by Marty Coleman | Sep 3, 2013 | Alphabet of Word Origins - 2013 |
B is for Beauty
From awe-inspiring cathedrals of redwoods to baggage-laden scars of human life, no single thing has driven me in more ways than the idea of beauty.
Greek
In Classical Greece (500-323 BC) the word for beauty was Kallos. Later, when Koine Greek (during the Hellenistic period) was spoken, the word was Hōraios, deriving from hōra, meaning hour. The idea of beauty was intertwined with the idea of being at the right moment, the right hour for your particular beauty. Being what you were not, a young man trying to look older, or a older woman trying to look younger, was not beautiful because they were denying their ‘hour’.
That is a lesson about beauty that we still hold on to today. Someone who tries to hard to be young again, with bad plastic surgery or skirts too short, is not usually seen as beautiful. Instead they are seen as perhaps a bit desperate to regain their ‘hour’.
Latin
Bellus was the word in Ancient Rome. Obviously, it’s where the romance languages got ‘Bella’ and other similar words meaning beautiful. In ancient Rome it referred to human beauty, mostly with children and women. As a matter of fact it could be seen as derogatory to men, labeling them effeminate by use of that term.
Words like ‘Bellisima’ (very beautiful) , names like ‘Belle’, and descriptions such as ‘Bella Donna’ (Beautiful lady) all attest to the roots of ‘beauty’ and ‘belle’ being the same.
By the way, Bella Donna also is the name of a poisonous plant, the Deadly Nightshade. So, why is it also ‘beautiful lady’? Because women would put drops distilled from the juice of the plant in their eyes to help dilate them, making them more beautiful according to the style of the era. Also poisoning them to some degree. But then as now, people will suffer to be beautiful, won’t they.
English
Here is how Latin’s Bellus became English’s Beauty; Bellus became Bellitat (Vulgar Latin) became Beltet (Old French) became Bealte (Middle English) became Beaute (Old French replacing Middle English) became Beauty.
It now is used to describe for more than just the appearance of a woman. Most anything and everything can be described as beautiful now. But, at least for me, it still retains a certain element from it’s original definition. The word ‘fine’ kept popping up in the old definitions, and I think that is still true. A person, place or thing that I describe as beautiful will have an element of ‘fine’, ‘exquisite’, ‘elegant’, ‘exalted’, class’ within it’s look. If it doesn’t have some element of those things then I am much more likely to use the words pretty, cute, gorgeous, instead of beauty or beautiful. And of course a person, place or thing can be all those things, including beautiful, at differing times.
Who and what defines beauty for you?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 29, 2013 | Marty Coleman, Plan On It! - 2013 |
This will be spot on for some people, and not for others. I planned it that way.
Sheesh, another drawing of naked people, what’s up with you Marty!? Well, I like naked people. Some of my best friends are naked at least once a day. But beyond that, nakedness is a visual metaphor of our stripped down, exposed self and the cathartic transformation that occurs when we allow it to happen.
Megan LaBonte
Megan
That may be something that happens physically, like it did to Megan, a Photographer friend of mine in Massachusetts, who recently decided to go without makeup now for a number of months. She was petrified by the idea but she did it. She stripped herself clean of the mask and went out into the world not knowing what to expect.
This is what she wrote upon posting this photograph:
Before and after. Realized yesterday I have now been through my first whole season with out make up. What a difference it has made not only in the health of my skin but in my happiness as well. I love waking up each morning and facing the world just as I am, never realized how much I was hiding until I took this mask off. I now will wear it every once in a while to go out but other than that I don’t miss it at all and in fact for such a seemingly little thing it really has made a big impact on my life. I feel free from it and look forward to the next three seasons with an all natural face.
There are a lot of things Megan can’t change about herself. Genetically she is pretty much set and short of plastic surgery she isn’t going to change her natural face much. In other words, she has her spots. But she still could do a lot. In the simple act of not wearing makeup she took away some color, and added texture. She took away strong line and exchanged it for more subtle transformations of tone. In other words, she changed the color of her spots.
