This is an unexpected addition to my ‘Artists I Love’ series. I want to introduce you to a very special woman. Nina Levy contacted me a few months ago to express her appreciation for The Napkin Dad Daily blog. She explained that she also draws on napkins for her sons but she downplayed their value compared to mine. I went to look at her work and, of course, they were magnificent! Incredibly beautiful renditions of popular culture and personal images that are wonderful expressions of love for her children.
Screen capture from the New York Time blog article
I got a call from a reporter, Liz Robbins, at the New York Times this past week. She said she was doing an article about Nina and her napkin artwork and had been referred to me by Nina. Liz wanted a bit of background about me and my napkin drawings and I was included in the article towards the end as another example of someone working in Nina’s genre. What an exciting surprise to get the call and be included.
As is the case with me, Nina leads a double life. She is a napkin artist for her sons at night, but a world class sculptor and photographer during the day. I went out to investigate that side of her and found she isn’t just a kindred napkin soul with me but a kindred artist as well. Check out the video below to hear her talk about her 2011 exhibition and you will be amazed.
Still from a gallery discussion of her exhibition
Not knowing of any napkin connection, I had seen her work from a distance earlier in the 2000s and was mightily impressed. She is the type of artist I just love. Visually compelling, emotionally courageous and intellectually deep. She is an artist of the very highest caliber, one of the great portrait artists working today.
I heard a statement about Bullying this morning on NPR that makes perfect sense. It’s that a bully is a performer. And what does a performer need? A performer needs an audience. Take away the audience and the bully loses both her power and her incentive.
This allows the possibility for the change to be not just with the bullier and the bullied. It gives those who are bystanders and witnesses power too. Yes, they have the power to say something to the bullier, but that can backfire and cause the bully to turn her attention to the person protesting. But what if those with the bullier simply walk away. What if they decide to not witness it? What then? It allows the bystanders to have power in a way that will not hurt themselves but will still contribute to the bullying being reduced.
Whatever course the bystander takes, it takes courage. But that is important and good that they learn to exhibit courage since it is a character trait everyone badly needs as they enter into adult life.
Drawing by Marty Coleman who has been both in his life.
I didn’t know it when I started but this is an appropo week to be doing a series on Bullying. The documentary movie ‘Bully’ is coming out this week. It is meant to be seen by teens and in schools but the movie rating board gave it an R rating for language. The Weinstein Company, it’s distributor, decided to release it unrated instead. I hope it gets a wide audience, in spite of it being unrated. Here is a trailer for it.
I was having a hard time finding a quote about bullying this morning. There are many good ones but nothing hit me right today. I was browsing around when I finally decided I would click on the ubiquitous Britain’s Got Talent clip that shows a duo on stage. I knew they were singers but I had seen enough of those over the years to know that often times they underwhelm me so I still hadn’t clicked on it. But today I did. Take a look, it’s worth it.
THE CURE
I am not showing it because of the singing, which is indeed magnificent. I am showing it because it is a great example of the best cure for bullying. What is that cure? Love is that cure. Not the idea of love, but the action of love.
Jonathan, overweight all his life, is the object of bullying and teasing. His heart is broken and little pieces of him are taken away each time it happens. Then this one girl in his school sees him deeper than the others. She needs love to see deep. She needs courage to not do what her peers are doing, either neglecting Jonathan or deriding him. They become a duo and took the stage at this competition.
As can be expected (otherwise it wouldn’t be on YouTube) they exceeded expectations. But it’s what Jonathan said that really made the tears flow for me. Simon Cowell said he was great but Charlotte was not and that he would be better off going on in the competition alone. Jonathan replied saying, ‘we came as a duo, we will continue as a duo’. Charlotte’s inner beauty of love had it’s own return at that moment, Jonathan’s best way of showing love back to her.
That to me is the best cure for bullying because, in truth, we will never get rid of bullying. It will never be regulated out of humanity. But we can overcome it with love and that is what this is all about.
Bullieve it or not, it’s day #2 of Bully Week at the NDD
The quote is by Taylor Swift, the singer songwriter. She is young, blonde and cute. She is sometimes seen in the cliche filter those traits bring out, namely that she is weak and fragile. But she is not.
She has a secret weapon to fight back against the haters and the bullies. She uses her creativity and her voice to tell the story of the bully and put him or her on stage for all to see. The bully doesn’t like that.
It may be another week but it’s still the perfect day to continue my perfection series.
Do you know anyone who is perfect? See, proves my point. All perfect people are alone. And all who pretend to be perfect, they end up alone too. Maybe not physically alone, but emotionally and socially they quite likely will be. This will be especially true if they combine their perfection with judgment.
