by Marty Coleman | Sep 20, 2012 | Judgment - 2013 |
Raising Kids and Others
One of the big elements of raising healthy kids and helping others grow up into adulthood is to help them understand the true nature of judgment. Kids learn about judgment early on. After all, school is actually more about judgment and placing people in slots of acceptability than it is about formal education.
Consider the Source
I mentioned a number of months ago that my ex-father in law, Dwight Johnson, passed away. I went to the memorial service and spoke briefly at the reception about what he meant to me. One of my favorite lines he used to say was, ‘I just consider the source.’ He was usually referring to me having said some sarcastic remark at his expense. It was his way of saying, ‘Marty’s judgment says way more about him than it does about me so I don’t worry about it.’ He was a wise man.
Are You Vulnerable?
I have a friend who is very, very modest. She is working through why that is, and basically it comes down to feeling vulnerable. Now, my definition of vulnerable is about being at a high risk of something bad happening. She feels that the bad thing that might happen is that someone might say something negative about her body. And the truth is, there is that risk. She is sensitive and it hurts when it happens, whether the person is a jerk commenting on her appearance or figure, or an innocent family member who isn’t even old enough to know how to hurt someone on purpose saying something funny in her bedroom as she changes into her work clothes. So, how does she overcome that? I would tell her to contemplate the napkin quote. Is the comment exposing something about the person saying it, not the person it is directed to? The first person can be blown off as a jerk, easy enough. The second person’s comment, while not being blown off in the same way, can be at least understood as not being purposely hurtful. And think about it, aren’t most judgments coming from one or the other, either a jerk meaning harm or an innocent meaning no harm? If that is the case, then the only ones you really need to worry about are the judgments in between.
The Judgments in Between
What judgments are in between? What judgments are left? Maybe ones you can contemplate and decide for yourself if you agree with them. For example, someone says, ‘That hairstyle makes your face look long.’ Consider it. Does it? Do you mind that it does? Do you see something you hadn’t realized before and maybe agree with? No, you don’t? Then easy enough, you disregard the judgment/comment and go on your way. You do agree? Then easy enough, next time you change your hairstyle you consider styles that don’t make your face look long. In other words, it really becomes your own judgment, your own observation. It’s no longer seen as something hurtful or mean or anything like that. It’s just an observation, neutral in judgment, that you can consider as if it were your own observation.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 19, 2012 | Art, Censorship - 2012 |
I am going to sell you on the fact that today is #5 in my censorship series.
Back Door Censorship
I love when a quote gets me thinking about something in a completely new way. I had not really considered that creating a market for some things but not others, based on moral judgment, is a back door method of censorship. It’s really not about whether something can sell or not, it’s much more about the powers that be building a market world that only allows certain types of images, books, films, dance, songs, to be distributed and sold.
Here ye, Here ye, Judge Money Presiding
Think about the Ratings Board for Film in the US. What is that but a censorship bureau? I am not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, but that it is a construction meant to limit the commercial viability of products they deem as ‘too much’ in one way or another. The stated goal of the Ratings Board is to help society know what they are about to see, whether it is appropriate or not. But it also is guaranteeing that any film rated NC-17 will not be distributed widely at all, thus making it’s commercial viability minimal. That isn’t just a by-product of the Ratings Board, it’s one of the main functions of the ratings board, albeit not publicly stated.
Profit within the non-profit
How does a non-profit organization, like a museum deal with this idea? They can’t say the paintings won’t sell, since they aren’t selling anything. But they can say the artwork won’t bring in people to the museum, that it will cause a controversy, that it will offend people, and the result of that? The museum will lose what? Money, that’s what. Now, most museums I have been to make some pretty courageous choices about exhibitions. But they also reject exhibitions because they are not ‘commercially viable’ for their institution, even though their institution is supposedly not commercial.
Basically, behind it all, and around it all, I think the power of money is a huge censorship device. What do you think of this idea?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by David Mamet, American playright
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 18, 2012 | Anonymous, Censorship - 2012 |
The Dividing Line between Reasons and Rationalizations
Where is the censorship line drawn? Kate Middleton, Britain’s Princess of Cambridge, is photographed with her bare breasts showing while sunning one a private balcony one half mile from the nearest road in the south of France.