Reading her statement, it’s about much more than a physical transformation. It’s about a psychological and emotional transformation. She says she is happier. Happiness is not physical, right? It’s about attitude and emotion. She also said she realized she was hiding much. Was she hiding some hideous deformation on her face with the makeup? No, she was hiding something psychologically deeper. While the transformation was physical on the surface, that mask of makeup represented something much deeper and it was facing those deeper issues that was transformative far more than just going without foundation for a day.
Deeper Planning
Just to clarify, the napkin scene above is not related to Megan. She is just an example from among my friends about a physical transformation and she had a recent illustration I thought captured it well.
The Napkin shows a pretty horrendous family scene. It’s fraught with sexual tension, distress and possible abuse. It’s not hard to make the assumption that the family has highly dysfunctional relationships throughout. Who knows what terrible things have happened to make everyone run away in pain. We know all the children are running out into the world with spots. Spots that came from that home, that set of parents. Spots that hurt, spots that scar, spots that fester.
So, how do we go about transforming in these situations? With courage and a deliberate decision to do it.
For example, I have a family spot called alcoholism. The only way I found to deal with it in my own life was to stop drinking. I turned the scotch colored spot to water colored spot (whatever color that is.) I had to choose to change the color of that spot long ago or lose what mattered to me. The spot is still there, but it is pale now compared to the color I initially inherited.
What about you? Perhaps your spot includes a gravy colored spot called eating. Well, you aren’t going to stop eating. But you can transform the color of that spot to green for more vegetables and less gravy. Perhaps your spot is the green spot of envy. What color could that spot be turned into?
What about other spots you would like to transform? Whatever spots you choose, they won’t fade or change colors on their own You have to decide you want to change them, and yourself. You can do it.
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Drawing, quote, and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 28, 2013 | Eleanor Roosevelt, Plan On It! - 2013 |
I planned today to be about wishing.
Wishing
I wish I had a dollar for every time I wished something would happen. Is that wish a plan? No, it’s a wish. A plan would be setting up automatic transfer from some ‘wish’ account to my own wish account. It would be directly linked to my brain thoughts, would know when I wish something and pay me my dollar. That is a plan.
Planning
What is the difference between wishing and planning? Not much. Planning is just sort of organized wishing. You wish to paint a painting for your mother’s birthday. If you organize that into what to buy or find to paint with, where you are going to paint. and when you will make time to paint, then you have organized the wish, simple as that. It’s still a wish, but you have put legs to it.
Dream, Image and Deed
Long ago I did a series of art pieces called ‘Dream, Image and Deed’. It sort of clarified for me what it took to make something happen. I had to dream (or wish), I had to imagine it clearly by making an image of it (or writing it down, same idea) and then I had to do the deed. The drawing above illustrates that idea.
The key to turning a wish into a plan is to not get caught up in the big picture. You may wish for an around the world trip, but you aren’t actually putting that in action. All you are really doing is the first step, which might be to figure out the stops you would like to make. That is a wish and it’s a plan. You keep doing the next little step, until you can’t do any more steps. If it ends before your trip, then you adjust the dream to be only half way around the world and back, or whatever it takes for you to continue to take steps.
I wish you good plans!
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 27, 2013 | American Proverbs, Plan On It! - 2013 |
I planned this last night all by myself.
Being Played
The saying when you are being taken advantage of without you really knowing it is, ‘You’re being played.’ It means someone is manipulating you to achieve an end of their own. They make it seem like it is in your best interest, maybe even that it was your idea. But unbeknownst to you, the real goal doesn’t take you into consideration. You will be left behind when you are no longer needed. You might even be damaged or hurt. That’s being played.
Being Planned
If you don’t know what you want in life, if you don’t make some effort to go in that direction, you are going to find yourself being a chess piece in someone else’s plan for their own life.
