My daughter Caitlin has been reading and watching the Harry Potter books since she was 10 years old. It’s now coming to an end and she is very nostalgic about it all. We are watching ALL the movies, one a night, for 7 days. THEN we will go see the last movie.
I heard a great quote spoken by Headmaster Albus Dumbledore in the second movie, ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’. When I came to draw the image to go along with the quote the obvious example that came to mind was the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
The story is thus: Jesus is being asked how someone can attain eternal life. His response is to ask what is written in the law and how does the questioner reads it.
The questioner gives the answer, “Love your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself” to which Jesus agrees.
The questioner is being a bit defensive at this point and asks, “But who is my neighbor?”
In response Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan.
A man is beaten, robbed and left for dead on the road to Jericho. A priest sees the stricken man, moves to the other side of the road and walks on by. A Levite (one of the 12 tribes of Israel, the tribe from which priests are chosen) also walks by, sees the man, moves to the other side of the road and walks on by. Finally a Samaritan (an ethnic group that did not get along well at all with the Jews of the era) walks by, sees the man, goes over to him and helps him with his injuries. He then takes him to an inn and stays with him overnight. The next morning he gives the innkeeper money enough for 2 more nights. He asks the innkeeper to take good care of him until he returns, at which point he will pay whatever extra expenses have accrued.
Jesus then asks the questioner, “Who among the three travelers was the neighbor?”
The questioner answers, “The one who showed mercy on him.”
Jesus answers, “Go and do the same.”
Dumbledore is teaching the same lesson. What you choose to do is more important than whatever talent or prestige you may have. Many have immense talent and ability but waste it doing stupid, evil, wasteful things. Many who have minimal talent use what they have for good. That is what matters, what you do with what you have.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by J. K. Rowling, 1965-not dead yet, British author
I have set aside several Sundays to show you some of my photography. I used film until 2005 so any images predating then you can assume are film images, any after that will be digital.
Woman With Oval, 1980
In 1980 I started graduate school at Cranbrook Academy of Art in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. There was a young woman manning the gift shop at the museum and she allowed me to do a series of portraits of her. The best of the bunch were the oval series with the ceiling light alcove being the only other thing in the image.
Woman in Snow and Mist, 1981
My wife at the time had a job at a restaurant in the nearby town. A fellow waitress was hoping to do some modeling so we took some time to do some portfolio shots. We also did some shots on a very gray, foggy day that were mysterious and moody. These were my favorite shots from that year.
Woman and Triangle, 1980
I got a work-study job in the Cranbrook Museum, helping to install exhibitions. One of them was a conceptual art exhibition that took up all the galleries. One of the rooms was a series of geometric wall drawings in pastel by Sol LeWitt. We did the actual drawings with specific instructions from LeWitt as to how they should be realized. When I had some time off from the project I brought in a fellow student and took some photos of her with the walls being prepped as a background.
It’s time to toll the bell. It’s the final day of Public Speaking Week at the NDD.
I come from a family who has the Irish gift of gab and I don’t think any of us would say fear of public speaking is big on our list of phobias. I wouldn’t rather be dead, that’s for sure. I do get plenty nervous though. Usually that is much earlier in the week leading up to the speaking engagement when my presentation hasn’t yet come together. It’s just a hodge podge of images and ideas searching for a hook to hang themselves on. Until I figure out the hook I am very nervous.
It really isn’t a fear of speaking in public. It’s a fear that I won’t be ready, that I won’t have done my job to inform, entertain or enlighten my audience. But once I do find that hook I start to organize the presentation and can start to practice it. Then the nervousness dissipates and confidence that I can do it builds.
My first practices usually are before I am done, maybe just the first third. But the act of practicing it is often the activity that helps me discover the unifying series of words (the hooks) that will make the ideas and images have some logic and purpose behind them. It all starts to lead somewhere in other words.
A couple of days before the presentation I usually am starting to practice the whole thing, timing it and making changes in imagery and flow to make sure what I am saying is as clear as I can make it within the time allotted. In my last presentation I was practicing in my car in the parking garage an hour before I was due to be on stage. That last run-through made a big difference in my confidence.
Do you suffer from fear of public speaking? If you do, what do you do to overcome it?