How does a person rationalize taking the photos and selling them for what we have to assume is millions of dollars? The photographer says, ‘I could see her through my lens so she obviously was not in a private situation.’ What about the idea that she doesn’t want photographs of her breasts to be shown to anyone, much less published and seen by millions of people. Does that count for anything, does that matter? Obviously it isn’t a persuasive argument to the photographer, to the agent selling the photos, to the publisher purchasing the photos or to the editor and writer arranging and captioning the photos. They know she doesn’t want those photos taken or distributed. So, what is their rationalization? They might say, ‘Well, if she didn’t want her breasts shown she shouldn’t have shown them’ What do you think of that argument? Did she show them to the world when she exposed them to the sun and air on that secluded patio? Was it her fault?
Everyday Modesty and the Mundane
A friend of mine here in Tulsa, a news anchor, is an extremely modest woman. She is livid that anyone would do this and that laws allow it in certain countries. She said she would die of photos like that of her were exposed. She says it is a private, intimate moment, not one to be shared. What do you think? Is being nude in and of itself an intimate state of being, no matter where you are and what you are doing?
Others I know say it is just no big deal. It’s not a scandal, it’s not a moral failing on her part, it’s not a embarrassment. It’s just a woman sunning topless in private. Big deal. She isn’t in flagrante delicto, she isn’t doing anything outlandish. She is doing something incredibly mundane and pretty boring. Laying down and sunbathing, hardly the most arousing of activities whether topless, bottomless or both. Her boobs are shown, alright already. Done. Next.
Blame
What do you think of this whole situation? Is it ok or not that the photos were taken, sold and distributed? Who is to blame for it happening? Does Princess Kate hold any blame?
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 17, 2012 | Censorship - 2012 |
I think it is appropriate that it is Censorship series #3
Disapproving but Indulging
Being a photographer who often photographs women I have made a habit of checking those who favorite or comment on my photographs on Flickr, where I show them for the most part. My rule is that if the person has a well balanced range of photographs, either their own or those they favorite, then I will not do anything. But if I find they have photos only of one type, primarily pornographic or fetishistic, then I will block them from seeing more of my work.
But what that means of course is I have to go look at their site and their favorites. And that in turn means I see those pornographic and fetishistic photos. And the truth? I can be hypocritical about it. I see immediately that I am going to block this person, but I also sometimes spend more time looking than I need to. Why do I do that? Because the images are exciting to look at, duh.
The Company You Keep
What is the alternative? Here are the questions I have thought through. If I believe my art and photography is not pornographic and is worth looking at, then maybe it doesn’t matter who favorites it. They might favorite some cheesy sex kitten porn image that I think is pretty trashy, but if mine is next to it, doesn’t mine shine through? Or is mine diminished due to the company it keeps? And the other question is if I allow my image to be in a gallery of images I find offensive, then aren’t I approving of those other images? Aren’t I telling my viewers that it’s ok if they follow threads and go to that other site?
50 Shades of Appropriateness
That is where I draw the line. If someone sees my image and collects it somehow, along with images I don’t like, but they keep it to themselves, there isn’t much I can do about it. But if they are going to put it for public view then I am going to censor it if I find its surroundings offensive. This might be similar to the written word, let’s say, 50 Shades of Grey, which is now a very popular book. We have a copy of it (given to me by my wife, as of yet unread) and it is on my nightstand. We live alone and all our daughters are grown women now. As a matter of fact we know one of them has read it. But I wouldn’t have it on the nightstand if they were still living at home and were teenagers or younger. I would censor myself so that what I had in public was appropriate for those who might see it. It isn’t a matter of approval, it’s a matter of appropriateness. if, upon reading it, whether I am aroused by it or not, if I find it bad, trashy, mean-spirited, or otherwise lacking, I will get rid of it because I won’t want it infecting my bookshelf. I will let you know what I decide in a later post.
