by Marty Coleman | Jan 22, 2010 | Feminism - 2010, Henry Kissinger |
Day 4 in the feminism series.
This isn’t about cliche feminism, it’s about facing reality and oneself, no matter your gender. It’s about real feminism, the feminism of equality and differences co-existing in an atmosphere of forgiveness, understanding, admitting wrong, working sincerely for equality, examining self & society and taking responsibility for your part.
Those things are the signs of victory for both sides.
And enjoying each other, don’t forget that!
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy.” – Henry Kissinger, 1923-not dead yet, German born American Diplomat
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 21, 2010 | Feminism - 2010, Rebecca West |
Does that voting booth look a bit dated? It’s a voting booth style that saw American women for the first time, in 1920. That was 90 years ago.
It’s hard to believe that not only didn’t women have the right to vote only 90 years ago but guess what? It was preached from churches, preached in congress, preached in the marketplace, preached in the home, that women weren’t CAPABLE of voting intelligently. And, not only men thought that, some women thought that too and were against having their own right to vote. I am not joking.
Who changed the mind of America? Was it politicians? preachers? theologians? businessmen? No, it was feminists. It was women who fought for what was right. Who argued and protested and were arrested and condemned and shunned and labeled and destroyed in some cases.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that type of thinking is long gone. It isn’t, and it will creep back as long as people, men and women, don’t see it for what it is. Fathers, are you teaching your daughters to be strong and to know themselves, or are you teaching them to be a doormat? Mothers, are you teaching your daughters to respect themselves and to know their value, or are you teaching them to be prostitutes of one stripe or another?
Drawing and Commentary © Marty Coleman
“People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.” Dame Rebecca West, 1892-1983, English Author Read about her amazing life and career here.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 20, 2010 | Feminism - 2010, Florynce Kennedy |
Day 2 of my feminist series. That, of course, means these are feminine napkins.
In the US we seem to have made great progress (though not complete) towards equality in job opportunity among the sexes. I know it isn’t equal in all industries though and there are two reasons for this; men and women.
Yes, in most cases, it’s men in charge and men with the attitude that says women can’t do it. But there are also women in those industries who believe the same thing. They have bought into the idea that they can’t do the job.
For that to change, the mindsets of both men and women have to change. Women need the courage to fight for the jobs they want, men need to courage to overcome their outmoded prejudices and see that that the world will not fall apart just because changes come.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“There are very few jobs that require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.” – Florynce Kennedy, 1916-2000, American lawyer and activist. Read about her amazing life here.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 19, 2010 | Betty Friedan, Feminism - 2010 |
Day one of a week-long series on feminism and equality.
Disappearing does seems easy sometimes, seems like a relief because you don’t have to make decisions about what you want to do, who you want to be, how you want to act, what interests you.
But what seems like the easy way often turns into a very hard way and this is why. Because sooner or later you are going to find that you want your own identity and you will be playing catch up, or you will have lived your life and found it is too late and you have none. That will be a depressing moment.
So, no matter how strong or domineering the people or person are who you are connected to, you have no other successful option than to be strong and resolute in standing up for who you want to be. If that means you have to argue, then you argue. The option of just keeping quiet to avoid an argument will work for a while, but in the long run it will only succeed in building resentment from you and imbalance in the relationship.
Oh, and don’t blame the other person or people. They may make it difficult, true. But you, and only you, are responsible for creating yourself. Saying someone is in your way is a sterile statement. Either fight your way past the person or rid yourself of the person.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.” – Betty Friedan in ‘The Feminine Mystique’, published 1963
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 18, 2010 | William Shakespeare |
I love the grand gesture. I love the big proclamations of gratefulness, love. I love the big confessions and repentances, as seen on TV and sometimes in real life. I am a sucker for them.
But, sometimes those gestures can backfire. Sometimes they are overblown hyperbole; goals not attainable, transformations not sustainable. They come from the right place. They are the soul feeling guilty, the heart needing absolution and a gigantic conversion seems to be just the right thing.
