Last we saw the Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts they were avoiding watching the Saleslady and the Bartender do things with body parts they know longer had. This is what happened the next day.
The next day the bodyless ghirl ghosts decided to get clean. Since they don’t have clothes they only have to clean themselves and their hair. Their preferred way to do this is to bob in a bubble bath as it fills, before the person who is filling it comes back to take his or her own bath. They try to get out of the tub and be gone before that happens but occasionally they forget and are still in among the bubbles when the person gets in. Some of the ghirl ghosts actually like that, and they float around the person’s body, rubbing up against parts, being naughty. Greta, the sexy Ghirl Ghost likes it best and the other ghirl ghosts often have to come back to get her. Especially if its a man in the tub. She likes making his body parts change shape and him having no idea why. She also likes to do that on busses at the most inconvenient time, right before the man is about to stand up to get off. She’s naughty, like I said.
They do this by going into strangers’ houses or apartments. But this day the hotel they were staying at had a busted water heater and so there was no hot water anywhere in the whole hotel. They decided to go to the laundromat they saw down the street and see if they could get in one of the washers. They had seen the washers with the big front windows with a lot of soapy bubbles and thought that would work just fine.
They noticed a father with his young daughter about to put their clothes in one of the big tumbling machines. The door was open so while the father separated the clothes and the daughter checked all the pockets for change and gum, they floated in. They hid in the back of the washer until the door closed. Then they started talking, wondering if they would get as clean as in a bathtub. The father put the quarters in the machine and started it up.
The ghirl ghosts were excited, they had never washed themselves in a washing machine before. They were looking forward to all the nice hot soapy water sloshing all around. But that was not what they got. What they got was cold water. Very cold water. The father was about to set it to hot when the daughter reminded him that the load was all delicates and had to be washed on cold. The ghirl ghosts were not happy. They also had not really looked close at what a front loading washing machine does. They thought they would be jiggled back and forth a little bit. But instead they were tumbled. A lot. They got very very dizzy and cold and were not having fun.
Sharita looked out the window of the washing machine and saw the daughter pointing into the window and looking at her father. Sharita could barely hear her above the bubbly din of the machine. She thought she heard her say, “Look Daddy, there are a whole bunch of ghosts in the machine!”
The father peered in and said, “That’s funny I can’t see them. What do they look like?”
The daughter said, “You can’t see them? They are right there!” By this time all the ghirl ghosts were looking out the window staring at her.
They all started to yell and scream that they were cold and dizzy and wanted the machine to stop. The daughter looked at the dad and said, “Daddy, I can here them, they are cold and dizzy and want us to stop the machine so they can get out!”
The father responded, “Well, I guess we better do that then.” and stopped the machine, opened the door and said, “Ok, ghosts come on out, you are free!”
The ghosts all said “THANK YOU!” very load and flew out of the machine. The daughter told her father, “Did you hear that? They said thank you!”
The father said, “Well, I am sure they are thankful, I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a cold washing machine, would you?”
“NO!” said the daughter as they started the machine back up.
The 13 Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts immediately flew out into the street and back to their hotel, which by that time had fixed the hot water heater. They went from bathroom to bathroom taking warm bubble baths the rest of the day. Greta especially had a very fun time!
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, who once had a birthday present hidden in a washing machine when he was nine. It was a sleeping bag.
I want your opinion on this. What do you think of these two elements, a woman sometimes not wanting to admit her age and a man often not acting his? Is it as gender based as the quote states? Are you the opposite, a woman who doesn’t act her age or a man who lies about his? How did that come about? Think about it, read my take on it, and let me know what your take on it is, ok?
My Age Confession
I find myself sometimes not wanting to admit my age, which is 58 as of 2013. Then other times I take great pride in it. Sometimes it’s due to the audience. If I am talking to the runners I coach I readily admit my age because I want them to see that age is not an excuse to not be fit. But if I am talking to professionals in my arena of business I sometimes think twice because I worry that they might see me as too old to participate in a discussion about parenting for example, or a panel about social media, since, given my age, I might be out of the loop on those things.
But the truth is I have set it up so I couldn’t hide my age if I wanted. My birthday is out in the world, when the moment arrives for me to divulge my age I do so with minimal hesitation, even if I do have a bit of worry. It takes one more thing out of my ‘worry equations’ early on and I can get on with the business at hand. What happens happens.