An example: The daughter who is ‘forced’ by her parents to get a law degree when what she sort of liked was art. But she didn’t know herself very well, didn’t think her ideas of what she wanted to do were valid or useful (because her parents said so) and so she bowed to the pressure and got her law degree. She grew old resenting her brother for having the courage to withstand the parental pressure and become a salesman instead of the doctor they wanted him to be. She blamed her parents, her school, America, capitalism, and her gender. But she never realized the real reason was she didn’t know herself, didn’t trust herself enough to say, ‘this is who I am and this is what I want to be.’ She was afraid, and maybe lazy. She was afraid of not living luxuriously. She was worried about putting out so much effort to achieve her dream. She was tired just thinking about it. And so she ended up living the life her parents wanted her to live, for their reasons, not hers. She was a bitter and angry woman later in life, never knowing it was her decisions that made her like that, no one else.
Naked to the World
Why are the people in this drawing naked? Because others can see through us. They can see when we are being who we want to be, who we plan to be. And they can see us when we are hollow shells, waiting to be filled by someone else’s idea of a life. I would rather be courageous and say ‘This is my plan.” and be seen in all my planned glory than to be a coward and live someone else’s ideas and life and STILL be seen naked to the world. Because, if I am seen naked as me, then the criticisms and compliments are things I can actually listen to. I can evaluate them knowing they are at least based on something real.
If I am a lie, then criticisms and compliments aren’t ever about me. I am not connected to them, I can’t be helped or encouraged by them. It’s as if they are talking to or about someone else. And they are.
What is your plan for your life?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is an American Proverb
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SXSW
Don’t forget, I am in need of votes at the 2014 SXSW PanelPicker site. I have a workshop proposal called ‘The Compelling Image in the Age of Social Media’ that I would love to present in Austin next March. Part of the decision making process (30%) is having SXSW members vote for the proposals they would like to attend. You do have to register, but it’s painless and if you are involved in Social Media and interactive online world in any capacity the conference would be worth finding more about.
Please vote here —–> SXSW PanelPicker and then amplify the proposal across your social media world if you are able!
Thank you very much, M
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 26, 2013 | Dallas, Travel Napkins |
Drawing at Church
I went to visit my daughter Caitlin this weekend. She lives in Dallas and attends Watermark Church. I went to the early service with her then decided to hang out out in the big spacious lounge/lobby area for about 2 hours (instead of trying to find a coffee shop nearby) while she helped lead a 7th grade girls group. I spent my time drawing.
The Deep Conversation
The Conversation
The first drawing was in my sketchbook. I was in the outdoor patio area and noticed three people having a pretty intense conversation. It seemed like they might be there a while so I thought I might be able to get a good drawing out of it.
The woman on the right was the object of the conversation. It was obvious the other two were discussing some issues with her. What about, I didn’t know. While I drew, her 2 young children, one a barely walking toddler and the other perhaps a 3 year old, were getting curious about me and my drawing. The baby came over and offered me a cheese cracker. I took it and thanked her. She took an interest in my back pack so I showed her the snap clasp that held the flap closed. She watched with delight as I snapped it open and closed.
Soon the 3 year old came over and wanted to try his hand at the clasp. He handed me a sponge dinosaur so he would be hands free. He quickly took the dinosaur back, ripped his head off, then gave it back to me. The young boy snapped the clasp again and again while the little girl looked on, either at me, the clasp or her crackers.
The trio in conversation looked over to be sure the kids were ok, and I reassured them they weren’t bothering me. Meanwhile another child, perhaps 6 years old, started hovering. I could tell what she was doing so I turned and told her it was ok for her to watch me draw. She liked that and stood a respectful distance and watched. After I finished the line drawing I showed it to the little hovering girl and she quietly said she thought it was good. I appreciated that.
By that time the conversation was winding down. The woman on the right came over to retrieve her toddler and I showed her the drawing. She liked it quite a bit and I gave her my card so she could email me and get a copy of it.
I hope whatever life events she is going through, that she got help and support from the other two. I got the feeling she was dealing with whatever it is pretty well. I wish her the very best.
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Jamie and Jill
I had another hour to wait at that point so I went inside to get out of the heat, and perhaps find some other people to draw. There are TV screens in the big lounge area showing the service and a number of people were sitting and watching. I knew that probably gave me at least 45 minutes of drawing time so I settled in and started drawing 2 woman sitting at a tall table.
