by Marty Coleman | Aug 13, 2014 | Laughter - 2014, Oscar Wilde |
It’s the end of Laughter. Well, my series on it at least.
The Best
Recently an online acquaintance of mine, Deana Silk, moved 100 miles away to Oklahoma City from Tulsa. She is friends with a number of my friends, so her departure was well documented in social media with photos of going away parties and lunches that I saw in my various feeds. She has also been a well-known local newscaster here in Tulsa for 10+ years so there were on-air remembrances of her time at the station where she worked as well.
There were tears in the pictures and tears on the set. But what was more in abundance than the tears were the smiles and laughs. I mean BIG SMILES AND BIG LAUGHS. Not only does Deana have a great smile and laugh but everyone around her did as well. I didn’t need to be at the parties to see how much fun they all had together. And the on-air remembrances, while mentioning her professional capabilities (which are substantial), were more focused on the fun they all had together on the set and on location.
The Good and the Bad
Watching that move from afar made me think how much happier someone is when they depart with smiles and laughs than when they don’t. I moved across the country with my family in 1994 and the departure from San Jose, California was filled with happy laughs and great remembrances. But I also have been in a job where I had to be walked out the door (as is common in corporate offices) on the day I was let go. There was no joyous laughter, just a lonely walk out the door, cut off from a proper ending. That sucks when that happens and I have seen it happen way too many times.
The Worst
But there is an even worse scenario, and that is when you are leaving and no one cares, perhaps because there were very few smiles or laughs. That would suck even more. How do you avoid something like that? Well, the key is in Deana’s on-air remembrances. Her time on the job was filled with that joy and laughter. She engaged and had fun with her co-workers all through the years, even as she met her professional responsibilities. In other words, it was an accumulation of love, not just a moment of it.
The Best Again
Just for fun, here is a clip of the going away party for the CEO of Net-A-Porter. Take a look and think how much he was loved and how much laughter and joy had to been given and received over the years. Oh, and be glad you aren’t the man or woman who follows in his footsteps!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Oscar Wilde
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 12, 2014 | Ebony Arwen, Laughter - 2014 |
I was already in the midst of doing a series on laughter when I heard of Robin William’s death. There was no reason to change course.
The Balance
As with many around the planet, I am not just surprised by the news of Robin William’s passing but am surprised by how emotional his death is for me. I see again and again over the past 24 hours people talking and posting and responding to the event by stating flatly their shock, then their sadness, then their remembrance of how he moved them in his various character portrayals.
As I was watching one of the morning programs giving their headlines over to his death in a way not usually reserved for celebrities I was almost brought to tears. But then there was a huge shock. The next story? About the emergency food and water drop in Iraq and the brutal, cruel, barbaric killing going on there. The one after that? The continuing rise in deaths from Ebola. After that? The riot and aftermath in Ferguson, Missouri over the death of an unarmed teen at the hands of a police officer.
Report after report of the most brutal events came, one after another. And then it hit me. There is such a frail balance between joy and sorrow in the world. When you hear and see about such terrible atrocities around the globe, you really rely on those people and events that give you joy to balance it out. Having Robin Williams depart is a big blow to that balance for me. The emotion is even greater because it’s as if all his joyful characters left as well. Luckily, that is not the case, they are on film to be seen for a long time. But the spark that created those characters is gone, and that is almost just as sad.
The Depth
While we love comedy and laughter, and it helps us balance out the pain in the world or in our own lives, it’s important to realize that laughter will never truly mask pain permanently. Pain will find a way out, either directly or indirectly. The more you attempt to go around pain, the farther and scarier your journey to healing actually becomes. It’s tough to face it directly and honestly we all find ways to avoid it if we can, but eventually we have to face it and the sooner we do, the stronger we will be.
From Ebony of Perth
I found the quote I used while reading a blogging friend’s heartfelt response to his death. It touched me because of how it connected William’s death to her own personal story of her father’s death. Here is what she wrote.
