get the chance to say it later. Mostly they are just simple compliments. But I don’t go crazy about it. I probably did more often when I drank, but my last drink was over 16 years ago so I don’t have that excuse anymore!
Back to the quote. Of course really following this admonition is silly, you aren’t going to die any happier if you ate a bite of cake last or a bite of mashed potatoes. But if you imagine this simple idea. One day it will be your last day. Likely it will be when you are old, maybe it will be in your sleep. But then again it could be by comet or by stray nuclear fission, who knows.
But here is a way to make sure you die happy, or as happy as you can die considering you would rather keep watching Wheel of Fortune. Instead of worrying about eating sweets before the end, just be sweet until the end.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.” – Ernestine Ulmer, 1925-not dead yet, American Writer
As I promised, a new series on a not quite as serious topic…..Sweets!
You know, supposedly the statistics say women prefer chocolate over sex…is it true?
Drawing © Marty Coleman
“Forget love – I’d rather fall in chocolate!” – Sandra J. Dykes
This is the 5th and final day of the feminism series. I hope you have enjoyed them and have passed them on if you were so inclined.
Who wrote this? Some radical, wild-eyed commie pinko feminist of the 20th century? No, it was Abigail Adams, wife of our 2nd President, John Adams. Obviously from the quote you can surmise she was not alone in this statement. The ‘We’ she is talking about were New England women, raised in a relatively traditional religious atmosphere.
But they were as smart and educated as their husbands. Maybe not in formal schooling, but they read the same books of the enlightenment. They read the same pamphlets. They saw the same spirit of liberty and equality rising up as their husbands saw.
But they knew that the liberty did not really extend to them. They knew lip service was given, but that is not liberty. They knew some men were inclined to agree with them, but that is not liberty.
Standing up for yourself and your cause is the act that forces those who are not voluntarily willing to give liberty to all to give it anyway. Adams didn’t see the day, nor did her daughter or granddaughter. Maybe her Great granddaughter did. But however long it took, you can see it now. Are you grateful for that? Are you aware of the blessing?
I am not talking to women here. I am talking to men and women. I am a man, but I have no interest in living in a world where half of the population, in many ways the smarter half, don’t have a voice, don’t have a vote and can’t contribute as they should be able.
Just don’t forget our history.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and we will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.” – Abigail Adams, 1744-1818, American mother, wife, writer, political adviser, revolutionary, activist
