by Marty Coleman | Aug 7, 2014 | Laughter - 2014, Victor Borge |
It’s cracking me up that today is day #2 of the Laughter Series!
The Great Dissolve
I have a lot of friends here in Tulsa and around the country who are conservative Republicans. I am not. Sometimes on Facebook or elsewhere we can get in some pretty intense debates about stuff.
But when we get together (online or in person) and something funny is said or happens, our political affiliation immediately disappears and we just laugh. That is a good thing.
I also have friends in other countries with widely differing understandings of the world. But when something is funny between us, it’s funny there in South Africa, Russia, Korea, Australia, Slovakia, Mexico, Canada, Indonesia, India, and Norway.
Wars aren’t started by people having fun and laughing in a positive way. Laughing is good.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Victor Borge, 1909 – 2000, Danish musician and comedian. He was a favorite of my parents and was one of the funniest people I ever saw or heard.
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 6, 2014 | Anonymous, Laughter - 2014 |
Laugh all you want, but today is day #1 of the Laughter series.
Men, I Tell Ya
I recently became more active in a Dad Blogger’s Facebook group. One thing I noticed was how much ribbing goes on there. It’s not that men aren’t asking or talking about serious questions, or that they aren’t opening up about sensitive things, they are. And there are plenty of answers and discussions that are equally serious, sensitive and helpful. Guys are surprisingly vulnerable there, mostly because they know they will be heard and not condemned as they might in another venue. But they also know that within all the sensitivity and helpfulness there is going to be some serious making fun of them. There will be some ‘what a wimp’ or ‘Man, your wife is one unlucky woman’ type statements. The men who put themselves out there and get those sorts of responses understand that within this group, cracking a joke, especially at their expense, is an essential part of the bonding and fun between everyone. It can go on and on and on for days.
The One Liner
BUT, right along side this ribbing are some truly sensitive, helpful, vulnerable and positive responses, from the same men who are doing the ribbing. This can happen while the group rallies to raise money for one of the guys with cancer. This happens when one of the guys is blindsided by a wife asking for a divorce. Truly terrible and heart rending situations that the men take seriously. But they also know a good one liner when they hear one and will often insert it because, well, how could you waste a perfectly good one liner just because a guy is getting a divorce, right? The truth is that guy getting a divorce, the one devastated and demolished? He understands that and, from what I have seen so far, truly appreciates the camaraderie and brotherhood exhibited by the joking. He knows the deep care that is there and that makes the joke (even a lame one) something that draws them closer, not farther, from each other.
Women Being Made Fun Of
This group pretty much backs up a belief I have. Men, in my experience, can take a joke better than most women. Men get ribbed more and understand in advance that it is not likely that the ribbing is serious. Even if it is serious, they know best way to respond is to laugh it off and allow others to laugh at your expense. Women, more sensitive in general (in my opinion), and less likely to have been around a world where making fun of someone is done with affection, are hurt by this sort of ribbing. They take it personally and feel unloved and uncared for when it happens.
Danger
Having said that, when someone does not take ribbing or being made fun of well, it will likely be a man who overreacts and does something seriously stupid and/or dangerous. A woman might get depressed about it all but a man can, and too often does, get angry and violent. Their ego and pride has been bruised, they want revenge, they want to get even. I am not saying women never have that reaction, just that it’s more likely that men will react that way. This is the downside of the male being made fun of.
This dilemma is illustrated by another napkin drawing I did a number of months ago. Click in the napkin to go to that blog post.
The Key
The key in my mind is learn that it’s ok to be made fun of, you will survive it. You will survive it even better if you take it with a grain of salt and let it go.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote (first napkin) is Anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 4, 2014 | The Napkin Islands |
Map #1
I refilled some markers yesterday and made a mess. I cleaned it up with a napkin. Just as back in 2012-2013 when I did my ‘Bodyless Ghirl Ghosts’ series using napkins I tested my markers on, I thought this time I would makes something of the mess. The result is map #1 of ‘The Napkin Islands’.
This overview map has the big islands, seas, oceans and some other elements named. When I focus in on one area I will start naming the smaller passages and water features.
Where is your island? What’s it’s name?
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Here is what it looked like before I started.
And this is what it looked like a little while later.
Are you wondering where all the volcanos came from in the final image? Like I mentioned, I refilled a number of markers. When I uncapped the red one to use it this morning it was so wet and full that it splattered all over the napkin. I just kept going and made volcanos!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 1, 2014 | Oscar Wilde, Quote Authors |
Finding God’s Will
I once heard a sermon on cassette tape (yes, THAT long ago). One part of that sermon really stuck with me over the years. It was titled, ‘Finding God’s Will’. I was not expecting much. I figured it was going to be the cliche answer I had heard before. But it wasn’t. The answer was to be selfish. Say WHAT? Being selfish? Isn’t that the exact opposite of doing God’s will? Since then I have come to see that the answer is true.
Here’s the idea. God (if you believe in God, if not, then genetics, universe, earth mother, whatever you want) gave you a set of desires. Things you like, things you enjoy, things you want to do. The traditional idea of God’s will visualizes you denying all these things to go do something sacrificial and ‘important’.
Simplicity
But the truth is God (or whatever) didn’t give you your desires and interests just to force you to deny them. They were given to you to use. They are what drives you forward. As simple as it sounds, God’s will is to do whatever you want to do. All that needs to be asked is are you doing something immoral or unethical while pursuing this activity you love. And how do you know if you are or not? Easy enough – Are you inflicting pain or suffering on another, either directly or indirectly? If not, then it’s God’s will.
Behave Yourself!
What does this have to do with the drawing above? The world wants you to behave. It wants you to fit in and do what you are told. Those who have power over you can often want to mold you into who they want you to be. They want you to do what they want you to do not what you want to do. And they might easily tell you that who you want to be is not ok. It’s not good enough, or Godly enough, or important enough. It’s too out there, it’s too frivolous, it’s too degrading, it’s too embarrassing.
Courage
But they don’t get to decide that for you, you get to decide it. Of course you have to have the courage to stand up and say ‘This is what I want to do.’ and do it. Some never get that courage and lead lives others have designed for them, often under the illusion that they are doing God’s will.
What do you think of this idea?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900, Irish author and playwright
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Selfishness is not living your life as you wish. It’s asking others to live their life as you wish.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 31, 2014 | Travel Napkins |
Another day at Starbucks waiting for my car to be fixed.
Jade at Starbucks
My car door handle fell off last week. Very strange. One part actually broke, the other part just became dislodged and I couldn’t put it back in properly. I brought it to the dealer so they could put on the new part I had already ordered and reinstall the handle properly. While the did that I went to Starbucks to have a mocha and draw.
This woman was studying and I took advantage of her stillness to draw her while I had a cherry oat bar and drank my coffee. While I was in the middle of drawing it I posted the picture as part of my ‘Where Am I?’ series I do on social media.
Of course, someone guessed right away that it was Starbucks based on the color of the napkin. Someone else guessed Greece, which would have been nice. Another guessed ‘Night Trips’ which is a ‘Gentlemans Club’ in Tulsa, which would have been interesting.
Later the woman got up to leave and took the opportunity to show her the drawing. She was very excited to have been drawn and took a picture of it. I then took a photo of her holding up the drawing. I introduced myself, gave her my card. I found out her name is Jade.
Jade left and shortly thereafter she friended me on Instagram, posting the photo she took of the drawing. I in turn posted this photo. It turns out she is an artist and the drawing inspired her to start drawing during her cafe moments like she used to. That’s exciting and I hope to see the drawings soon!
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Drawing and photos by Marty Coleman
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