For Robin’s family, there may never be a silver lining evident. As someone who has lost my dad to suicide, I want people to know that even in dark times, there is light to be found.
I found out that my dad died the day after MJ passed and virtually suffered in silence as the world mourned a controversial celebrity. He had sent me a message I never replied to and have not been capable of reading since. Despite that, it does get better. We can all heal together.
Today there may be no blessings for Robin’s family. The majority of the world are far enough away from the loss, to be able to see that this can be a lesson on mental health and the fucked up stigma surrounding it.
The shiniest angels sometimes have the darkest demons. What goes up must come down. Ask for help and offer it whenever you feel is right. The answer to an unasked question is always no and ignorance is not bliss any more. Unless you felt good when you heard.
We have lost a warrior, we have not lost the war. May his memory rest in peace and his works remain in history forever.
You can find out more about Ebony of Perth at her website, The Adventures of Ebony.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote and quoted story by Ebony Arwen, 1992 – not dead yet, Australian writer and blogger
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 10, 2014 | Mary Cassatt, Mary Cassatt |
In spite of their popularity during my lifetime, I’ve never been a huge fan of many of the Impressionists. But there are a few that I have loved from the first time I saw their work; Degas, Manet, Caillebotte. Ranking in that top group is the only American and only one of two women (the other being Berthe Morisot) to break into the ranks of first generation Impressionists, Mary Cassatt. She is an artist I love.
Mary Cassatt
Today, she is best known for her domestic scenes of mother and child such as the two below.
Maternity, 1890
At the Window, 1889, Pastel on Paper
But, as is typical of most artists, what she was most famous for was not her style at the beginning of her career. She first painted images using a low intensity palette of color, with grays and browns predominating, as was the fashion in the Paris Salon. The subject matter was somewhat theatrical and staged, removed from elements of everyday life, much like a studio portrait photograph is now.
Toreador, 1873
Spanish Dancer Wearing Lace Mantilla, 1873, Oil on Canvas
Portrait of a Woman, 1872, Oil on Canvas
As refined and polished as these paintings are, you can see in the unfinished double portrait below that she had a very exciting and vibrant brush stroke underlying her work.
Sketch of Mrs. Curry and Sketch of Mr. Cassatt (upside down), 1871
Transformation
Between the early 1870s, when these paintings were created and exhibited at the official Salon in Paris and the late 1870s, Cassatt had an artistic transformation. The catalyst for this transformation was her interaction with a fellow artist, Edgar Degas.
Edgar Degas, 1865
Degas, 10 years older than Cassatt, first saw her work at her studio in 1877 and immediately invited her to be part of the ‘independents’ exhibition of artists known as ‘Impressionists’ (a name neither of them ever liked). However, before they had ever met, Cassatt had been enthralled by a number of pastel drawings of Degas she had seen in a storefront window. It was this first brush with his style that freed her to pursue a new direction in her own.
Mary by Edgar
Degas painted Cassatt at least 8 times. He used this one drawing of Cassatt as a basis for at least 3 other paintings and drawings.
‘Mary Cassatt at the Louvre’, by Edgar Degas, 1879, Pastel
Here’s one of them.
‘Mary Cassatt at the Louvre’, by Edgar Degas, 1885, Pastel and Etching
At the Opera
One of Cassatt’s most well known works is this one. Interesting to note the social commentary she’s added to the painting with the older gentleman in the background looking at the woman as she looks at the stage.
In the Loge, 1879, oil on canvas
She also depicted herself at the theater.
Self Portrait at the Theater, 1879, Oil on Canvas
This one is not designated a self-portrait as far as I can tell, but the face does look very similar to Cassatt so I think it’s a good bet it is of her.
Woman with a Pearl Necklace in a Loge, 1879, Oil on Canvas
The one below is not a self-portrait but is of interest because of her experimentation with metallic paint amidst the more traditional material.