I will no longer be the dog, the ass. I will BECOME the good man, the redeemed woman, the solid citizen, the consummate artist we say to ourselves as we cement our resolve to be better.
But the truth of life is that we backslide. The truth of life is that we return to who we didn’t want to be. We don’t completely return. We don’t not make progress. But we don’t usually stay up in the stratosphere of our epiphanies. What we really do is slowly become. We slowly transform. Yes, sometimes it’s faster than other times. But life transformation is not the montage with music score, it is a barely perceptible change in most cases.
It would be so much more fun if it were like in the movies, wouldn’t it? Maybe it would be. But now that I am older I am glad it isn’t. I like the slow change, the real change of becoming better where you don’t lose the good you already are.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“Striving to be better, oft we mar what’s well.” – William Shakespeare, 1564-1616, English playwright
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 15, 2010 | Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin |
I know this will get some cosmologists (and maybe cosmetologists if they happen to like stars a lot) upset. I don’t mean to diss the discovery of new things in outer space. I love hearing about them and I love the art of discovery in that realm.
But stars and galaxies don’t touch the senses the way a dish does. The smell, heat, taste, look, even the sound (in the cooking especially), all those things are at the heart of making one smile in that blissful sort of way that illustrates happiness so well.
My wife and daughter love to go out to dinner. When we do we often will order a very common appetizer that we see in restaurant after restaurant, spinach and artichoke dip. We do it because we love discovering the new recipe, to see and taste how it compares to our memories of past dips. It’s a shared sensual treat, a treat of the senses that makes us happy.
What dishes make you smile that smile?
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“The discovery of a new recipe does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.” Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, 1755-1826, French lawyer, politician and gastronome.
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 14, 2010 | Helen Rowland, Marriage - 2012/13 |
My first marriage lasted for 20 years, 1979-2000. While I thought things were ‘ok’ for most of that time, my wife did not. When the damn finally broke in year 18 and I started to see how she really felt, then, and only then, did I really start to understand her, her depth, her feelings, her reasons, her ‘issues’, etc. I think it was probably a mutual thing. I believe she started to see me and my ‘issues’ more realistically, compassionately and insightfully as well.
We went to marriage communication weekends, counseling, religious retreats and other things. We talked more and listened more than we had throughout our marriage. Obviously all that talking and listening did not cause us to turn around and stay together. But that is not a lesson that teaches ‘Don’t bother trying to understand’. It is a lesson that teaches ‘The effort to understand and really see the other person is of value in and of itself, no matter the outcome of the relationship’.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“When people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign the ‘don’t understand’ one another but a sign that, at last, they have begun to.” Helen Rowland, 1876-1950, English-American writer
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 13, 2010 | Jeremy Irons |
These are the questions you might answer as you get in your time machine.
Is what you see in the future, in your dreams, a recreation of your past? Decided by it? Is your past created anew by what happens in your present?
How do you remember? What if you re-remembered your past differently, then who would you be? Then what would your future look like?
Drawing and quote © Marty Coleman
“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they’re called memories. Some take us forward, they’re called dreams.” Jeremy Irons, 1948-not dead yet, British actor
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 12, 2010 | Ellen Degeneres |
What are your buns like? Mine are like Fettuccine Alfredo crossed with low grade steel, not to be used for highway construction, but maybe to hold up a merge sign.
Drawing and profound commentary © Marty Coleman
“I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.” – Ellen DeGeneres, 1958-not dead yet, American comedian
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 11, 2010 | Thomas Carlyle |
Is this true of a dictatorship I wonder?
Is it true of the people in a nation who have no voice, can’t or don’t vote due to personal or societal restraints?
What would be the symbol of your country?
Tell me here.
Drawing and commentary © Marty Coleman
“In the long run every government is the exact symbol of its people, with their wisdom and their unwisdom.” – Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881, Scottish writer
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