She was nervous singing in front of the congregation because she didn’t like her shape. Her hips were too small and her shoulders and chest were too big. Her knees were too knobby and her feet were too small. Her hands were too manly and her lips were too thin. She knew everyone was looking at her shape and judging it. She knew they thought she had a terrible shape and were laughing at her.
But she went out and sang anyway because she loved the song and thought it was such a good message about letting God shape you instead of being shaped by something or someone else. She had been liberated when she first realized she wasn’t a slave to culture or society or anything else. She could choose to be shaped by something greater than those things. It had transformed her life.
When she got off stage and the service was over she went to the furniture store to buy a new coffee table. She didn’t like the one she had because it was an odd shape. It was square and didn’t fit well in her living room. When she went in the furniture store a nice lady came up and asked her if she could help her find something. The lady had a very nice shape to her face, sort of heart shaped with a pointed chin and bee sting lips, which she always thought were the perfect shape for lips. She wished for years she had lips shaped like that and would have gotten lip injections to make hers that shape if she could afford it. She wondered if lips shaped like that were nice to kiss and thought if she was a man she would want to kiss lips like that. She bought a table that had a nice shape and was very happy.
When she was done at the furniture store she went to the gym to get in shape. She was out of shape since her family had got all bent out of shape about something or other, she forgot what. But now it was a new year and she was going to get in shape. When she got dressed into her workout clothes she noticed all the women who were in shape. They were in better shape than she was and it bummed her out. She wanted to be in shape like they were. She decided to do a weight lifting class because she heard it got you in shape really fast. It was very hard because she was so out of shape but she did it anyway. The women in the shower in the locker room after the workout were all in good shape. One of them who had been in the class with her said, ‘You did good today. Don’t worry you will be in great shape before you know it.’ That made her feel good and bad. Good because she was noticed, bad because she was noticed because she wasn’t in good shape.
As she drove home she came upon a car accident. It looked like the car had hit a guard rail, that was all crumpled and out of shape, and then a light pole that was also out of shape. She stopped her car and immediately called 911 and told them where she was and told the dispatcher the car was in really bad shape. She ran up to the car and saw someone in the front seat. It was the furniture lady and she was in bad shape. She was bleeding from a ragged shaped cut on her forehead, her lip was cut wide open and her arm was shaped funny, like it had been broken. She was able to pull the door open after three really strong pulls and got the furniture lady out and moved her off the road into the grass. She ran back to her car and grabbed her first aid kit from her trunk and found a perfectly shaped piece of gauze to cover her cut. She found another, smaller piece, that was just the right shape to cover her lip but still allow her to breathe. She laid her down in her lap and talked to her, telling her she was going to be ok and would be back in tip top shape in no time.
The ambulance came in just a few minutes and took over. The medical people got her in the best shape they could to transport her and then they were all gone. She went home and collapsed on her couch and fell asleep in an odd shape and woke up 10 hours later with a crick in her neck.
Well, this isn’t quite true. A herd can make a heck of a lot of noise. But the point is that the individual can’t be heard apart from the herd.
So, if you feel you have a voice that should be heard all by itself then you need to separate from the herd in one way or the other. Some people think what that means is you have to have a superior voice (or some other talent) But it really doesn’t really mean that.
You can have quite an average voice (look at so many rock stars if you have any doubt) but have unique things to say that make you stand out. You can work harder than others to develop that voice or you can be better at finding the audience that wants and needs to hear it. In other words, standing out is, more than anything else, a result of a decision that you want to.
That can come from a number of things, some good, some bad. Perhaps you want adulation and fame and drive yourself to achieve that. You could very well get those things if you drive hard enough. But then what? Was that ultimately satisfying? Most famous people I have read about and most famous people I know (local celebrities of one sort or another, not really FAMOUS people) have given me the impression that being famous isn’t all that great in and of itself.