At The Theater, 1878, Pastel and Gouache
The Experimentalist
Cassatt was a rigorous experimentalist with her art. She not only embraced a then radical painting style, but she also investigated many areas outside her realm of expertise. She often used the same image (as do many artists), transforming it by using different media. First is a quick sketch of a scene at the Opera. This could very likely have been done at the actual opera house.
The Loge, 1878, graphite on paper
She then returned to her studio and created an oil painting of the scene.
The Loge, 1878, Oil on Canvas
She then created two entirely new pieces using the printmaking techniques of Etching and Aquatint.
The Loge, 1878, Etching and Aquatint
The Loge, 1878, Etching and Aquatint
The Japanese
In 1890 an exhibition of Japanese prints came to Paris. When Cassatt saw the show she was immediately taken by the graceful simplicity of line and color. She started in on a series of prints influenced by this style. She embraced this style and recreated it with a modern French sensibility.
The Child’s Bath, 1893, Etching and Aquatint
Once again, you can see her experimenting. In this case she uses the same Intaglio plate, to print different versions of the same image.
The Child’s Bath, 1893, Etching and Aquatint
Under the Horse Chestnut Tree, 1898, Etching and Aquatint
Woman Bathing, 1890, Drypoint and Aquatint
The Fitting, 1891, Etching and Aquatint
The Coiffure, 1891, Etching and Aquatint
Later work
Mary Cassatt became a very famous and respected artist and collector of art. She was award the Legion d’honneur by France in 1904 for her contribution to the arts. She continued to paint well into the 20th century. Her style by that time was set and she did little further experimentation. Her subject matter from 1900 on was almost exclusively domestic scenes of mothers and children.
Young Mother Sewing, 1900
Reine Lefebre and Margot Before a Window, 1902, Oil on Canvas
She even had 2 prints in the famous 1913 Armory show in New York City. However, by 1914 she was blind and ceased to paint. She died in 1926. Ironically, her reputation in the US was not nearly as grand as it was in France. She was overshadowed by her brother, a railroad magnate, and had an unfortunate split with her sister-in-law over women’s suffrage. As a result her family boycotted an exhibition of her work in Philadelphia. This led her to donate her vast collection of her paintings still in her possession to museums and not her heirs.
Fall/Winter 2016
Winter/Spring 2015
Summer 2014
Winter 2012/2013
Winter 2011/2012
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 8, 2014 | Laughter - 2014, Martin Luther |
Hell yea, it’s day #3 of Laughter week!
Seriously
Have you ever heard this quote from the Bible? “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” Eph 5:4
I went looking for the exact quote to make sure I got it right and found some interesting sites! There’s one that starts out with, ‘Laughter is not joy and humor is not from God’. It then goes on for a LONG time describing in details why jokes and joking and humor are bad and destructive. Ironically, it’s very funny.
There is also a site that asks the question, “Did Jesus ever laugh?” That made me laugh.
Good Humor
I don’t like hearing jokes that are hurtful and mean-spirited. That is why I avoid TV shows and comedians that use their humor in mean-spirited and hurtful ways. Not because it isn’t funny; sometimes mean things are funny, but because it hurts. And yes, I understand there is a fuzzy line between appropriate and inappropriate and the line is different for each person.
Food Poisoning
So, when am I responsible for my response? I liken it to eating something poisonous vs eating something rotten. I can eat something filled with poison but not know it. then I am dead or really sick. Bad luck for me. I can also eat something where there is something a little off about the taste or smell. I chalk it up to you being paranoid and eat it anyway. Then the food turns out to rotten and I end up with food poisoning. In that case, I am to blame for not heeding my better instincts and avoiding the food.
The same is true with humor. Sometimes I don’t realize the humor is hurting someone and I just laugh. Sometimes I understand it is humor between friends, meant in an affectionate way and no offense is taken. But other times I do know it is hurtful and I choose to listen and laugh at it anyway. That’s not a good thing in my book.