This time I decided to use a napkin I had with my coffee.
The church has a very wide array of styles among those in attendance. T-shirts, jeans, shorts, sandals, and tank tops were in abundance. These two women were were dressed classier than most, combining high heels and casual tops together really well. I was lucky in that they sat still for almost the entire time, with only the changing of which leg crossed which messing me up a bit.
I showed the drawing when I was done and the sermon was over. They were a bit wary of me, just some random guy drawing them. But I gave them my card anyway, just in case they want to see the final drawing. They expressed enthusiasm once they saw the card and said they were looking forward to sharing it among their friends. They are Jamie and Jill.
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The Lobby
Then church let out, the middle school kids got out, the elementary school kids were picked up and it was a zoo.
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I love drawing people and getting to know them as I do. There is something about the slow, methodical visual investigation of line, color, shading, activity, expression, that allows me access to who they are in a way photography doesn’t. I love photography, but I like drawing as well.
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Drawings and photograph by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 23, 2013 | Gloria Steinem, Plan On It! - 2013 |
I planned this post for yesterday, which it is – if you read this tomorrow.
Dreaming your Plans
Are you allowing yourself a dream? I don’t mean the ‘I ate a cookie and it turned into a pink tutu in my stomach and flew out my butt and became a butterfly and talked to me about the African Lowland Gorilla needing cookies more than I do’ dream. I don’t mean that kind.
I mean the real life dreams. Do you allow yourself those dreams? Or do you think you don’t deserve one? Maybe you had your dream shot down and don’t want to dream again? Maybe you have been told so many times dreaming is for losers, just go and do your work and shut up about stupid dreams. Or maybe you fill your mind with other people’s dreams instead of your own. Remember, without a dream, very likely you won’t ever have a plan for anything. It all starts with a dream, so allow it.
Planning your Dreams
Are you planning your dreams? I don’t mean the ‘I dreamt I had a sock around my wrist and there was a baby alligator coming out of it with a bobblehead doll of my 3rd grade teacher in it’s teeth who was singing an oratorio in a Donald Duck voice while wearing a mankini’. I don’t mean that kind.
I mean the real life dreams. Are you planning those?
- Do you dream of downsizing and having less ‘stuff’? Are you planning on how you will actually get rid of that stuff?
- Do you dream of being a size 8 again? Are you planning on how to make that dream happen?
- Do you dream of making new friends who are more like you than the stuffy people you know at work or church or the country club? Have you joined that nudist rock climbing group yet? Have you auditioned for the community theatre yet? Have you taken that bow hunting class yet?
- Do you dream of contributing to your home town somehow? Have you looked into that school mentoring program you heard about last year? Have you called the hospice society who helped out your uncle in his last days?
What are your dreams for becoming who you want to be? What is your plan to make that happen? Do you think you will become it without a plan, without a dream? You won’t you know.
If you can dream it, you can plan it. If you can plan it, you can make it happen.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Gloria Steinem
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 21, 2013 | Darien - 2013 |
An Early Morning Run
Reunions are all about visiting the past while in the present. One of my most anticipated moments of the weekend was not about seeing my old friends. It was about seeing my old town. Yes, I was going to be driving around and seeing it. But what really excited me was to do a long run around it. I am training for a marathon and knew I would need at least a 10 mile run that weekend. So why not spend some time in advance planning out a route that would take me by some of the spots I wanted to see, even some spots I had never seen before. I planned it to start from my hotel using the Dailymile.com site where I record my runs. If I planned it right I would go by some spots I had never seen and some familiar places and get back to the hotel in time to greet my BFF from back in the day, who was coming down from Rhode Island on Sunday morning for the last day of the reunion.
At 7:15 I was out the door and ready to run. Beautiful morning air, the sun just up over the trees and I was happy.
