by Marty Coleman | Jan 9, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012, Thomas Fuller |
I was delayed a week by my exhibition opening, but we shall now continue with Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD!
Are you under a pessimism cloud?
You know those beautiful days in late fall and early spring when it feels warm and wonderful when you are in the sun but have a cloud come over and all the wintery chill lays over you like a blanket? That is how I feel when I am with certain people. Pessimists tend to be that cloud. Some are consciously trying to diminish joy or happiness, but most aren’t. Most are doing nothing more than what they would consider to be normal and even prudent things. They might be bringing up possible dangers for a course of action. They might be pointing out the negative characteristics of someone in order to warn you of them. In their mind, it is helpful to be a pessimist because bad things constantly happen and we should be prepared for it.
But the pessimist usually does not accomplish his or her goal of being safer or happier by being negative. Whatever their conscious intent and reasons, the effect is to suppress joy and enthusiasm. That is what they actually accomplish.
If you happen to be with one of those people, you will also suppress your joy and enthusiasm because those are feelings you naturally want to share and you are with someone who can’t or won’t contribute in the sharing. It’s like being a fun and joyous child who is with a stern parent constantly telling them no. It’s depressing and debilitating.
The way out, it seems to me, is easy enough in one situation. You have a somewhat casual friend who is this person and you make a pretty simple and easy decision to no longer be their friend. But most situations are not that easy. It might be a closer friend, one who relies on you and you are committed to over many years. It might be a boss or a co-worker you can’t get out from under without risking too much, or it might be a spouse/partner with whom you are hopelessly entangled financially, emotionally, materially and more.
In those harder cases you will only be able to retain your joy and enthusiasm for life by either getting above the cloud, being the brighter, hotter sun that evaporates it, or by finding ways to get out from under the cloud for moments at a time. Whether it is by delving into your creative spirit, moving out into the world and connecting to others in group activities, or by choosing a non-reactive response to the pessimism.
None of those are easy choices, but staying under the cloud is much harder for your soul and will eventually destroy it.
© 2025 by Marty Coleman, who has had 6 dogs in his life (Moses, Robbie, Vodka, Oreo, Gracie and Sadie.)
Quote by Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661, Chaplain Extraordinare to Charles II
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by Marty Coleman | Jan 3, 2012 | Optimism/Pessimism - 2012 |
And for our first series of 20twelve…it’s Day ONE of Optimism/Pessimism Week at the NDD.
I am old enough to know that many people with great ideas aren’t necessarily people with the wherewithal to turn those ideas into reality. Since I have no money to invest that has never made me a poor pessimist. But it has taught me that a great song and dance routine does not a success make. I don’t mind the song and dance, but I would want to know that the person has a track record, that I can verify, of following through on their plans.
Could they still fail? Of course. But it isn’t failure that bothers me (at least to the me with no money at stake). What bothers me is lack of effort, lack of focus, lack of follow through. I don’t like it in myself, and I don’t like it in others. I still love plenty of people with those issues, but I am not going to trust them with my money or, even more importantly, my emotional and time investment.
Have you invested in an optimist? Did it make you a pessimist? Tell us the story.
© 2025 by Marty Coleman, a man who can’t touch his left shoulder with the fingers on his left hand.
Quote by C. T. Jones, that’s all I know.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 29, 2011 | Quote Authors, Travel Napkins |
I am in San Antonio for the Alamo Bowl tonight between the Baylor Bears and University of Washington Huskies. Sic em’ Bears!
San Antonio is an AWESOME city, by the way.
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 23, 2011 | Christianity - 2011-2013, Christmas |
Hello to all my Napkin Kin! Here is my final Christmas Card of 2011 (well, it’s really a napkin but it plays a card on the internet)
The final words at the end of each All Souls Unitarian Church service in Tulsa is this, “Go then – be blessed and be a blessing.” I always love hearing that because it puts in 8 words what life is all about. We aren’t told to deny ourselves – it’s ok to allow yourself to be blessed, whether by God, universe or human, via a Christmas present or a cosmic blessing. But we are also told that it is not a one way street. We are to be a blessing as well. We don’t have to change the world, we just need to give the gift we can give. It might be our presence, it might be a new car or it might be a drum solo like the little drummer boy gave. Whatever it is, you are capable of blessing someone.
I hope both for you this Christmas and holiday season.
Blessings,
Marty Coleman, The Napkin Dad
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 22, 2011 | Christianity - 2011-2013, Christmas |
Here is a Christmas napkin from 2010 that I like enough to post again this year. Pretty simple – Act Christmas and it will be Christmas.
I will be mixing in some older napkins (with some new ones as well) over the next 2 weeks. This is because I am busy getting ready for an exhibition of my photo-collages at Living Arts of Tulsa. It opens January 6th at 6pm. The show is titled ‘Velveteen Women’and if you can make the opening I would love to see you there!
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 20, 2011 | Christianity - 2011-2013, Christmas, John Ortberg |
This is my 2011 Christmas card to you, my Napkin Kin.