But wasn’t Jesus perfect? Personally I don’t think he was. I think he had imperfect reactions at times. For example, I think he was often annoyed and impatient with his followers (including his mother) instead of being understanding and patient. Realistically, I think he might have been grumpy and short with people if he was too hungry. He seems to have been harsh and a bit mean to whole groups of religious folks (the pharisees come to mind). He certainly was inconsiderate to his parents when he stayed behind in the temple when he should have been with them on the journey home. I think of Jesus as one who moved towards perfection much faster and with more courage than others (especially me) but I don’t think he was perfect.
Are you perfect? Or perhaps you just play a perfect person in real life? Either way you are probably much more alone than you wish to be. It’s not fun being #1 and alone. I bet you will find a lot of loving people ready to support and help you when you allow your honest, imperfect self to show through.
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Drawing, quote and commentary by Marty Coleman, who humbly submits that he has perfected the art of being imperfect.
It’s hard to improve on yesterday’s I know, but here is #3 of Perfectionist week.
I doubt many perfectionists would agree with this. But if you are a perfectionist and you believe in improvement how do you explain your constant belittling of yourself and your efforts while in the very act of improving? You know that you have to not be perfect in order to improve, otherwise you would already have achieved what you were attempting, right? If you believe in improvement in life, work, relationships, hobbies, creativity, art, and more then you should aspire to improve, not to be perfect.
What do you perfectionists think? Do you agree with the quote and with me or do you disagree?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is Wabi Sabi.
It’s a perfect day to give you #2 of my Perfectionist series.
Really? How you stand apart from others, how you are imperfect, brings joy? Sometimes it brings the bad kind of joy that isn’t really joy at all. It’s gossipy, mean-spirited, resentful, entertaining judgment disguised as joy. That is what much of today’s reality TV is based on. Real housewives, top models, bad restaurant and salon owners, locals who aren’t local to your locale, celebrities who wear something odd, anyone who can be seen as displaying what we would never do, wear, say, eat, play or believe. That is the ‘I will look at you, laugh at you and judge you so I can feel better about myself’ sort of joy. If that is what you indulge in, you are not only not doing yourself or your world any favors, you actually are doing damage to yourself and those around you.
So, can how you stand apart, how you are imperfect, bring legitimate joy? Yes, you can obviously bring joy when you are a good example in your imperfection. Maybe overcoming an obstacle, maybe fighting back from a setback. Or perhaps you are a going to only be a vehicle for joy by being a warning to others about how not to proceed in life; not a good example, but a bad example.
By the way, I allowed a few ‘imperfections’ to stay in the drawing, can you find them?
I happened upon a fantastic TED lecture this morning by Brene Brown. It addresses the idea of shame and vulnerability in a very compelling way. And it struck me that it really was addressing the issue of perfectionism and the fear of judgment as well. Find some time today to watch (or just listen to) this 20 minute presentation. It is well worth it and illuminates many ideas that are worth considering. Plus she is funny as all get out.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who is ashamed to admit many things.
Quote by Doug Larson, 1926 – not dead yet, American journalist
You know what would be perfect? If I did a series on Perfectionism.
First, a disclaimer. I am not a perfectionist nor do I play one on TV.
A regular reader and commenter on my blog, Agnes, said I should do a series on perfectionism. it was perfect timing for her to say so because I had just finished giving a presentation at the 2nd annual Social Media Tulsa Conference on ‘The Six Stop Signs on Creativity Road’ and one of the stop signs is about perfectionism. As I gave the presentation I wished I had more time to spend on that topic. Now I do.
Let’s start Perfectionism week out with 2 questions to set the stage and get our definitions out there.
What is your definition of perfect?
What, within humankind’s thought and creation, can be, or is, perfect?
I will give my answers in the comments after a while.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman, who thinks Oreos are perfect.
Quote by Winston Churchill, who liked a good cigar.
Here is another in my ongoing series of Writing Lessons. I think I will go to 10 and then the series will be complete. Any good lessons you can think of that I should consider for the final 2?
What does a man coming through a door with a gun do for a story?
It causes anticipation.If you are in doubt about the direction of your story it is likely due to you yourself having lost that anticipation of what is going to happen. So, gun or not, door or not, make something that will cause you feel anticipation about the future of the story and you can guarantee your readers will feel it too.
It causes mortal fear. If you are in doubt about issues you are really dealing with in your story add in the fear of death and it will clarify your thinking on your reasons for writing the story. It will also clarify the course of the story for the reader.
It causes anger. Someone is about to violate one of the prime tenets of civilization, respecting other people’s right to their life. What is causing this person to reach that point in life? Or what is causing the person to protect others from that threat?
It causes humor. Nothing is more absurd than seeing a man or woman out of their comfort zone. Put the gun in the hand of a pageant queen or a elitist intellectual who has never seen a gun before and it could get pretty funny.
It obviously doesn’t have to be a man with a gun. But when it doubt, think about what might reignite anticipation, fear, anger or humor in yourself and the reader and you will be well on your way to clarifying your doubting thoughts.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who last fired a gun while skeet shooting as a teenager.
