by Marty Coleman | Jul 16, 2014 | Jennifer Donnelly, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
I promise that this is #3 of my Promises, Promises series.
Do or Die
During my first marriage, I broke promises. Somewhere along the line the combination of me breaking those promises and my wife’s own issues and realizations, led her to file for divorce. She made one statement that has stuck with me all these years. It was the statement that clarified for me how bad she saw her situation. She said, “I feel if I stay, I will die.”
There really wasn’t much arguing to do with a statement like that. She had reached a point, whether I understood it or not, where the promise she made to marry and stay married was going to break her. She needed to save herself and the only way in her mind at that point was to divorce me. I didn’t fight it.
Compassion For Breaking
I am not a fan of divorce. But I understand how it can come to pass when what seemed to be just a small ring around your finger becomes a ball and chain around your neck. I wish rational arguments could sometimes win the day, but I know that the human heart and human needs are such that rationality isn’t what drives us into a marriage and it isn’t what causes us to dissolve a marriage.
All this just to suggest we have some mercy and compassion for those who feel the need to divorce, to break the marital vow before it breaks them. Really, truly listening deep to what is going on inside their heart and mind is the best way to assure you understand.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Jennifer Donnelly, 1963 – not dead yet, American writer
Jennifer Donnelly
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It’s a bad thing to break a promise, but it’s also bad to let a promise to break you
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 14, 2014 | Alexander Archipenko, Art, Artists I Love |
The Hidden Gems
There is a museum here in Tulsa, a gem relatively unknown outside of Oklahoma and the art world. Philbrook Museum of Art was originally an Italian inspired mansion built in 1927 by Waite Phillips of Phillips 66 lineage. He and his wife gave the estate to Tulsa in 1938 as an art center and it’s been Tulsa’s center of art appreciation and education ever since.
Philbrook Museum of Art and Gardens
Alexander Archipenko is also a gem relatively unknown outside the art world. If you know Cubist and Modernist art history, specifically sculpture, you may have heard of him. Otherwise it’s not likely.
Alexander Archipenko, 1887-1964
Giddy Rediscovery
Even though I am an artist and studied art history, I know of Archipenko for a more personal reason. My grandparents had a great collection of art in their house growing up. Most were mid-twentieth century American drawings and prints. But they had one art piece that was different than all the rest. It was a small figurative sculpture by Alexander Archipenko.
I had largely forgotten about this sculpture when In 2012 I was leading a group of photographers on a photo shoot called ‘Black and White at Philbrook’. I turned into one of the 72 rooms of the mansion/museum and found this in front of me.
Standing Concave, Bronze – Philbrook Museum of Art
I knew immediately it was the sculpture. I knew it wasn’t THE sculpture because the one my grandparents had was silver plated bronze and this was just bronze. But it was the same sculpture made from the same mold. Most bronze sculptures are made in multiples.
I actually got giddy about this unexpected find. I remember telling some of the people with me about it being the same one I had been around as a kid. I wasn’t at all sure they believed me, but I was excited nonetheless. It brought me back to my youth, to my grandparent’s house and to my unadulterated love of art.
Here is another view of the piece I took in color so I could send it to my family to double check my memory. My older sister at first wasn’t sure it was the right one but eventually came to the conclusion it was.
Standing Concave – Philbrook Museum of Art
Standing Concave / Glorification of Beauty, 1914
Touching and Being Touched By
This is the piece. It looks silver but it is actually a bronze sculpture that has been silver plated. All the grandkids loved to touch it’s cool surfaces and trace the lines (maybe the boys a bit more than the girls). I may have been a giggly little boy thinking it was fun to touch a naked sculpture at some point but what I ended with was a love of the form, style and surface. I am sure Mama Powell wasn’t happy about all the fingerprints but I don’t remember it being a big deal. This piece, and the others in their home, really were the visual starting point for me wanting to be an artist from an early age.