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote by Edward Anthony, 1895-1971, American writer
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 14, 2012 | Censorship - 2012, Henry Steele Commager |
Don’t tell me I can’t make today day #2 of my Censorship series.
"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purposes, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion."
Going Berzerk
The recent events regarding the anti-muslim film, the riots in the middle east, and our American conflict between first amendment principles, common sense and common decency have got me thinking, How and why do we censor ourselves? The reason I ask is that self-censorship really is the the art of exercising real discretion in life and it is quite important to becoming a mature adult.
Some live in a rule bound society where they have very little freedom of expression. As a result they don’t have much reason to learn self-censorship and self-discretion. When those rules are changed or abandoned, or they move to another land with less rules, it can be very hard for the person to stay within any bounds, since none of the restrictions they had before were necessarily theirs. They were put on from the outside. I am not saying everyone in a rule bound society goes berzerk with freedom when the rules are lifted, but there can be that danger.
Figure Drawing
Last night I did something I haven’t done in many, many years. I went to an open figure drawing session. What that means is you aren’t in a class being instructed, you are just being given access to a studio and a model in a group setting so you can draw as you please. I don’t think I have gone to an actual figure drawing session since before I moved to Tulsa in 1994. I have drawn from the figure here and there, but not in a group studio setting. It was great fun and very energizing and challenging for me. It engaged me in a very rigorous and serious period of time of seeing, evaluating, drawing and creating.
I decided since I was thinking a lot about censorship yesterday that I would do something different in my drawings. I decided I would censor myself and see what I could come up with. There were 2 twenty minute poses where I was able to arrange myself so that there were objects in between the model and me. I worked it out so I could see that she was nude but that she was also obscured in the areas most people see as most private. Then I started drawing. What I love about those sorts of challenges I give myself is that I almost always end up with something more original, unexpected and visually compelling that if I had not given myself the challenge.
Self-censorship #1
These were drawn at Philbrook Museum of Art, Tulsa, OK
Self-censorship #2
It was an added bonus that I learned after the class that the model was a friend of 2 of my daughters from their time in Tulsa. We had a good conversation in particular about one of them. I was very happy I went for the drawing and the new insight she gave about my daughter.
What do you think of these drawings and what are your thoughts on censorship in general?
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Drawings and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Henry Steele Commager, 1902-1998, American historian
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 13, 2012 | Mark Twain, Naked vs Nude - 2012 |
Nipplegate
The New Yorker posted a funny cartoon online this week. It was taken off Facebook by its censors because it violated the terms of service. The violation was that it showed ‘nipple bulge’. In truth it showed a cartoon Adam and Eve sitting down leaning against a tree. They were naked, as you might expect. The drawing had 2 small ink dashes for Adam’s nipples. Those weren’t violations. Then they had 2 ink dots for Eve’s nipples. Those were violations of the ban on ‘nipple bulge’ (their words, not mine).
Here are the offending and non-offending marks.
- Not Offensive
- Offensive
It is the height of absurdity and The New Yorker wrote their own blog post about it that I think you would get a kick out of.
NIPPLEGATE
Then FB reversed it’s decision and decided to allow the cartoon. The New Yorker however did not trust them and so posted an even more inflammatory and provocative cartoon. You can see it if you dare.
NIPPLEGATE – The Exciting Conclusion
I meanwhile, in support of The New Yorker, have posted my own offending marks. They are behind the tree in the drawing above.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mark Twain
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 11, 2012 | American, Heroes - 2012, New York City |
9/11
In Memoriam
Total dead: too many
Total injured: too many
Total relatives and friends of the dead and injured: too many
Total military dead in subsequent wars: too many
Total military injured in subsequent wars: too many
Total relatives and friends of the war dead and injured: too many
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by Marty Coleman | Sep 7, 2012 | Naked vs Nude - 2012 |
Is It What It Is?
Do you investigate what you are afraid of? Do you purposely move towards it to find out what it is really all about? Read the story below for a great example.