While I am not a big believer in the idea of heaven in the first place, if it does exist I hope it’s filled with a lot of fun and laughter just nothing mean and hurtful.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Martin Luther, 1483 – 1546, German monk, founder of the Lutheran Church and foremost Protestant of the reformation era.
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If you’re not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 7, 2014 | Laughter - 2014, Victor Borge |
It’s cracking me up that today is day #2 of the Laughter Series!
The Great Dissolve
I have a lot of friends here in Tulsa and around the country who are conservative Republicans. I am not. Sometimes on Facebook or elsewhere we can get in some pretty intense debates about stuff.
But when we get together (online or in person) and something funny is said or happens, our political affiliation immediately disappears and we just laugh. That is a good thing.
I also have friends in other countries with widely differing understandings of the world. But when something is funny between us, it’s funny there in South Africa, Russia, Korea, Australia, Slovakia, Mexico, Canada, Indonesia, India, and Norway.
Wars aren’t started by people having fun and laughing in a positive way. Laughing is good.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Victor Borge, 1909 – 2000, Danish musician and comedian. He was a favorite of my parents and was one of the funniest people I ever saw or heard.
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 6, 2014 | Anonymous, Laughter - 2014 |
Laugh all you want, but today is day #1 of the Laughter series.
Men, I Tell Ya
I recently became more active in a Dad Blogger’s Facebook group. One thing I noticed was how much ribbing goes on there. It’s not that men aren’t asking or talking about serious questions, or that they aren’t opening up about sensitive things, they are. And there are plenty of answers and discussions that are equally serious, sensitive and helpful. Guys are surprisingly vulnerable there, mostly because they know they will be heard and not condemned as they might in another venue. But they also know that within all the sensitivity and helpfulness there is going to be some serious making fun of them. There will be some ‘what a wimp’ or ‘Man, your wife is one unlucky woman’ type statements. The men who put themselves out there and get those sorts of responses understand that within this group, cracking a joke, especially at their expense, is an essential part of the bonding and fun between everyone. It can go on and on and on for days.
The One Liner
BUT, right along side this ribbing are some truly sensitive, helpful, vulnerable and positive responses, from the same men who are doing the ribbing. This can happen while the group rallies to raise money for one of the guys with cancer. This happens when one of the guys is blindsided by a wife asking for a divorce. Truly terrible and heart rending situations that the men take seriously. But they also know a good one liner when they hear one and will often insert it because, well, how could you waste a perfectly good one liner just because a guy is getting a divorce, right? The truth is that guy getting a divorce, the one devastated and demolished? He understands that and, from what I have seen so far, truly appreciates the camaraderie and brotherhood exhibited by the joking. He knows the deep care that is there and that makes the joke (even a lame one) something that draws them closer, not farther, from each other.
Women Being Made Fun Of
This group pretty much backs up a belief I have. Men, in my experience, can take a joke better than most women. Men get ribbed more and understand in advance that it is not likely that the ribbing is serious. Even if it is serious, they know best way to respond is to laugh it off and allow others to laugh at your expense. Women, more sensitive in general (in my opinion), and less likely to have been around a world where making fun of someone is done with affection, are hurt by this sort of ribbing. They take it personally and feel unloved and uncared for when it happens.
Danger
Having said that, when someone does not take ribbing or being made fun of well, it will likely be a man who overreacts and does something seriously stupid and/or dangerous. A woman might get depressed about it all but a man can, and too often does, get angry and violent. Their ego and pride has been bruised, they want revenge, they want to get even. I am not saying women never have that reaction, just that it’s more likely that men will react that way. This is the downside of the male being made fun of.
This dilemma is illustrated by another napkin drawing I did a number of months ago. Click in the napkin to go to that blog post.