I found out in my research that it actually has two names. It’s listed most often as ‘Glorification of Beauty’ but I remember the word concave always being associated with it and it is also named ‘Standing Concave’ The Philbrook piece is named that way for example. Funny how that goes, I know in my own work I might look at an image years later, not remember the title and retitle it something completely different so it would make sense that it could have two names.
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Alexander Archipenko (1887-1964)
Archipenko was originally from Kiev in Russia (now part of Ukraine). He moved to Paris in 1908, becoming a creative contemporary of Picasso, Malevich, Duchamp, Derain and others. He moved quickly into a cubist style, but with a sleek sensibility to his work that presaged the Art Moderne design style of later decades.
He was one of the legendary artists exhibiting in the 1913 Armory show in New York City, one of the most controversial art exhibitions in history. His work was mocked (as were many other modern artist’s work) by the New York and American press. In spite of the negative reaction, it wasn’t long before he and many other European artists immigrated to America and established themselves and their styles as the preeminent forces directing the future of art around the world.
Torso, 1914
Gondolier, 1914
Blue Dancer, 1913
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As I mentioned, Archipenko was involved with some of the premier artists of his day. These sculptures, with a more theatrical and painterly emphasis than the bronzes sculptures , show in the use of color, form and material and with references to the circus, harlequins, and the female figure, the influence of Picasso and Duchamp in particular.
Carrousel Pierrot, 1913
In the Boudoir (Before the Mirror), 1915
Medrano II, 1913
Composition, 1920 – work on paper
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As he matured as an artist, he retained his interest in those same two directions.
Floating Torso, 1940
Queen of Sheba, 1961
Architectural Figure, 1950
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In his later years he won outdoor commissions that allowed him to create in a much larger scale than he had before.
Gateway Sculptures, University of Missouri, Kansas City, 1950
King Solomon, 1968 (cast based on small model completed before his death), University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia campus
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There were many other sculptors working during the first half of the 20th century that both influenced and were influenced by Archipenko. Here are two of them.
Jacques Lipchitz, Girl with Braided Hair, 1914
Henry Moore with his sculpture
Remember, seeing art is one of the best ways of insuring you will see the world in it’s fullest light. It’s always worth exploring art.
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If you would like to know more about Archipenko a great place to start is at the Archipenko Foundation, headed by his widow, Frances Archipenko Gray.
You can see others in my ‘Artists I Love’ series here:
Fall/Winter 2016
Winter/Spring 2015
Summer 2014
Winter 2012/2013
Winter 2011/2012
You can also find them via the ‘Artists’ drop down menu on the right.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 10, 2014 | Illustrated Short Stories, Marty Coleman |
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Prologue
She moved to Denver and told herself she was going to change things, get out and start living again, even if it was just to go get coffee in the morning.
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Chapter One
The Knitter liked to go to Starbucks to knit. From her chair at the window she would watch for her secret crush to come in, as he did every morning. She first saw him the very first day she moved to Denver. He was wearing a suit that reminded her of her late husband. He ordered a tall cup of straight coffee, no room for cream, and left promptly.
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Chapter Two
She saw him every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for 7 months straight. She worked the afternoon/evening shift on those days and so had time to relax in the mornings. He eventually noticed her always being there and would smile, wave or say good morning to her as he left. He disappeared when summer arrived. The knitter was incredibly sad about this, more so than she expected.
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Chapter Three
When fall arrived so did he. He came in just like clockwork on the first Wednesday after Labor Day. The knitter was very happy. She had dreamt about him more and more while he was absent and she thought that was all that she would have of him. But she had been so sad for so long that she was happy to be dreaming about something, someone other than her husband, whom she had been married to for 20 years before the heart attack killed him. It had been 2 years when she moved to Denver and he still was vivid in her dreams up until that summer.
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Chapter Four
The secret crush smiled broadly when he saw the knitter in her usual seat. For the first time he actually walked over to her and introduced himself. His name was Dave and he worked just down the street as a engineer for an Oil and Gas Company. He had been gone for the summer, assigned to Pakistan for 3 months to help retrofit some old oil fields with new safety equipment. That was his specialty. He ask the knitter her name. He thought Kiki was a very happy name and that it fit her.