One of the best things about running in a new place is not what you expect to see, but the joy in seeing the unexpected. My first ‘I have to stop and take a picture’ moment was a flock of wild turkeys meandering around a riding ring. I wanted to sneak up further on them to get a better shot but time and the road called me on.
I turned the corner from the turkeys and immediately found this 1850s tombstone in an even older graveyard. One thing that sets New England apart from much of the more westerly parts of the US is how OLD it is. Yes, we have graves this old in Oklahoma and California, but we don’t have little neighborhood cemeteries that are about 3 house lots wide (if that) being such an integral part of the present as you find here.
And then there is this scene. Can you ask for a more picturesque example of a Connecticut waterway? This is Five Mile River and somewhere along it (I don’t remember where) we had our boat docked for a number of summers. I ran along this little lane, stopping beside two local folk who were walking their dog (and also taking pictures). We talked for a few moments as we took some shots, me telling them of my fond memories for the area and being at the reunion. Then they waved me adieu and off I went.
But not before stopping quickly to take a shot of one of the beautiful homes looking out on the scene I showed you above.
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Julie
When I stopped to take the shots above I noticed a woman running up upon me. I started running as she passed and we struck up a conversation. If you know me, there is nothing I love more than meeting new people in unexpected ways and connecting to them. I love meeting people in airports, resorts, restaurants, stores, and on the road. It doesn’t matter where. The odder the place and circumstances, the better.
And so it was with this woman, who I found out was named Julie. As we ran side by side we told each other our running history. She had run in the Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco a few years back with her sister. I asked her if she was in training for another race. She chuckled and said her reason for running now did not have such an exalted goal attached to it, “I am a stay-at-home mom of one & a half year old twins. I run to escape!” I understand what she meant.
We ended up running together for 4 miles. She knew the area and so I basically forgot my map route and just let her lead the way as we talked. I told her why I was in Darien for the weekend and she told me she had also gone to the High School, having graduated in 1999. That meant she was just a year older than my oldest daughter, Rebekah, whom I was going to be visiting a few days hence. Rebekah had just given birth to my first grandchild so Julie and her were in almost the exact same place in life. Knowing she had gone to DHS in the late 90s I asked her if my friend, Bruce Hall (see part 1) had been her principal at the time. He had been and she was happy to hear he was doing well. She didn’t know his mother Helene, but she enjoyed hearing me tell her about what a great woman she is.
I, of course, wanted to take her picture as a memento of our serendipitous run together. She wasn’t too hot on the idea due to her being in her ‘I just woke up and ran out the door’ look. But I loved that look, she was energized and alive and beautiful in the best sort of way, and she granted me permission to take the pic.
Funny coda to my Julie story. A few days after I returned I got an email from Bruce saying he had taken his dogs for a walk and had run into an old student of his out for a walk with her twins. She greeted him and told him about having a run with some guy who happened to know him. A small world indeed.
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Church and Girls
My parents didn’t go to church but my best friend Jim’s family did. I started going to the local Congregational Church with them in about 1969 or so. I wasn’t religious (I’m still not) but I love ideas and conversation and church is always a good place for both. Of course at my age then (about 14-15) I loved girls more than ideas or conversation. And Jim and I discovered two girls at the church that we liked a LOT!
Meridith became Jim’s girlfriend and Frances became mine. They were from the other Jr. High, Mather, and thus were ‘exotic’. We were cool to have girlfriends from the other school. We also incurred the wrath of some of the boys from that school, but we didn’t care. Anyway, the boys who hated us then became great friends in High School.
And Meridith and Frances? Well, Jim and Meridith dated quite a while, well into High School. Frances and I didn’t last all that long as BF/GF but we remained great friends throughout High School and beyond. They both turned out to be wonderful woman whom Jim and I are still connected to in the best of ways, as dear, dear friends.
Meridith, now and then
Meridith didn’t make the reunion, but I visited her in Seattle in 2011 and got this shot of her.
Frances, now and then
Frances was at the reunion and I got this shot of her at the Sunday picnic
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Home
The last stop on my running tour was my old home. I had already driven by it but I took a bit of time to really look at it this time. They had changed some things, it has an odd stucco siding on it, something that looks great on a Spanish or California style house, but looks very odd on a simple New England style box.