The Naked Waitress and the Cop
Back in the 80s and 90s I taught beginning drawing and figure drawing at various community colleges around San Jose, California. I also was a waiter and manager at a local restaurant there named Eulipia. I asked a fellow waiter if she would want to model for pay for my figure drawing class and she said yes. The class went off without a hitch. A year later I asked her again and she said she wanted to but now had a boyfriend. The boyfriend happened to be a cop. He didn’t know about the modeling from the year before so she wanted to talk to him about it first. She came back a few days later and said she had talked to him and he was fine with it. A week later though she said he had kept asking questions, had said some not so subtle jabs about what he thought she really was doing. She was worried about it which made me worried about it because I needed to make sure I had a model for the class that day. She assured me she would do it regardless of what he said. Great.
The day arrived and we were going to meet where we worked and drive together to the school. When I got there though, she was with her boyfriend and it looked a bit tense. She told me he wanted to talk to me. Great.
He came over and said, ‘I wondered if it is ok if I come along to the drawing class.’
This is not what I was expecting. A jealous, judgmental cop boyfriend watching his new girlfriend disrobe in front of a bunch of people and just stand there naked. I had visions of headlines the next day saying ‘art instructor killed by off duty cop in fit of jealous rage’. Great.
But he then said, ‘I long ago decided that anything I didn’t understand or feared I would face head on and seek to understand it. I want to come to see what really happens in a figure drawing class. She has told me what happens but I still have visions of something bad and dirty. I want to face that and see what it really is.’
How could I argue with that, right? I told him he could come along but he had to stay in the back of the class and not interfere. I told her she had to focus and not be distracted or intimidated by him being there. She understood and he was cool with that so off we went to the class.
The Naked Fear
The class was held at Mission College in Santa Clara. It was a HUGE spaceship style building that screamed intimidation and bulk as you drove up to it. I was sort of feeling that way about this new twist to my simple desire to get a model for my drawing class. Now I had a very bulky and intimidating cop/boyfriend about to sit in on my figure drawing class with his girlfriend as the singular object of close to 30 sets of eyes. Great.
The way it works in a figure drawing class is that the stage is a simple raised platform in the middle of the room. The students sit on benches around the platform and draw from all angles. The model has a place to change and comes out in a robe. He or she get on the platform, takes the robe off and starts to hit various poses. The students have already been instructed as to what they will be doing and they start in on it. We start with very quick poses and move on to longer ones. I call out the time and tell the model to change poses. The first pose might be as short as 20 seconds but most will be 1-5 minutes long for the first session. There will be a break then longer poses, up to 20 minutes towards the end. He or she might be sitting, laying down, standing, stretching, balled up, tense and muscular, draped and sleep-like. I had Katherine go through the poses, never looking over at her boyfriend. She also never got distracted, doing what I asked and being a great model for my students.
The Naked Revelation
When we took our first break Katherine got on her robe and the two of us went over to talk to her boyfriend. Much to my relief he said, ‘I completely get what is going on. It is exactly as she said it would be. I was imagining sexual poses, lascivious ogling but what I saw was a very focused and intense art moment. I am so glad you allowed me to come, I am not at all worried about it now.’ What he saw were the students intense in their work, me busy instructing, reminding & encouraging, and Katherine being deliberate in finding the perfect pose, adjusting if needed and staying as still as possible. What he saw was all of us working very hard.
He was not able to see that in advance. But because he had the guts to face his fear he was able to put the fear aside and see things for what they really were.
What worlds do you fear and don’t understand? What steps are you taking to find out what it’s really all about?
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman
Inspired by a suggestion of Andrea Myers to address the topic of facing your fears. Thanks Andrea!
Andrea Myers
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 31, 2012 | Social Media - 2013 |
I, Sloth
I do this too much. One of my biggest struggles is distracting myself from the task at hand with busy work, or pseudo work. In March I had a breakthrough in what I focused on and pay attention to and where my mind and heart are at as I go about my daily workday. And I have kept with that breakthrough so far. But I have found I still get busy wasting time and I believe it hinders a number of efforts I am making in my life and career. So, I am making progress, but wish I was making it faster.