What word do we so often see alongside fame? Fortune. And for some the drive to stand out is based on wanting not fame but fortune. It’s all about the money. I get that. Money, especially if you have don’t have enough, is a compelling reason to do whatever it takes to stand out so money comes in. It is true that in most areas of sports and entertainment fame is often a precursor to having more money. And obviously money isn’t a bad thing to have in and of itself.
But once again, my experience having been raised in a very wealthy community and then having very little money, there really is not a huge difference in well-being or happiness between the two. Yes the big CEO might be well-known around the world, but that doesn’t mean he or his family isn’t wracked by alcoholism or domestic abuse or some other terrible issue that he or she tries to keep hidden. It’s not the part of their ‘voice’ that they want to be known for.
In my thinking the better and more sustainable sort of desire to stand out is based on feeling you have something of value to give the world, something that the world can benefit from. Fame and/or fortune might come along with that, no doubt. Nothing wrong with either. But neither one is the number one goal, making a positive contribution to the world is.
If you are driven to have your voice, or your art, science, music, engineering, writing, dance, humor, insight, athletics, or any other area of human endeavor stand out because of that, then you can sustain it and enjoy it for your entire life. And who knows, maybe you will get your name in lights and make a few bucks as well!
I heard the quote while watching the TV show, Survivor this season. The person who spoke it was Noura, one of the finalists of season 39. I do not know if she is the originator of the quote.
Mary and Martha had some time to spare before Jesus and the boys came to visit later in the week so they decided to go to the spa and pamper themselves. They did mani-pedis, massage, hot yoga, a salt room and finally a facial.
The facial consisted of an oatmeal and Frankincense Oil mask that was a popular anti-wrinkle compound of the day followed by an olive oil facial massage.
Mary enjoyed the entire day, indulging and relaxing in the serene environment. Martha tried to enjoy it but was only partially successful. She was too worried about the arrival of their guests and all the work that had to be done beforehand.
She also was annoyed by the stupid halo that was always lighting up her sister’s head. Mary was always the one people liked and talked to. She was a flirt and a social butterfly and it drove Martha crazy. She didn’t contribute nearly as much to making meals, cleaning up, getting the place ready. All she did was talk talk talk and get attention.
Martha meanwhile did most of the work and was ignored. “How could that be fair?”, she thought to herself. If that happened when Jesus and the gang came to visit she was going to give them all a piece of her mind.
This is a continuation of my obsession with drawing using spirals that started when I read ‘All the light We Cannot See’. In it there is a young man who is so wounded emotionally and psychology by a terribly abusive beating that all he does all day long is draw spirals, which is seen as just the simplest, most minimal activity a person is capable of. I took it as a challenge to see what I could do just using spirals and it’s become an ongoing series for the past year or so.
I drew it while I was live streaming on Periscope and asked those watching what they thought the drawing was about. My thought as I drew it was that it was about the shapes, curvilinear vs rectilinear, that that was the juxtaposition between her and the world. But a friend in Turkey, Justine, said she saw it as a warm woman in a very cold world and that was a fresh look at it that I liked.
I’ve heard way too many Pastors speak about things they don’t understand. Whether it be science (especially cosmology and biology), sociology, psychology, art, or some other area.
How do I know they don’t understand these areas? Because they are ignoring the long development of these areas of art and science in favor of their interpretation of the Bible. The choose a specific interpretation that backs up their and their powerful congregational member’s uneducated opinion. And what is that opinion? The opinion is that things need to remain as the powerful congregants want it to remain. Why? Because those congregants give money that sustains both the church and the staff.
What it comes down to is intellectual curiosity and integrity over fear and accommodation. When a Pastor is willing to lead with intellectual integrity and is willing to stand up to powerful interests that are not acting in the best interest of the congregation’s true mission then I will be happy.
I did the black and white ink portion of this drawing in January of 2003 at Borders Bookstore in Tulsa, OK. We dated for a number of months in 2002/2003 and remained friends after.
I left it as a black and white ink drawing in my sketchbook for 16 years. This fall (2019) I was going through old sketchbooks and decided I would finally ink it up with some color. And this is the result.
Drawing is one of my favorite ways to keep memories from the past.