The Key
The key in my mind is learn that it’s ok to be made fun of, you will survive it. You will survive it even better if you take it with a grain of salt and let it go.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote (first napkin) is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 4, 2014 | The Napkin Islands |
Map #1
I refilled some markers yesterday and made a mess. I cleaned it up with a napkin. Just as back in 2012-2013 when I did my ‘Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts’ series using napkins I tested my markers on, I thought this time I would makes something of the mess. The result is map #1 of ‘The Napkin Islands’.
This overview map has the big islands, seas, oceans and some other elements named. When I focus in on one area I will start naming the smaller passages and water features.
Where is your island? What’s it’s name?
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Here is what it looked like before I started.
And this is what it looked like a little while later.
Are you wondering where all the volcanos came from in the final image? Like I mentioned, I refilled a number of markers. When I uncapped the red one to use it this morning it was so wet and full that it splattered all over the napkin. I just kept going and made volcanos!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 31, 2014 | Travel Napkins |
Another day at Starbucks waiting for my car to be fixed.
Jade at Starbucks
My car door handle fell off last week. Very strange. One part actually broke, the other part just became dislodged and I couldn’t put it back in properly. I brought it to the dealer so they could put on the new part I had already ordered and reinstall the handle properly. While the did that I went to Starbucks to have a mocha and draw.
This woman was studying and I took advantage of her stillness to draw her while I had a cherry oat bar and drank my coffee. While I was in the middle of drawing it I posted the picture as part of my ‘Where Am I?’ series I do on social media.
Of course, someone guessed right away that it was Starbucks based on the color of the napkin. Someone else guessed Greece, which would have been nice. Another guessed ‘Night Trips’ which is a ‘Gentlemans Club’ in Tulsa, which would have been interesting.
Later the woman got up to leave and took the opportunity to show her the drawing. She was very excited to have been drawn and took a picture of it. I then took a photo of her holding up the drawing. I introduced myself, gave her my card. I found out her name is Jade.
Jade left and shortly thereafter she friended me on Instagram, posting the photo she took of the drawing. I in turn posted this photo. It turns out she is an artist and the drawing inspired her to start drawing during her cafe moments like she used to. That’s exciting and I hope to see the drawings soon!
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Drawing and photos by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 30, 2014 | 'In The Gallery' |
The Blue Woman
Prologue
She born in 1977 in rural west Texas. When she was born her lips were blue and her father exclaimed, “Well, HELLO Blue!” and the nickname stuck. Her real name was Trinity Amelia Forsyth. No one ever called her Trinity except for the youth pastor at her church growing up, and he was creepy and did bad things so she didn’t like it.
Chapter One
When Blue was 35 years old she became depressed. She wanted children but her husband’s sperm count was so low (as was his libido) that after 10 years of marriage she was still without children. Her husband didn’t believe in women working outside the home, because that would mean they would likely have a man in authority over her, and the bible said only the husband should be over the wife. She sold makeup and hair products out of her house and made enough money to afford cable TV.
Chapter Two
She had a ladies bible study she went to every Wednesday at 10am. They were reading through the entire old testament, focusing on the characteristics of an obedient woman. It had grown from just 5 ladies to now over 20. She had hoped after the last year’s curriculum of studying the heroic men of the scripture, they would do something more contemporary, maybe a study of how to deal with the stresses of modern life as a Christian. She was more depressed by this not happening than she at first realized.
Chapter Three
One day in the summer of 2013 Blue asked the bible study leader if they could talk after the study was over. She smiled at her and said of course. The leader was the Pastor’s wife. Her name was Millicent but everyone called her Milly. She had perfect skin and always smelled wonderful. Blue had known her for 10 years but had never had any deep conversations with her. She hadn’t had deep conversations with many people because it was very seldom her husband allowed her to be alone with others. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her he said, but that he didn’t trust others. He wanted to make sure no alien or strange ideas were given to her. She once had to go get her tires rotated and had a conversation with a man in the waiting room. She told her husband about the conversation and he got very angry at her, slapping her and telling her how dangerous that was. She was slapped and hit for many reasons over the years.
