I wonder what a lion actually feels after having failed to capture his or her prey. I wonder if there is regret, or anger, or embarrassment. It’s hard to imagine they have feelings organized intellectually like we do, being able to categorize them. But I don’t doubt they have the feeling we need to have that night or the next morning. They know they need to get up and try again.
A confessional and cautionary tale is needed here. Before I was the Napkin Dad, before I lived in Oklahoma and went into interactive and internet development and design, I was a teacher. I taught drawing, art appreciation, figure drawing, art and design at the community college level at 3 different institutions in Northern California. I was part-time for 9 years. I tried for 8 of those years to land a full-time position. I applied to hundreds of jobs all around the country.
The job with the least amount of applications over that time was in a west Texas town that had a prison as its main employer. They had over 100 applications. The job with the most applications was the University of Virginia, which had over 600 applications for the particular job I applied for. I was a finalist many a time, but never landed the full-time gig.
It took just as much courage for me to decide to give up on that dream and find myself another as it did for me to get up every morning for those 8 years and decide to try again. During the 9th year, instead of applying for teaching positions, I spent the time retraining myself as a commercial artist using computer software. I started applying for educational software design jobs and landed one in 1994. My family and I moved, sight unseen, to Tulsa and I began a new career as an entry-level employee at age 39.
Persistence is important, I believe in it. But wisdom is important too. Wisdom to know when to change direction, when to ask for directions, when to test the wind, test the waters, test yourself. Be wise and persistent.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ – Mary Anne Radmacher, American author
As luck would have it, one of my favorite songs is about luck!
It’s also about the ebb and flow of life, of fortune. You aren’t always on top, you aren’t always at the bottom. Knowing how to live within that ebb and flow, when to row, when to sail, when to seek harbor, when to ask for help, when to see others need help, all those are just as much a part of being successful in life as is money or other, more obvious things.
Check out the lyrics to the song ‘The Bug’ by Mary Chapin Carpenter. Listen to a piece and then download the song from iTunes. It’s on her ‘Come On, Come On’ album, 1992. It’s a great song to run to, by the way.
Aren’t you lucky! It’s a ‘two-quotes-for-the-price-of-one’ luck napkin.
I put these two together on the same napkin because they are the carnal and intellectual sides of the same coin.
I like being older. I like having more wisdom than I used to. I like to think that I am a better person than I used to be. But I also know that that ‘wisdom’ is, in many cases, the stacking up of suitcases full of experiences. They are stacked in such a way that my ‘wisdom’ seems to have come from some far off place, but the reason I can see things as I do is because I have this great view from atop the suitcases.
I also know that that great view can make me think more of myself than I should. I can start to preen and strut that I have such a great view, that I have had such good luck. I start to think I made it all happen. That is the exact thought, if personified, would put the rocks in my path to make me trip.
Once again, humility is key in understanding luck and and living with good fortune.
You know why sports heroes always sound so humble when they win the big game? Because they are well-mannered, that’s why. They know how they have felt in the past when they have lost and the winners have rubbed it in their faces. They know what a lack of character it shows. I know it might seem like such a cliche, but the truth is most sports figures know how lucky they are to be where they are. To win the big game they know that no matter how great one throw or one defensive move was, it wasn’t JUST that moment that really won the game.
What luck have you had in life? Have you been grateful, understanding the plethora of people who made it happen beyond your own control, or are you filled with your own self importance, the self-made man or woman who did it on their own! I don’t mean to diss the self-made person, but understanding how good fortune really works should always leave a person with some humility.
“One is never more on trial than in the moment of excessive good fortune.” – Quote by Lew Wallace, 1827-1905, Union General, American Civil War and Author of ‘Ben Hur’
Thanks to Donna G. and Jacqueline U. for suggesting ‘Luck’ as a new topic. Not sure how much of a series it will be, but it’s a series of one at least.
It’s pretty simple really, if you want to be lucky in life, put yourself out there to be lucky. With the lottery yes, you can just buy the ticket and go home. If you are the lucky one, even if you are ensconced in your solitary world, it will happen. But in most other ‘luck’ phenomenon you have to be out and engaged with the world for that luck to find you.
So, whether you are searching for a metaphorical fish or a real one , you won’t have the ‘luck’ you want unless you are out there casting your line.
“Luck affects everything: let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” – Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso), 43 BCE – 19 BCE, Roman poet
Nothing is more exciting than feeling like you are going forward with someone you love. At the same time it’s important that you always remember that not all forward movement is in unison, some is by one person, some by the other. The important thing is to share that back with your partner…AND for you, as the partner, to care about what they care about.
If you sing in a choir and your wife doesn’t, share with her about that, let her know what it is like for you, so she can feel a part of your life. If you like to read, then share some of the stories, some of the ideas, feelings you have about what it is you read with your partner.
The best love is when two people know they are separate individuals but love leaning on and helping each other to achieve both the individual and the shared goals in life. That is really so fulfilling.
“Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 1900-1944, French author Author of ‘The Little Prince’
Did you know he died while flying a reconnaissance mission over France during WWII?
I am not drawing this today because I feel dark or burdened in my heart. Actually the opposite is true. I am feeling some pretty good things lately about my family, my friends and myself.
I drew this today because around Valentine’s Day we always start to define who we love and why. We make decisions about who to send a card to, who to write a note to, who to ask out if you are single, how much to spend, how big a deal to make of it all with your spouse perhaps.
Kids have to decide who to give little valentine cards to at school. It’s all about figuring out who to show some love to at some level.
But this quote is deeper than that, it’s not about the cute love, it’s about the deep love. The love that allows you to criticize or question or even rail against the Gods if you have to.
I had a conversation a few years back that I still remember well. A friend mentioned that talking to this one person was hard because they weren’t sure they were going to get a trustworthy response. They needed to hear questions, doubts, ideas, criticism about what they were planning to do, but they thought this one person was simply going to agree with them, no matter what they said their course of action was going to be. They knew the heart was in the right place, but they wanted to hear more than just the pretty heart talk, they wanted the truth heart talk as that person saw it.
I appreciate those who combine both the sweet & kind with the real & true when they show me love. Sometimes more one than the other, sometimes both, sometimes only one. But I can trust that they are watching out for me and that ability to be both for me is the proof.
The thing to remember about both of these actions, corking and uncorking, is they are deliberate. You get to choose to let your imagination out or keep it in, you choose whether to think sensibly or not. It may feel like it is something that just happens, and of course there is an element of that, but overall you choose your path in love. And that path starts with you uncorking your imagination.
If you have trouble figuring out what your imagination is, or how to tap into it, perhaps you can use this analogy: The imagination is a road you travel. There are stop signs along the road. Each stop sign is you or some other voice, telling you you can’t do something, can’t think something, someone won’t like you or your idea, you will be laughed at, you will fail, you will be hurt, you will look stupid, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have the skills, and on and on and on.
So, the key is not to worry so much about whether you have an imagination, but to methodically come to each stop sign…and run over it!
“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.” – Helen Rowland, 1876-1950, American author of ‘Reflections of a Bachelor Girl’ – 1909 and ‘A Guide to Men’ – 1922