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Chapter Five
The next Friday he was already at Starbucks when she arrived, and he was sitting in her seat. He got up and nervously told her he had gotten there early to have time to talk to her. He asked if she liked picnics. She said yes and smiled. He asked if she liked romantic movies. She said yes and smiled even more. He asked if she would like to go see a movie on the lawn at the local park. He would bring the picnic dinner. She said yes and smiled even more. He was smiling broadly as well.
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Chapter Six
They went to the movie and fell in love. She cried when she got home, realizing how lucky she was. He did the same. Four months later they were married.
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Epilogue
She still goes to Starbucks 3 mornings a week to knit. But now they come in and get their coffee together. His office is close enough that he can walk the rest of the way to work and she stays knitting, with a smile on her face.
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The End
Story and drawing by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 9, 2014 | Arab Proverbs, Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
There is a 100% chance of this drawing being #2 in my Promises series.
Running in the Rain
When I start coaching a new season many of my runners worry about what we do if it rains. I tell them one of my favorite things to do is run in the rain and that we run in it unless lightning is present. They are not at all sure they like the idea.
But when we start out on a long run in stifling, drenching heat and humidity but with ominous clouds promising rain it doesn’t take long for them to be begging for the rain to actually fall. Those days when it does, it’s glorious. We are energized and rejuvenated and happy. We are little kids puddle jumping. But those days when it teases but doesn’t rain, then we are miserable because not only are we still hot and drenched in sweat, but our expectations of a cooling rain are left unfulfilled.
Cloud Promises
Promises are like that cloud threatening to rain. Our expectations go up and our disappoint is all the greater if the promise isn’t kept. It’s often better for the promise to not even appear in advance. You simply act on what you know you have purposed in your heart privately and the cooling and nurturing rain falls. No promise, just action.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is an Arabian Proverb
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A promise is a cloud, fulfillment is the rain
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 8, 2014 | Promises Promises - 2014-16 |
Hello Napkin Kin!
I am back from an awesome vacation to Colorado to have a family reunion on my wife’s side. I drove back solo (11 hours and 42 minutes) and had some time to think (ya think?!?) One of the things I thought about was promises so I decided to do a little series on them.
Little Things
A few years ago I made a new years resolution that consisted of only four words, ‘Do Every Little Thing’. It was my way of refocusing my attention on big promises I make by making sure I didn’t let the little things fall through the cracks. I knew that if I wanted to fulfill these promises (to myself or others) I needed to take better care of the small things that the big things were made up of.
Promising Small
I actually started doing much better about the small things. I have a long way to go but I think I am much better about doing what I promise I will do. ‘Much better’ doesn’t mean I am great at it, it means I started a long way off and am now better, more consistent than I used to be. I still have a long way to go.
What do you do to help yourself keep your promises?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is Anonymous
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Promise little, do much
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 23, 2014 | Sigmund Freud, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I would be insulted if you didn’t look at offering #4 of ‘The Illustrated Insult’ series!
Sticks and Stones
I’ve let words stop my progress in life a LOT more than I’ve let physical setbacks. You wouldn’t think so given my physical history. I cut myself falling over things hundreds times as a kid, stubbed my toe every day, got sunburnt, fell off bikes and skateboards regularly. I bodysurfed my way into faceplants in the sand, snow skied into trees going down expert slopes I never should have been on, kicked sprinklers hidden in ivy while running full bore looking for a lost tennis ball. I’ve run marathons that had me wiped out and promising to never run one again. And of course there was the boat explosion I’ve mentioned before where I was blown up and burned on 70% of my body.
None of these physical accidents, stupidities, injuries, wounds, etc. ever help me back from anything (once I recovered of course). I didn’t move ahead with doubt or fear. Maybe I moved forward with a bit of wisdom (I hope) but I still felt confident I could tackle whatever I wanted, including those same things that had caused the injury.