I am writing it down: it’s day 4 of ‘Public Speaking’ week at the NDD
And so you say to yourself, “Wait a second, this is a writing lesson, not a speaking lesson!” And you are right. BUT, where do you think speeches start? They all start by being written. The only difference is the delivery, will your audience read it or listen to you speak it?The key in writing, no matter the delivery, is edit, edit, edit.I used to develop, design and write a large website for a medical college. I had to spend a lot of time with doctors who wanted to put up information about their department, research, etc. My main effort was always in first convincing them that their audience on the website was not primarily an academic audience but a general information audience. Then, after they edited down their material based on my instructions, I took that same material and winnowed it down much further with my own edits.
It had to fit the audience expectations, and the expectations for the web reader was to be able to get quick, easily seen and understood information. We always gave them access to more detailed, scholarly information if they wanted it, but the vast majority didn’t.
Who is your audience? It’s important to consider whether writing a query letter to an agent, a thank you note, a novel or a speech. Write for them and leave out the parts they will want to skip.
I am at the edge of ‘Public Speaking Week’ at the NDD!
Speakers have authority. People tend to believe anyone up on a pedestal, altar, dias, podium or stage. Anyone with a microphone, basically. My keynote speech last week was on ‘Change’. I started the presentation with a series of slides explaining my eminent qualifications as an expert in change. They included a photo of when I was younger and when I was older. Photos of when I had hair, and now that I don’t. Photos of me before I had kids, and now that I do.
It was meant to be humorous and it was followed by the statement that if those things made me an expert, then all of my audience were also experts in change. I then proceeded to give some examples from my personal experiences of change and what I learned from them.
The truth is, the reason I was qualified to talk about change isn’t because I have a degree in it. And it’s not even because I have lived it. It’s because I have thought about it. In the end, the experts are those who study. Those who do the research; who examine, investigate, dig, ask questions, evaluate, ponder and ultimately are able to come up with some conclusions.
They aren’t conclusions set in stone, they are conclusions so far in the journey of discovery. That is what we should always remember about listening to authority, i.e. anyone with a microphone and a stage of some sort. They may be persuasive and compelling, but in the end, YOU have to decide whether you believe them. You have to look out in front of you for that cliff because after all, the person talking is looking back at you, not at the path in front.
I am dealing it during Public Speaking Week at the Napkin Dad Daily.
I am a sucker for great speeches. Political speeches, award acceptance speeches, intellectual idea speeches, even sermons. I can get inspired, choked up, motivated, curious, angry, happy and more. All because of a bunch of words strung together. It’s hard not to be persuaded by words sometimes, even when you know you are being manipulated, as in commercials.
What types of words, speeches, writings, etc. do you get influenced by easily? Is there one particular person or group? One particular style of speaking that addicts you?
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
Quote by Rudyard Kipling, 1865-1935, English writer
I gave a Napkin Dad presentation this past weekend to the Oklahoma 4H Parent Volunteer Conference. It took place at the OSU Alumni center in Stillwater, OK. The topic was ‘Coping with Change Within and Without’.
I spent many hours getting the presentation ready. I first threw in all sorts of napkin drawings and ideas that I felt applied. While I did this my ideas were all over the map. It was disconcerting. I don’t like that feeling of not having the message together, knowing it just doesn’t make sense yet. I was nervous, would I be able to find a cogent message?
At that point I hadn’t really found the major points to hang the presentation on. I was like a gold miner looking all over the mountain, with just a few clues as to where the gold might be. I eventually stumbled upon a set of compelling ideas. That made me worried, could I make the ideas make sense together?
Once I did that, the task became even harder. It was editing and arranging time. What drawings and quotes went with the ideas. Which ones would be visually interesting? Which ones would confuse and distract the audience? Did I need more drawings or less? That made me anxious, would I be able to fit my presentation to the time allotted?
Finally I started practicing the presentation, even though it was only the first half I had together. Giving the speech to myself helped me understand what was working because I found myself completely stopped dead in my tracks saying ‘uh’ many times. It was my clue that I needed to work more. I started to build the second half, arranging and rearranging it. I ended up doing about 4-5 dry runs of the presentation. My last dry run was in my car, an hour before I had to give the presentation, parked in the parking garage. That made me increasingly confident, knowing I had the ideas, organization, message and timing pretty well covered. But I worried, wondering if I would be able to stay on topic, keep the pace and timing going in a dynamic situation.
By the time I was up in front of the crowd I was comfortable. I was feeling that I could do it, and do it well. I think I did. One can never know, some may have thought it was confusing, some too long, some too this or that. but in my mind I gave them my best.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman of The Napkin Dad Daily
It’s the final day of ‘Change Week’ at the NDD.
Next week it will CHANGE to something else!
The child learns from the parents.
Do you want to influence your child to become someone better? Then show him or her the benefits and value of that change by making it in yourself first. NOTHING will be more effective.