Chapter Four
While she waited to have the conversation, Milly escorted the rest of the ladies to the front door and said her goodbyes. They all looked at Blue as they went out with an expression of pity that was very familiar to her. She had seen it often over the past 10 years. Mostly at church, but also at the dollar store where she did a lot of her shopping and the hair salon.
Milly came back in the room and sat down in the straight back chair next to Blue. Milly had great posture, always sitting up straight and keeping her chest up. Blue once thought it was her way of showing off her figure without having to show any flesh but then she felt bad thinking Milly would be so shallow and vain like her and decided she was just trained right as a child.
Chapter Five
Blue asked Milly if she had ever been depressed. Milly looked at her through her colored contacts and said, “Yes Blue, I have been depressed. It was when I was 21 and I didn’t have a boyfriend since junior year in high school. I remember being so sad. But my daddy told me to pray for a husband even harder and it would happen. Sure enough it did and once Billy found me and took me as his bride I haven’t been depressed ever since. Of course, having 5 kids and leading all you ladies doesn’t give me any time to be depressed even if I wanted to be! Why do you ask Blue?”
Blue explained to her that she was afraid she would never have children. Milly responded confidently, “You will have children Blue. I just know it. First thing we need to do is pray for that, right now.” Milly led a very fast and adamant prayer pleading with God to give Blue a baby. She even asked that it happen that very night. She then said, “Blue, you need to go home and get your self ready so when your husband comes home he won’t be able to resist you. I bet you anything if you can do that, tonight you are going to make a baby!”
Chapter Six
In the strangest of ways that conversation was the turning point in Blue’s life. While Milly expected Blue to heed her bible study leader’s helpful guidance and go home to get the house clean, get herself showered and pretty for her husband, that is not what happened. What really happened was Blue found herself unexpectedly laughing inside at the absurdity of the whole idea. She knew her husband would never have sex with her, no matter what she did. She knew he hadn’t been able to get or sustain an erection for over 2 years, probably due to his excessive drinking and weight gain. He got much more excited about yelling at her and hitting her than he ever did having sex with her.
Chapter Seven
Instead of going straight home Blue did the one thing she had always been afraid to do growing up in west Texas. She was teased and laughed at for not learning how to do it. After the bible study she drove to the All-Texas Gun Range in the neighboring town and signed up for lessons.
She didn’t tell her husband, and she made sure to always to have all the clothes she wore to the gun range off and in the wash before he came home, just in case there was a gun powder smell on them. She also made sure to shower. She made sure to always go to the Piggly Wiggly supermarket and get some groceries when she went so he wouldn’t question her mileage on her car, which he always checked.
Epilogue
Six months later her husband died in hunting accident when he was accidentally shot by a hunter. The hunter and his friends swore they never saw him and couldn’t imagine how they hit him. But it was found out he did not have his orange vest on for some reason and with his camo outfit on could barely be seen. The hunter was exonerated of any wrong doing but insisted to anyone who would listen that he did not shoot him.
After his death, Blue moved to Louisiana to live and help with an elderly aunt. She started using her given name, Trinity, and got a job at a makeup counter in a department store. She was the number one saleswoman 3 years running. She adopted twins, a boy and a girl, and never got married again.
The End
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 29, 2014 | Family History |
It’s happened again! I am a grandfather. My daughter, Chelsea, gave birth to my first grandson. Otis Martin Coleman Patzner was born 7/27/14 at 10:41pm in Santa Rosa, California. He was a healthy 8 lbs, 7 oz. This is just over a year after Rebekah gave birth to Vivian, my first granddaughter, so we are adding to the family at a spry pace and Linda and I couldn’t be happier!
And if you ask if I am happy they stuck my name right smack dab in the middle of his, Papa Marty says, Damn straight I am!
Both Chelsea and Otis’ father, Graham Patzner, are creative musicians, and both come from creative family lineage so I have no doubt Otis is going to follow that creative thread in some way. It might not be guitar, but it will be something!
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