And the most important thing; he liked them. He didn’t hang out with all those odd people trying to convert them, feeling sorry for them, or feeling an obligation to ‘minister’ to them. If he had, they wouldn’t have trusted him. Even back then a person can tell when someone has an agenda for the relationship. What I believe is that he liked who they were. He didn’t spend his time figuring out how to appear to care for them. He just cared for them.
And guess what? He let them care for him too. I mean, after all, is there a greater outcast in history than Jesus? They liked him even with all his wild ideas and uber-serious talk about God and heaven. They stuck by their friend even when he acted really strange and seemed self-destructive (which he was when you think about it). They forgave what they probably thought of as his arrogance (Really, you’re saying you are the Son of God? Really?).
My Christmas wish is that, if you are an outcast, you will be given the gift of feeling both loved and liked exactly as you are. If you are not, then my Christmas wish is that you will tear down the fearful wall of judgment and bring the outcast in.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, An outcast lover since 1973.
Quote by John Ortberg, American pastor
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 19, 2011 | Christianity - 2011-2013, Christmas, Secret Jesus - 2012 |
It’s day #1 of Christmas week at The Napkin Dad Daily!
When I first saw this quote I thought it said, “…if you CAN’T follow in his footsteps.” That fit in well with my feelings about Jesus as a man who taught vs Jesus as a mythic figure who was a God Man who did superhuman miracles. I like Jesus the man, I can follow in some of his footsteps no and then. I don’t have much in common with Jesus the God Man, I can’t follow in his footsteps.
But, the quote actually says, “…if you DON’T follow in his footsteps.” That implies it’s something you could do if you only chose to do it. And to wonder about that question in the first place you have to take Jesus walking on water literally. You have to believe he really did it and, in addition, that he wants you to do it too. That brings the idea to a whole new area of exploration.
So, here are my questions. Do you think that Jesus really did walk on water or no? If he did, then did he really want us to attempt that same thing? And if so, for what purpose? If he didn’t really walk on water, then what does the mythical story represent? What are we suppose to learn and enact from that story?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, being a bad example of a good man since 1976.
Quote by Anonymous. Actually, since it is anonymous I could have changed it to “can’t” and know one would have been the wiser! hmmm…
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 15, 2011 | Lying About The Truth - 2013 |
I believe being open minded is a good thing. I use to believe there was a reason behind being open minded. It was so you could find the truth. Once you found the truth, whether in science, religion, relationships, etc. then you didn’t need to have that part of your mind open any longer. You could close that door while continuing to be open minded in other areas. And I still believe there is some truth to that at times. I just no longer believe it is THE reason. It’s just one of many reasons.
Another great reason to be open minded is so you can experience joy and wonder. No other reason is necessary in that case. You don’t have to have a plan or a purpose or an agenda to exploit the joy and wonder into the future. You can just experience it.
What reasons do you have for being open minded? What have been the results for you, both good and bad?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, the most talented left-handed man he knows.
Quote by Gerry Spence, 1929-not dead yet, American attorney and writer
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by Marty Coleman | Dec 5, 2011 | Anonymous, Illustrated Short Stories |
The Story of Arm and Hand
Arm and Hand are at war with each other. Arm is lazy but Hand is not. But Arm find ways to stop the communication between Hand and her owner, Head. Head ends up thinking Hand is lazy too but it’s really just Arm’s message getting through, not Hand’s. Head feels like she can’t do anything since she can’t get Hand to do anything. Head needs help but Hand isn’t helping.
But one day Arm falls asleep and Hand gets a message through to Head saying, “I want to WORK, tell me what to do!” Head says, “OK! I want you to heal Mr. Sink.” And Hand goes and fixes Mr. Sink. Head then says, ” I want you to give Foot a massage” and hand does it.
Arm has woken up by this point but it is too late. Head and Hand have fixed the communications path and Arm must now obey whatever they decide to do. Arm is not happy about this but there is nothing she can do.
Head becomes very happy because she is able, for the first time, to see life through Hand. She likes the world she sees and lives happily ever after.
The End
Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily and Owner of MAKE Design and Photography Studio
Quote by Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Nov 23, 2011 | Anonymous, Gratitude - 2010/2011, Thanksgiving |
Some things I escaped, for which I am grateful.
- Losing an Eye – 1955/1965 – Numerous cuts around my eyes as a kid. My nickname in my family was ‘Stitch’.
- War/Combat – 1972/73 – Was just young enough to not be drafted during the Vietnam war.
- Injury – 1972 – Private plane landing. Tire went flat on landing, but not before we had slowed down considerably.
- Rape/Death – 1973 – Got in the car of a stranger during a severe rainstorm at LaGuardia Airport. Talked my way out of it successfully.
- Death – 1973 boat explosion – Severely burned but survived.
- Injury/Death – 1989 Loma Prieta/World Series Earthquake – Very close to the epicenter in Santa Cruz county.
- Injury/Death/Arrest – 1993 – driving while intoxicated – Stopped drinking in May of that year.
- Nasty Divorce – 2000 – First wife Kathy and I had an amicable divorce and remain good friends and supporters.
What have you escaped for which you are grateful?
Drawing and List by Marty Coleman, Publisher of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Anonymous
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