The First Lie
I wrote that confession above so you would know I am not thinking it is only women who don’t like to admit their age at times. But it is true that overall I find women are much more likely to hesitate about saying their age. Why is that and does it really matter? I think it matters a bit. I would like to think I have an honest enough relationship with whatever woman I am talking to that if the matter of her, or my, age comes up we would just say it and move on. But, while I would prefer to know the truth, it isn’t, in most cases, a crucial element in the relationship.
The Second Lie
But what about men? A woman might say she is 45 and actually be 50. But a man who IS 45 but acts 20 is inflicting a far more grievous offense on whoever he is relating to. Why is that? Because he looks 45 and can pretend to be emotionally or developmentally 45, but in truth he is acting. His true age, his true development, was stunted at age 20 and over time he is going to act 20 quite often.
Buyer Beware
What does that mean? It means ‘buyer beware’. This sounds terrible crude and cruel to put the onus on the woman to find out a man’s true emotional and developmental age, but it is the truth. A woman has to be in a relationship long enough and with a clear enough mind to be able to discern who is this guy, really? Not what does he look like, or what job he holds, but what age does he act? If a woman wants a baby who she needs to clean up after, who is constantly making a mess of his own life and the lives of those he should be watching over, then she should choose one of those developmentally stunted men. But how many women REALLY want that man? Not many.
The Triple Play Trap
So why do so many women end up with those men? I think it’s because they are either thinking all men are like that, they think it’s part of the devil’s bargain they have to make to be ‘taken care of’ or they think the man will change once they are married. None of those reasons are very good ones if you ask me.
The Questions Revisited
Once again, here are my questions to you: What do you think of these two elements, a woman sometimes not wanting to admit her age and a man often not acting his? Is it as gender based as the quote states? Are you the opposite, a woman who doesn’t act her age or a man who lies about his? How did that come about?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who once lied about his height by one inch and got busted on a first date.
Don’t act like you didn’t know day #4 of Happy Born Day week wasn’t upon you!
Born
We are born and our parents instinctively know we are like them in many ways, even as a crinkly naked newborn. But we don’t know that. We spend our youth discovering we are individuals. We grow into young adults striving to create our own identity. We spend our 20s promising ourselves we will not be like our parents in many ways.
Born Again
Then we turn 30, or maybe it’s some other age, but there is that moment when you realize you are your parents. Slightly modified, slightly mutated, slightly taller, slightly smarter, slightly healthier. But even with all those slightlies you realize you so essentially consist of who they are that to try to deny it is futile.
Born Again Again
And then something more dramatic happens. You realize once again that you aren’t your parents. You have them in you, but you aren’t them. You can decide to not drink so much. You can decide to be a better parent, or make more money, or be out in nature more. You can decide to be like them or not, depending on if you like who they are or not. You are not gripped by the genome as tight as you might think. You can retain, discard, expand, modify. It’s within your control. Keep the best, get rid of the rest.
Born
And all the while you are going through that process, your kids are repeating it in front of your eyes. Life happens that way.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who is the son of Skeets and Lee Coleman.
Quote by Blair Sabol, a very interesting character – Read up on her.
Blair Sabol by Wayne Thiebaud – Oil on canvas – 1965
Any way you slice it, today is day #2 of Happy Born Day week!
Vicious vs Kind
We in the western developed world are not usually reminded so viciously of death as they are where disease and war ravage nations with impunity.
We are lucky in that birthdays are the kindest way of setting in front of us our own march to mortality, that we will die.
Depression vs Cake
Sound depressing? Yes and no. Yes, we will die and that thought can be a bummer. But then again no, because it also tells us that while we are alive we should eat the dang cake already! The cake may be a real cake, but it can also be a metaphorical cake.
Eat from life, take a hold of what you want, or stretch out your hand and reach for it until you can take hold. It won’t always be there, YOU won’t always be there. Don’t wait.
Quote by Jo Brand, 1957 – not dead yet, English comedian
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Physiology question from yesterday answered
Question: How many years does it take for your body to create an entirely new skeleton?
Answer: It takes 7 years for a whole new set of cells to replace the prior set of cells that make up your skeleton.