Her walk home that morning allowed for thoughts on what had just happened. She wanted to believe she was free but her behavior told her she was not. However, she also believed she could change and be free in the future.
I always thought there was a certain ethical and moral line that most politicians (of any party) would not cross in their pursuit of political power, money or fame. I really did assume that…until Trump came along.
But now I know better. Nothing in my 50+ years of following politics has astounded me quite as much as the Republican party’s acquiescence to the cult of Trump. And what can explain it? Competing bodies of evidence? No. The evidence is clear for all to see. It’s in broad daylight, spoken by the President himself and by his Chief of Staff. It’s in every single witness in both the Mueller Report and the Impeachment inquiry. It’s in the entire public history of Trump’s untruthful proclamations for the last 4 years, since he announced his run for office. Those who doubt this are living in denial.
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one explanation. The Republicans in power are fearful cowards. They fear losing elections, power, money, status. They fear tweets from an angry orange man. They know that if they stand up and say the truth, that Trump is a criminal and has taken impeachable actions, they will have people mad at them. That they will be ostracized from the club. They will lose speaking fees and appointments in the future. It will be like leaving the church they grew up in, excommunicated and shunned forever more.
And that is all true. It will take courage and it will have consequences. But that doesn’t matter. Their first and foremost obligation is to the country, period. If they lose an election, it’s still worth it. If they don’t get that plum lobbying job after congress, it’s still worth it. If they don’t get huge speaking fees or a gig on Fox News, it’s still worth it. And at every step along the way it will, more than anything else, be THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
Our country matters much more than a lucrative gig at Fox or a plaque on a wall at the state house.
There is a question that recurs again and again among us. Do people ever change? We state it that simply because it’s easily understood what it is about. It isn’t about if we change physically since we all know we do. It’s about whether our character and personality change. Will a high-energy, type A personality become a mellow, laid back slacker? Will an amoral criminal ever straighten up and become a fine, upstanding citizen? Will a cheater always remain a cheater?
As a person in the middle of his 7th decade I can tell you with absolute confidence from my personal experience that the answer is without reservation a resounding ‘YES…sorta, kinda, probably, possibly, maybe’.
I know, overwhelming in its decisiveness, right? Well, that’s the rub. I have changed dramatically in my understanding and my responses to all sorts of things. All I have to do is compare my relationship to my two wives. I was married to my first wife when I was 24. We divorced when I was 45. I married my second (and current) wife when I was 51. I am now 64.
I believe I am a much better husband to Linda than I was to Kathy. The reason is I changed. The experience of seeing Kathy so unhappy in our marriage and realizing how much of that was my fault changed me. As did the actual divorce and single life that followed.
When I married Linda I took my vows much more seriously. And by vows I don’t just mean sexual purity, I mean the whole idea of vowing to put her as #1 in my life. Part of this change was self-preservation. I didn’t ever want to behave so as to go through what I had gone through with Kathy again. But more of the change was my paying attention to what is right and wrong regardless of whether Linda or anyone else found out about it. I grew up a bit. I changed. I didn’t transform from a caterpillar to a butterfly, but I did become a better caterpillar. Not a perfect one, just better.
So, if you are wondering about this; whether you, or someone you know, can ever change. I say yes. That doesn’t mean it will happen, just that it can and does happen.
I run with a lot of people every week in my job as a training coordinator for Half and Full Marathon groups here in Tulsa. They are young, old, experienced, newbies, tall, short, fast, slow, and every type in between. I often see pictures of these men and women on their social media in situations much different than when they are running. It could be at work, a charity event, a football game, or maybe a night out. In these pictures they are dressed up and believe they are looking their best. They look beautiful (or handsome if you prefer that term for the men).
But they also look beautiful when they are running even though they are not dressed up and probably don’t think they look their best. Why is that? Because in truth the beauty in those photos and the beauty I see in person isn’t primarily about their looks. It’s about their exuberance. In both the photos and in person they are happy, energized, enthusiastic, and excited about what they are doing.