Words Will Ever Hurt Me
But here is the curious thing, I have let my career be stopped again and again by words. Harsh words of critique, the absent words of praise, the second-hand words of gossip, the unspoken but assumed words of disdain or condescension, the ‘helpful’ words of correction. Why is it that I, someone supposedly confident (and I am to a large degree) is stopped in his tracks by mere words? Why are these such powerful insults to my psyche? What is the difference between ‘sticks and stones’ and ‘words’?
I would like to hear your ideas and stories about this.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Sigmund Freud, 1856-1939, Austrian Neurologist and Psychoanalyst
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The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 19, 2014 | Anonymous, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
Mickey and Me
Ever since I was a kid I was told I looked like Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees. My buddies and I convinced a clerk at a McDonalds once that I was his younger brother and she gave me a free coke because of it. I even had someone put his photo on my FB page claiming he was my doppelganger.
Hot or Not
Now, if you ask me, I don’t think Mickey is all that handsome. And those who say I look like him aren’t necessarily giving me a compliment, they could easily think he isn’t all that handsome either. They may think he is, as I do, sort of squinchy-faced, a bit too rough and blockhead looking, for their taste. Then again, they may find him very handsome. Plenty of people have, after all. I can assume then, that among those same people, some find me handsome, some don’t.
So, that made me wonder how others thought about this. What about you? Do you find those who look like you attractive, ugly or something else altogether?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who also has been told he’s looked like the following over his life; Taylor Lautner (played Jacob in Twilight), Butch Patrick (played Eddie on The Munsters), Brandon Cruz (played Eddie on ‘Courtship of Eddie’s Father ), Jason Alexander (played George Costanza on Seinfeld), Steve Martin, Tommy Smothers and “you know, that guy in the movies…what’s his name?”
Quote is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 17, 2014 | George Eliot, The Illustrated Insult 2014 |
I am crowing about today being day #2!
Cock a Doodle Doo
Last year my wife and I went to St. John in the US Virgin Islands. It was a fantastic vacation with only one thing that wasn’t great; cocks. We were staying in a beautiful cottage that was up a steep road, overlooking Coral Bay. Down below were small homes of full timers who lived and worked on the island. And they all had roosters. A lot of roosters. And all these cocks crowed. Some didn’t just crow when the sun rose. A few started crowing at about 2am and they didn’t stop crowing sometimes until maybe 6pm. That is a lot of crowing. Luckily it was an almost an imperceptible background noise during the day. It was only at night that it was annoying, waking us up. We unfortunately had to close the sliding glass door to muff the sound instead of being able to enjoy the beautiful night air.
Cocky Men
It occurred to me that this all day cock crowing was an appropriate analogy for some men. Some men crow when they get up, some men crow at other parts of the day. But there are some men who just crow all the time. They might crow incessantly because they are horny, or angry, or insecure, or power hungry or something else. But the one thing they all have in common, no matter their root motivation, is they want all the attention all the time. And they think they deserve it. ‘The world revolves around me and deservedly so’ is their spoiled thought.
Enabling
Where does this come from? If I had to guess, it would often be from an enabling mom and dad. The mom feeds the boy everything they need, always making them the center of attention, never demanding they share the limelight with others, or share the work load of life. It’s a peculiar form of enabling and spoiling mothers can sometimes do (it’s not restricted to boys, girls can be raised the same way). And how do dads contribute to this? By being a grown up little boy, also not sharing the limelight or the workload.
Another reason is very likely simple hormones. A horny guy is going to crow. He may not crow about sex, as a matter of fact he probably won’t be crowing about sex, but he is likely going to crow about something; maybe work, maybe family, maybe sports. In other words, men can be real dicks until there is some resolution (or distraction) for his issue. This isn’t about all men of course, but it’s about enough men to make it worth taking note.
Sexual Assault and Rape
If it was just a lot of talk, it would be bad enough, but in light of all the college campus and church issues of sexual assault and rape (to name just two areas of concern) you can see it leads to not just blustering talk, but to terrible and damaging actions as well. It’s not a good thing and men need to take notice of it as a real and dangerous character trait of entitlement that needs to be put in it’s place by men who see it in action among their friends.
