I don’t read fiction very often. I usually am reading non-fiction biographies, histories and science books. I recently wrote my first fictional short story, Sunday in Sunrise, and while it had some elements of myself and my family in it, the story was a fabrication, a fiction. Writing it and reading it revealed things about my life that are obscured at times. Mostly it reinvigorated my sense of being positive, loving, enthusiastic and trusting in my life. It showed me aspects of myself that I have been, want to be and sometimes let slide.
Sometimes, when you are in a parched landscape, a story, whether you write it or read it, can help you see what can be there.What does reading or writing fiction do for you?
How often have you finished reading a book and felt like a new home was suddenly taken away from you. It is sad but it is also a wonderful feeling to know that home is there waiting for you if you pick that book up again. New homes are also waiting to be discovered in new books yet read.
Merci to the Napkin Kin in the towns of Quimper, Toulouse, Clermont-Ferrand and Lusignan in France. You have been coming regularly and I appreciate it!
These black and white film portraits were taken in the late 80s and early 90s in and around San Jose, California.
Bob, Eulipia Restaurant, 1990s
He was an aspiring actor and a restauranteur. I took this photo for his actor head shot portfolio in the restaurant he co-owned.
Leslie, San Jose, California, 1990s
I met her through a mutual friend. She wanted some glamorous images of herself before she hit her 30th birthday. I was upstairs in her home changing lens while she went downstairs to get ready for the next set. I happen to see the last bit of sunlight come through a high window and fall on her couch. I quickly directed her to jump on the couch as is and get her face into the light. This is the result less than a minute before the sun sliver disappeared.
Sharon and Carol, Santa Clara County, 1990s
The woman on the left was a customer of mine when I waited tables. We became friends and eventually she hired me to do some family portraits of her and her sister. They were a bit competitive for the spotlight and it was fun to compose and direct them so they both could shine.
Ruth, Santa Cruz, California, 1990s
There is a fantastic beach north of Santa Cruz, California with caves, cliffs and sand in myriad textures and forms. This friend wanted to take some natural portraits in a beautiful light environment and this is the place we chose.
Julie, San Jose, California, 1990s
Sometimes simple and easy does the trick. We were behind a friend’s apartment trying to figure out some photo locations when I spotted her just sitting and waiting for something to happen. It was the best shot of the day.
Lauri, San Jose, California, 1990s
Symmetry can often be pretty boring but in this case the little bit of translucence to the outdoor wall gave enough difference between the sides to make a strong dynamic interplay with her pose.
This is getting to be a habit seeing as it’s Day #4 of Bad Habit Week at the NDD.
My first wife was bothered by my fingers. Not in all circumstances, but when we would be sitting doing something I would have a habit of fidgeting with them I guess, and it bugged the hell out of her. That bad habit magically disappeared when we divorced and she moved out of the house.
What bad habit do you have, or your spouse/family member/roommate have that makes you or them crazy? Was anything every done about it? Make it a habit to leave a comment about habits, ok?
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you cannot fulfill your habit for an extended period of time? Maybe you went backpacking and couldn’t smoke during the trek. Maybe the power went out and you couldn’t watch TV. Maybe you became unemployed and could no longer shop like you used to.
Sometimes the best thing that can happen to you is an accident of circumstances. Without you planning it you are forced to do without. What is your reaction when this happens? It might make you fidget and pace. It might make you easily irritated. But after a while that habit has less of a hold on you than you realized. You can take that hike without a cigarette. You can live without new shoes every week. You can survive without your favorite reality TV show.
So be open to trying something new, be open to adventure, not for it’s own sake, but for what it forces you to do without. And maybe in the process you will discover that you don’t need that habit after all.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Leo Aikman, 1908-1978, American journalist and speaker
Napkin Dad Trivia – I was blown up in a boat explosion and burned on 70% of my body when I was 18 years old. I spent 7 weeks in the ICU Burn Unit at Kings County Hospital, Brooklyn NY. I consider it one of the most important and positive events of my life. I have awesome scars, you should see them!
The only way I can cope is to present day #2 of Bad Habit week!
Have you ever looked at your habits and thought about when they developed? A good many of them probably started when you were quite young. Why did they develop? One possibility is that they developed to help you cope with something in your life.
Maybe it was your parents’ alcoholism, as in my case. Maybe it was domestic abuse, or being left alone a lot. Perhaps it was an over-controlling or hypercritical parent. As a result you might have made a habit of escape, or defensiveness, or pretending. And maybe those habits served you well, maybe they really did help you cope.
But what about now? Do you still need that habit to cope? Do you still have that parent around you? Are you still bullied at school or under pressure from someone? Or is it now just a habit without a purpose?
If that is the case, maybe you don’t need it any more.
What are the habits you would like to do away with?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily Quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, German writer
Napkin Dad trivia – I mentioned above about my parents’ alcoholism. My mother spent 3 months at an alcoholic rehab hospital in 1973. She was sober from then on until her death in 1988. My father also quit drinking around the same time (though he sometimes would fall back into it a bit, but never with the same fervor) and is still sober at age 93. I quite drinking in 1993.
This could easily be called addiction week as well, but I wanted to use the word habit because it applies in more cases. Not everyone is an addict, but everyone has habits. Some can be quite debilitating and destructive so whether we call it an addiction or a habit, it still is a subject that everyone deals with at some level.
The problem with habits is that often times we don’t realize we have them until we get in a relationship. When that happens the other person is close enough often enough to see the habit in action, we can’t hide it. But if we are lucky they are also close enough to say something about it to us. It might be something as simple as leaving the top off the medicine bottle. It might be something as severe as continually hurting someone’s feelings with a facial expression and verbal response.
Even if we are lucky enough to have someone who will point out our bad habits, we still have to decide in our own brain to do something about it. And one thing is for certain, you won’t change a habit by continuing to do the habit. You must adjust. It might be a complete different direction, it might be a slight course change, but whatever it is, you have to decide to do it.
The key is to not be overwhelmed by the task. You don’t have to change your life goal by redefining a new destination, you just have to change take one small step in a new direction. It might be a decision to buy healthier food today at the grocery store. It’s not a decision to ALWAYS and FOREVER ONLY buy healthy food. It’s just a small decision today to buy healthier food. Do that one thing and you have changed your direction and that is enough. Worry about the next trip to the store when you take it, not today.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad DailyQuote is a Chinese proverb
Napkin Dad Trivia – I learned to fly airplanes when I was 13 years old.
I took a LOT of slides back in the 80s. My then father-in-law was a big slide film fan and I became one as a result. I recently decided to experiment with scanning these old slides on my flat bed scanner. The results are evocative and mysterious.
Since it’s such a hot summer I thought I would post a selection of summer photos from that era.
Diver, Almaden Swim and Racquet Club, San Jose, California, 1980sSwimmer, Almaden Swim and Racquet Club, San Jose, California, 1980sDigging, Santa Cruz, California, 1980sFlip, Almaden Swim and Racquet Club, San Jose, California, 1980sSunbather, San Jose, California, 1980s