As much as the house was interesting to see, bringing back memories of sneaking out late at night (or as Frances told me at the reunion, the time Meridith and her snuck out and drove over in their pajamas to hang out with us), it really was the entire street that brought back the sweetest memories. Memories of walking our beautiful Samoyed dog named Vodka (we had alcohol troubles in our family, can you tell?) down the street and back. Memories of the woman who lived behind us and the cat she ran over that I tried to save as it bit my finger in a jaw death grip before it passed away.
Memories of various cars in the driveway, including a Volkswagon Campmobile with a fold down bed. Parents, it might not be the wisest idea to give your teenage son access to such a car. I’m just sayin’…
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Jim
I made my way back to the hotel, figuring I would be back right about the time Jim arrived from Rhode Island. And sure enough, as I ran up to the hotel entrance, Jim was walking up at the same time. He had even passed me on the main drag and figured it was me finishing my run.
Jim and I met when his mother forced him out of his house one afternoon, telling him, ‘Go meet the new kid down the street and don’t come back expecting dinner until you do.’ He walked down Shady Acres Lane and did. We were best of friends from then on. It was a great relationship. His family and home were a refuge for me during some trying family times. His parents were accepting and loving and seemed happy to have me around, even as I tried their patience with some of the mishaps I brought with me.
I am not sure what my house and family offered him, but I did have an older sister who, along with her bevy of best friends, were the hottest girls of the class 2 years before us. For a teenage boy, that’s a pretty good reason to hang around a friend’s house.
We went on spring break road trips together to Florida (during high school no less), spent summer vacations together now and then in Montauk, Long Island and Fire Island off of Long Island. We went on winter skiing adventures to Vermont, me learning nothing about proper skiing form and hitting trees left and right, him learning to avoid the trees with a bit more technique and by watching me. We, along with his older brother Michael, learned to fly airplanes together, yes real airplanes. We were members of the Sky Life Flying Club starting at age 13 and learned to fly little Cessna 150s and 172s. We took Transcendental Meditation together, smoked pot together, learned to drink together. We learned about girls together.
In 1979 we got married within 2 weeks of each other, both attending each other’s wedding. Within short order we had 3 kids each, not too far apart. I am the first to have a grandbaby but I suspect he will have one relatively soon and catch up with me.
It’s great to have an awesome friend like Jim throughout the years.
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You can read and see more of my trip to the East Coast here:
The Napkin Grandbaby
Rebekah and Vivian go to the Laboratory
The Napkin Dad meets the Napkin Mom
The Past and the Present – Reunion, Part 1
The Past and the Present – A Morning Run
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And finally…
I am trying to land a speaking gig at the 2014 SXSW Interactive Conference. I am in their ‘PanelPicker’ process. Meaning I proposed a photography workshop and now people vote on it. There are THOUSANDS of proposals so I need to rally my Napkin Kin to vote for me. So, would you be able to vote for my photography proposal for SXSW? Here is the link.
http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote/24603
You do have to register so that sucks but it’s painless at least. If you aren’t comfortable registering, perhaps you can amplify the link on your social media channels. That would be very cool, either way. THANK YOU!
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 19, 2013 | H. G. Bohn, Plan On It! - 2013 |
The Fitness Challenge
I am starting a 12 week fitness challenge with my wife and daughter today. Caitlin actually started it last week but I couldn’t get my act together that soon after my trip back east so I am starting a week after her.
Time vs Excuses
Having delayed it a week it was easy to start to think of reasons not to do it this week either. I have this run schedule. I have this weekend trip. I have this lack of groceries. I have this confusion about the program. Maybe I need more time.
But I don’t need more time, I need less excuses. I needed to measure myself. I needed to have pictures taken. I had to figure my goals. I had to read up on nutrition. I had to figure out what I have, and what I need, to make it happen. I needed to join the gym. All things that are not part of my daily napkin dad life and sort of a hassle.