Geography question from yesterday answered
Question: What country has the longest living humans, on average (life expectancy)?
Answer: the Principality of Monaco in Europe. The average age people live to is 89 years. The second highest average is found in the island nation of Macau, where the average is 84 years.
Have you ever met someone you felt was never young? They are the ones who have always been old looking, acting, thinking and/or doing? I have. Most people who seem to be old before their time were probably young once. They probably played in the mud, built forts out of cushions and tried to get around the entire house without touching the floor because it was lava.
These Kids Today
But you would never know it from looking at or hearing them speak now. What do they look like now? They look like someone so contained, so prim and proper, that you can’t imagine them without a business suit on, or without a scowl on their face. They are concerned with everything being seen as perfect; nothing garish or loud or too funny or possibly controversial. They won’t like anything that culturally came after they were about 15 years old. They won’t approve of the youth today, even if they are among the youth of today. They will put great emphasis on doing the right thing, and the right thing will always be something that rocks no boats and ruffles no feathers. Nothing should stand out and if it does they will make sure the world knows it is not approved of.
It’s not the gradual aging that brings wisdom, love and an ironic smile about how life is. It’s the premature aging that comes from judgment, fear and moral self-righteousness. It’s ugly and depressing to see. It’s bad enough to be around a person like that, it must be torture to actually be someone like that.
Remembering Forward
Do you want to avoid that? Then remember back and remember forward. Remember back to your youth. The world did not collapse when you acted like a 10 year old. Why? because you WERE a 10 year old and that was ok. Many of the things a 10 year old did had nothing to do with right and wrong, it had to do with joy. Joy in discovery, make believe, humor, laughter and silliness. And then remember forward to right before your death and let’s pretend that moment is right now. What will you regret? Laughing and playing and being silly with your friends? I doubt it. I bet you will regret NOT doing those things when you had the chance.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who acts younger than he is and is proud of it.
Quote by Satchel Paige, who pitched in Major League Baseball until he was in his 60s (or so they say, he never really did know his exact birthday).
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Physiology Question of the Day
How many years does it take for your body to create an entirely new skeleton?
Geography Question of the Day
What country has the longest living humans on average?
Last we saw the Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts they were either getting electrocuted by a fence or trying on hats. This is what happened to the hat tryer oners.
The Irish Pub
While 7 of the Ghirl Ghosts stayed behind at the dairy, trying to milk cows then getting electrocuted, the other 7 had gone hat shopping back in town. They had all ended up crying about the hats and and the saleswoman being lonely. They invited the saleswoman out for a drink and they all went to the local Irish pub where they found two from the other group floating around.
The pub was Irish because it was owned by a Irishman who had come to visit his sister in America 10 years ago but couldn’t get on his flight home because his name was on the terrorist watch list. His name was Laddie O’Sama. He tried to tell the airport people he wasn’t THAT O’Sama but they didn’t believe him because he had a beard and talked with a funny accent. He stayed with his sister and eventually gave up trying to go home. He got a job being Irish in a Irish pub that had no Irishman in it and eventually inherited the pub from the Bulgarian lady who owned it and thought of him as a son. Except she always want to have sex with him. Which he did only once.
Kissing Crazy
The ghirl ghosts and the hat sales lady went to the pub and had many drinks. Even though they have no bodies, bodyless ghirl ghosts can get drunk because the alcohol circles around in their brain before it spills on the floor. The sales lady got drunk and kissed Greta, the sexy ghirl ghost. Greta was drunk and kissed her back and all the other ghirl ghosts gasped because they hadn’t realized they could kiss people who weren’t dead and had bodies. They thought they could only kiss each other, which they did once in a while when they were bored.
Once they saw that they could kiss anyone they went kissing crazy. Penelope, the Ghirl Ghost leader, kissed 4 men sitting at a table watching bowling on TV. They all said her lips were like marshmallows, which was not surprising since ghirl ghosts are like marshmallows everywhere, not just their lips. All the other ghirl ghosts watched her kissing to see how to do it with real people then Sharita kissed the bartender, Ethel kissed the dishwasher and Betty kissed 3 girls who all had on red lipstick, which got all over her lips and cheeks.