When your child sees you growing and becoming something better, whether it is you overcoming an anger issue, an addiction, a tendency to judge others or a million other things, they remember it. Showing your child by your example, that it can be done and that you have the courage and the strength to do it, is what that same child will remember when it comes their time to move forward and change something about themselves.
Change is in the air as we start Change Week at The Napkin Dad Daily!
I am giving a Napkin Dad presentation on change at the end of the week. I will be the keynote speaker at the 4-H Parent Volunteer State Conference in Stillwater, Oklahoma. I am really excited to be asked to speak on the topic since it’s one of my favorites and one I have drawn and written about quite a bit.
Besides collecting past napkins on change for the presentation I thought I would take the opportunity to draw some new ones this week.
The difference of course is that when you are in a rut you have the chance to get out. But you have to know you are in one and you have to want to get out. If you are in a car you expect to go somewhere. Being in a rut is at odds with that and you struggle to get out of it. Of course to do that, you often have to get out of your comfort zone (the car) and get yourself dirty.
But what about when you aren’t in a car. What about when it’s just life you are in. How do you even know you are in a rut? Some indicators are that you feel bored, dissatisfied, antsy, unfulfilled. You might be doing passive aggressive activities that are meant to break up the monotony of your life even though you don’t even know it. You could even be doing some self-destructive things that are really in the place of successfully getting out of a rut.
One thing is certain, to get out of a rut you must change something. It might be as simple as getting out of a car and giving it a push. You might just have to call for help. You might have to get hot, sweaty and dirty.
But maybe the rut isn’t the hole in the ground. Maybe the rut is in you. Then what? It’s no longer about changing the outside environment. It’s no longer about changing jobs or boyfriends or girlfriends or homes or cities or hairstyles or shoes. Now it’s about changing your attitude, your outlook, your understanding.
Attitude, Outlook and Understanding. Those are the real tow trucks out of your rut.
Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Ellen Glasgow, 1873-1945, Pulitzer Prize winning American Novelist
Napkin Dad geographic trivia for June –
Most pages viewed in one visit – 16.5 – Belgium
Longest time on the site in one visit – 21.03 minutes – Egypt
Northern most visitor – Wasilla, Alaska, USA (maybe Sarah?)
Southern most visitor – Launceston, Tasmania, Australia
I am sitting in my studio on a Sunday morning, three years to the day that Melissa came to live with us. Turns out she did stay one week. Then she stayed another. Then a month had passed. I was able to convince the agency that I could be an affective foster parent and soon school started.
There were some adjustments to be made on all sides, but it was less of a struggle than I thought. Maria and Melissa learned about their boundaries from having a few spats. They made up quickly and no damage was done. Daria felt a bit unneeded at first, with Maria no longer barging into her room to tell her something. Daria used to complain about that, but it turns out she missed it. Melissa made a good bond with Daria though and before long Daria found both of them barging in to tell her things. She didn’t pretend to hate that anymore.
Six months later I started adoption proceedings and 6 months after that, it was finalized. My 4 daughters conspired to try to convince me to allow Melissa to change her name to match theirs. They suggested Laria, Staria and Faria. I suggested Blaria, Glaria and Ungaria. They didn’t think my suggestions were very good at all. In the end she stayed Melissa, because we all really liked her just as she was.
In September of that year she got another beautiful envelope in the mail from her brother. It was of a sunrise. In it he told her that he was going to finally be able to move back to Oklahoma. He had been discharged from the army and had found a job in Tulsa, the main city in the area. He was here in time for Christmas.
A nicer guy I had never met; polite, creative, caring and very much in love with his little sister. He also, it turns out, fell in love with someone else. Caria was home for the Christmas holiday and they spent a number of days together. They hit it off wonderfully and started dating. By the time the next summer came they were inseparable.
Now I sit in my studio 3 years later thinking about how the most random of events; the placement of an envelope in the wrong box, the desire of a young girl to learn to paint, the death of a good man at an inconvenient time, all led to the events of the past day.
From where I sit in my studio I can see into the kitchen. There, on the table, are 3 corsages. The flowers are white and red, the colors Caria chose for her wedding.
I can see beyond the kitchen into the yard. There is a bunny in the yard the dogs haven’t seen yet. I see it eating a dandelion. There are birds at the bird feeder fighting for a perch. I smile as I look beyond the yard, watching as puffy clouds make an orange and pink blanket in the sky amidst my favorite thing in all the world, a beautiful sunrise.