But doing these things is a commitment. I am telling myself that I am implementing a plan by taking these steps. Without these concrete steps, it’s just a ‘one day’ plan.
What is your plan?
- Does it have a date attached to it? If not, it’s a ‘one day’ plan.
- Does it have real concrete steps to take? If not, it’s a ‘one day’ plan.
- Are you accountable to anyone? Have you told anyone of your goal? If not, it’s a ‘one day’ plan.
And a ‘one day’ plan is no plan at all.
Let’s hear one step in your plan. What is it?
Speaking of a PLAN
WHO WANTS TO VOTE FOR ME? I am wanting to share some cool stuff with the peeps at SXSW next March. I have proposed a 2 1/2 hour workshop on photography, an extended version of the presentation I gave at Social Media Tulsa earlier this year. If you liked that presentation, or if you just want to see me go to Austin and do something cool, vote for this proposal, ok? THANKS!
http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/vote/24603
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by H. G. Bohn, 1796-1884, British Publisher
The quote was found in a book (The Book of Positive Quotations’) given to me by one of the runners I coach. She came up to me with the book as a gift and said, “I found you online. I didn’t realize you were so infamous!” I thought that was the coolest thing. I like being infamous almost as much as being famous. The fact that I am actually neither is immaterial in my mind! hahaha
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 15, 2013 | Darien - 2013, Family History |
The Present Moment
Friday night, Aug 2nd, 2013, Linda and I went to the opening of ‘Oh, Tulsa!’ Biennial, a group exhibition featuring work that both celebrates and critiques the city of Tulsa. I had 2 pieces included in it. The first is a photo of me in front of my collage of Tulsa’s KJRH Channel 2 new reporter and anchor, Marla Carter. The second is of Michelle Linn from Fox23, also in Tulsa. These are a part of an ongoing series I have been doing since 2009 called ‘IN Public/Private’ of reporters and anchors I meet in my media travels.
The Tulsa Evening Anchor – Visual Poem #8
Marla and Michelle both were extraordinarily willing to follow my vision for the shoots. They came with NO makeup on (not the usual situation for a TV personality) and let me photograph them that way. They then both put on their makeup as if there were getting ready for the TV lights. Michelle actually came out of the Philbrook Museum bathroom with half her face made up and half still natural just because she thought it looked cool. My kind of model! We did a whole series of shots like that that were great fun.
The Tulsa Morning Anchor – Visual Poem #6
I ended up submitting these two collages for the show since they focused on the personality of Tulsa via those who report about Tulsa to the rest of us.
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The Red Eye to the Past
I wanted to attend the opening but my High School reunion was starting that same night, 1,500 miles away in Darien, Connecticut. I spent my teenage years there, after being raised on the beaches of Southern California. It was a culture shock to say the least, but I adjusted (and they adjusted to me) and I had a fantastic Jr. High and High School experience in that town.
I choose to go to the first hour of the exhibition opening, catch a late flight to Denver then take the red eye flight to NYC, rent a car, get some shut eye, then be there for the majority of the weekend festivities. It was going to mean a likely all nighter, but you only live once so why not.
So, with about 3 (maybe) hours sleep, I did this first thing in the morning. I got a couple hits, scored a couple runs, ran down and slid all over the outfield trying to catch fly balls. The softball game was a fun way to break the ice and play instead of having to immediately go into ‘This is who I am now, who are you?’ mode in conversations.
I had on my Texas Rangers hat. Caitlin, my Texas girl, would be proud that I was representing!
Actually that was after a tour of the new high school. It was a new school, not resembling anything close to our old school, except that it was on the same land, so while it was fun to walk around and shoot the breeze with people, it didn’t really bring back memories as it would have if it was the old school. Still, it was nice seeing our town was continuing to grow and move forward.
The Younger Woman
After the game I knew I needed to get in a nap before the big soiree later that night. But before I did I had a few people I needed to see. First I stopped by the house of a dear friend from High School, Julie Kudenholdt. She was a few years behind me. We dated briefly my senior year but alas, as usual, we lost touch over the decades. But Facebook brought a lot of old friends back together, and she was one of them.