What They Saw in the Alley
Pretty soon they were all kissed out and ready to go back to the hotel. They looked around and didn’t see the saleslady, who they wanted to say goodbye to. They also didn’t see the bartender anywhere. They wanted to leave out the back door, but they needed someone to open it for them since they don’t have hands. They got the dishwasher to do it and they each gave him a bit fat marshmallow kiss as they went out the door. He had never been kissed in his whole life so he was very happy as he scrubbed pots the rest of the night.
The back door led to a back alley. As they came out the little alcove into the alley they were stopped in their tracks. Well, they don’t really make tracks since they have no feet, but they were stopped anyway. Before them they saw the the saleslady and the bartender kissing! Not only that but they were doing things besides kissing with parts that the bodyless ghirl ghosts didn’t have. The ghirl ghosts stared for a long time saying nothing because ghirl ghosts like to watch, which is understandable considering they can’t do much besides watching and floating around.
Temptation
Penelope whispered, “That’s enough watching, let’s leave them alone.” Sharita said, “Can’t we wait to see if she…” “NO”, said Penelope, “That will just make it harder to go to sleep.” Then all the ghirl ghosts floated silently passed the two lovers and went back to the hotel where they watched an Infomercial about acne medicine before floating off to slumber land.
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To read more of their adventures go to the ‘Bodyless Ghosts’ series in the drop down menu in the sidebar.
Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, who has never tried to kiss a marshmallow.
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Literary Question from two days ago answered
Question: “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen” is the first line of what novel?
Answer: ‘1984’ by George Orwell, published in 1949.
It’s a compliment just to be nominated for Best Napkin Drawing of Day #4 of Compliment Week!
Compliments – The Love Hate Tango
I started this series because I had a conversation with a friend in which she said she didn’t know how to take compliments very well. She thought she was alone in that regard and I assured her that is not true, that a LOT if not most people, especially women, are not at all comfortable or believing of compliments given to them.
While I started to look for quotes and ideas relating to compliments I did indeed come across many who were also not comfortable with praise and compliments. But I also came across many who love compliments, live for them, get sustenance from them and continually hope for them. Mark Twain was one and this quote is an example. It seems egotistical but I think he meant it tongue in cheek, a self-deprecating comment about his own ego.
The Compliment Pool
But there is another way to take this quote. Perhaps it can be interpreted not as wanting more ego stroking, but wanting more specificity. The woman in my drawing is saying ‘nice font’ while reading a profound book. She is staying shallow and superfluous. noticing just the surface, when there is a whole world of depth she has completely ignored.
The Deep End
What about you? When you give a compliment, do you really say what you truly admire, or do you say something generic and forgettable? If you want your compliments to have more power the focus in on more than ‘You are handsome’ or ‘nice work’. Dig down a bit and see if you can’t be more specific. Why is he handsome? How about ‘You have a great jaw line.’ Why was her work nice? Can you say ‘You did a fantastic job negotiating with that client.’ instead?
I can imagine Mark Twain meaning it that way. Perhaps he wanted a compliment that dug down a bit deeper, that reflected a deeper understanding on the part of the person giving the compliment.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mark Twain, whom I compliment on his vast array of quotes about compliments.
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Compliment of the Week
Judge Nicki Minaj’s compliment to American Idol contestant Tenna Torres (wearing the outfit below) – “I like your hair, I like your boobs, too.”
I know I am making you happy when I compliment your arrival at day #3 of Compliments Week!
The Visual Compliment
Imagine a compliment being something you could visually see, that as it came out of your mouth it became something real, floating over to the person it was directed at. What would your compliments turn into? Would it be a bright, garish sticker slapped on a woman’s breasts saying ‘NICE RACK’ or a man’s posterior saying, ‘NICE ASS? Would it be a generic puff of cotton that whispered, ‘I guess you look nice’ as it blew away and was forgotten? Maybe it would be a swirl of glitter that said, ‘oh shiny!’ as it landed on a diamond ring.
The Happiness Blanket
But maybe your compliment can come out as a happiness blanket. It would cover the whole person, no matter what specific compliment you are giving. And guess what? If you deliberately endeavor in advance to make your compliment, whatever it is, a warm blanket of love, given freely and with joy, then you will be happy. If you are happy in giving a compliment there is a much greater chance the recipient will also feel some level of happiness.
Give that compliment today.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman, who always compliments freckles, which are a like a blanket of happiness in and of themselves.