Stephen Covey, in his book ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ has what he calls the ‘Time Management Matrix’. Here it is. It’s helped me in the past. I still have a card with it on it, that sits on my workdesk.
If you haven’t ever read Covey’s book, I highly recommend it. You can find it at any bookstore, library and probably most of your friends’ houses. Ask, I bet they will let you borrow it. Quadrant II is where I need to spend more time. I am relatively good at the relationship building and learning/developing but I tend to get excited about new things and forget about the things already in the pipeline. I also tend to procrastinate when it comes to planning.
What I am committing myself to is be more diligent and focused on that quadrant. What quadrant causes you issues and what are you doing about it?
In the meanwhile, you should go to Sid Savara’s blog posting that discusses this same thing. It’s funny with cartoon illustrations but still gets the seriousness of the ideas across.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Cole…oh look, a sloth!
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 29, 2012 | Cheri Erdman, Family History, Perfectionism - 2012 |
Today we have a model image.
What does a model look like?
Did you know that most models don’t look like models? Yes, they have certain base features that most models have; a certain figure proportion, a certain bone structure. But models don’t look like models. They look like young women, and in most cases, average looking young women. Models start looking like models when they prepare for a shoot. The makeup artist, the hair stylist, the art director, the photographer, the photographer’s assistant, the editorial assistant, the advertising agency rep, the advertiser’s rep all play a part in creating the image you see in a magazine. The model is in the mix, contributing, but it is not her you end up seeing. It’s a photograph, an image, that you see.
Crush
I should know this since I am a photographer but I always forget and have to be reminded. That is because I have also been a fan and follower of a number of models and photographers for decades. I get seduced into the beautiful image just like anyone else.
In college I had my first major model crush. It was the model, Lisa Taylor. She was a well known model in the 70s and 80s. She was a favorite model for the fashion photographer Helmut Newton, whose work I loved. She also happened to be in one of the all time iconic images from the 70s.
Lisa Taylor wearing Calvin Klein by Helmut Newton
Confession
I had a copy of this Harper’s Bazaar magazine with Ms. Taylor on the cover hidden under my mattress in college.
June, 1977
I had it hidden not because it was pornographic obviously but because it would have been even MORE embarrassing for my roommates to find it than if I had had a Playboy or other men’s magazine. This was because I had a major crush on a girl at school who I thought looked just like Taylor. I thought they would know right away if they saw the magazine cover. One day us guys, hard to believe I know, were actually cleaning our rooms and we all decided to flip our mattresses over as we had been taught growing up. Well, you can guess what happened. They saw the magazine and had a really really big laugh at my expense. I turned bright red from embarrassment as you can imagine. Just as I thought, they immediately saw the resemblance between the model on the cover and the girl I had a crush on. They didn’t threaten to expose me because they said everyone already knew I had a crush on her. Oops. So much for that secret.
Reality
The truth is the real woman I had a crush on wasn’t perfect like the photograph of Lisa. She didn’t think she was beautiful (and still doesn’t). She had issues with her father, she easily felt guilty about many things. But she was also energetic, enthusiastic, funny and principled. And it turns out she had a bit of a crush on me. We always stayed platonic (well ok, we had one brief kiss) but we had a very emotional time of it during that year. She ended up marrying a great guy (who she was dating during our crush). We are still connected and good friends. She is still herself, positive and negative. But she is wiser, happier and more real inside and out than she ever was way back when.
Taylor Now
In 2009 Timothy Greenfield-Sanders did a project for Vogue Magazine. He took photographs of former models from the 70s and 80s. This photograph of Taylor was included in the project and the resulting exhibition in 2011.
Lisa Taylor – © Timothy Greenfield-Sanders
Truth
I love taking photographs and I love visual images, but seeing this photo and thinking about my ‘crush’ reminds me once again that whether it is age, style, Photoshop or something else, the image is not the model. The model is a living, breathing person, better and more real than any image.
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Drawing and story by Marty Coleman, who is beet red right now.
Quote by Cheri Erdman
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The models we see in magazines wish they looked like their own images
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