Who the Sun Actually Rises For
I have four daughters so I can’t say exactly what I would do with a son. But I have a pretty good idea that I would make sure he understood that the sun actually rose to greet his mother, not him, and he sure as heck better help his mom (and the rest of the family) if he wants to share some of that light.
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Drawing and Commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by George Eliot, 1819-1880, English author. George Eliot was the pen name for Mary Ann Evans.
George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
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He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 16, 2014 | The Illustrated Insult 2014, Winston Churchill |
The truth is, it would be an insult for you not to read day #1 of ‘The Illustrated Insult’.
The Truth
Do you know people who do everything in their power to avoid the truth? It might be the truth about themselves, about their failed relationships, their job woes, their looks, their spouses, or something else. I have known some people like that in my life. Actually, I have BEEN one of those people. A perfect example is someone who drinks heavily and makes excuse after excuse about why their drinking isn’t that big a deal. I did that. I finally realized that the problem was never going to go away via the avenue of blaming others or finding rationalizations. It would only go away if I recognized what was tripping me up was me and that I had to something about it.
It’s You
That is the hard part, realizing the solution to the truth you are stumbling over is you. The stone in the road may not be self-inflicted. It may be your spouse or your job or your drinking or worse yet a civil war or a natural disaster. it can be any number of things. But solving it always starts with you. You have control over you. Not complete control of course, but certainly more control than over someone else or many outer circumstances.
Even When it’s Not You, It’s You
But what if it is outer circumstances? What if your job sucks? What if you are being abused by your husband or wife? What if you spouse put you in terrible debt? You can blame all those people and circumstances if you want, and it is good to properly evaluate who is doing what wrong. But once you realize that, you still need to make your choice as to how to respond. It’s still you that needs to take action, recognizing the truth and doing something about it.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British Politician. The quote was originally about a specific male, using He and Himself, in the quote. I changed it, as I sometimes do, to bring attention to the all to common linguistic assumption that everything is about men, not women.
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She occasionally stumbled over the truth but hastily picked herself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened
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by Marty Coleman | Jun 12, 2014 | Family History, The Extrovert & Introvert - 2014 |
It’s time to party hearty on day #4 of ‘The Extrovert and Introvert’ week!
The Plan
Years ago, in the 1980s, I planned an anniversary weekend with my first wife, Kathy. It was a big deal; an overnight trip to San Francisco’s Union Square with a stay at the St. Francis Hotel, a dinner at Postrio, the hottest restaurant on the west coast at the time, finishing with a fun night attending the play ‘Noises Off’. It was glittery, fun and filled with sounds, tastes, smells and sights that stimulated and entertained. It went off without a hitch and we had a great time.
The Reality
Well, ok. I had a great time. I thought Kathy was having a great time too. But later, on our way home, I asked her how she liked it, fully expecting her to be swooning over all of it and especially my exquisite romantic effort. Her response? It was ok but she didn’t like it all that much. Say WHAT? Are you kidding me? How could she not like it? My feelings were hurt, I felt like she had no respect for how hard I worked to put it all together to give her a great anniversary weekend. I was bummed.
She said the weekend I planned was too much. Maybe one of those things we did in the city would have been ok, but put them all together and it was too much. It was too stimulating, too sensory, too noisy and crowded and bright. I asked her what would she have wanted the weekend to be like. She said she would have preferred a quieter, more natural setting, maybe in the woods, in a cabin, going hiking, etc.
My Mistake, a Cautionary Tale
What I figured out later was that I had indeed planned the perfect anniversary weekend….for me, the extrovert. I didn’t really plan it for her, the introvert. I didn’t know her well enough to realize that doing all at one time filled her with anxiety, not joy. It didn’t excite her, it exhausted her.
I wish I could say I ceased to make those sorts of mistakes but I didn’t. It took me a long time to pay attention to who she was instead of who I wanted her to be. I think I am better about that now in my second marriage, to Linda. I am sure she sees times when I still don’t see her clearly, but I definitely pay more attention than I used to.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Criss Jami, 1987 – not dead yet, American poet
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