It turns out her beautiful home backs up onto the woods behind our first house in Darien. You can even see our house through the woods during the winter. Julie and her husband Steve were incredibly gracious when I visited, especially considering they had a pool party happening for their daughter, Julie’s mother was just leaving after celebrating her birthday, and Julie’s sister was visiting as well. But no matter; they welcomed me, fed me and we had a great time talking about then and now. Julie is reviving a dormant acting career, being featured in a number of indie projects in NYC. It was great to meet her family and see how she had still retained that beautiful sense of joy, wonder and curiosity about others that I had admired 40 years earlier.
One of the best aspects of the visit was not how the older adults welcomed me, but how the plethora of 21 year olds in bathing suits did. Their daughters and friends were confident, gracious, well-mannered and polished. They spoke well and looked me in the eye. It was a nice reminder of one of the best aspects of my upbringing in that town. We learned how to be confident and act like adults among adults. I appreciate it a great deal now that I look back on it years later.
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The Artist
I then went to visit one of our family’s dearest friends. We moved to Darien in the first place because this family lived here. My mother had met Helene Hall in a grocery store in Hagarstown, Maryland back in the 1950s. They had become friends due to their humor and sass, which they both had in abundance. Helene was an artist and a former show girl in NYC. My mother was a debutante from a wealthy family who nevertheless made merciless fun of the pretentions of that world. But she was refined in her appreciation of art and connected to Helene from then on.
When our family was going to make the move to the east coast, my mother naturally wanted to live near Helene, who had moved to Darien with her husband Floyd and son Bruce, and so we did as well.
Helene was instrumental in my art education and inclination. Starting at age 13 she was always encouraging me in practical ways to create and understand art. One of her most enduring lessons came when she took me into New York City to the Museum of Modern Art. We were there to see a Picasso sculpture exhibition. But they were made out of cardboard, and paper, and junk. They were not made out of what sculpture was suppose to be made out of. And, as one often hears from people who don’t understand art, I said to her, “I could do that!” while looking at one of these supposedly easy to create pieces. She stopped me right then and said, “Ok, then do it. I challenge you to get whatever material you want, and make a sculpture. Then explain to me why you made it and what it’s all about.” I accepted the challenge, went home, bought some material, mostly thick gauge metal wire and proceeded to start making a sculpture. I would show her.
But I didn’t show her. She showed me. I never did finish the piece. It hung around in our basement work bench until I finally threw it away, just a bunch of junk taking up space. It was that practical lesson that taught me in real life what she had told me at the museum in response to my ignorant dismissal of Picasso’s work. She said, “What matters isn’t IF you can make it. What matters is if you DO make it.” And I realized then that art derives from an idea, from a passion, from an understanding of something and from a desire to understand something even deeper. it isn’t primarily about material or technique. It’s primarily driven by the idea. I have never forgotten that and I always try to keep the idea, no matter who fractured it is, close to the essence of my images.
Helene Hall and her son, Bruce Hall
Helene Hall and Me
Here is Helene today, 96 years old, nearing the end but still filled with life and love. I made sure I told her how important she had been to my art life. Her son, Bruce, laughed when I did and said, “You know what’s funny? My best friend says almost the exact same thing to Helene each and every time he comes to visit.” Helene knew how to inspire and push art out into the world in her own work and in her friendships with others. I am trying to emulate that same spirit in my life and art as well.
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You can read and see more of my trip to the East Coast here:
The Napkin Grandbaby
Rebekah and Vivian go to the Laboratory
The Napkin Dad meets the Napkin Mom
The Past and the Present – Reunion, Part 1
The Past and the Present – A Morning Run
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by Marty Coleman | Aug 12, 2013 | Darien - 2013, Family History |
We went on an outing to debut Vivian to Rebekah’s colleagues. She is a Ph.D. candidate in neuroscience at George Mason University so we were visiting her lab.
First we went out for lunch (a big deal with a 3 week old) and all went fine as she slept through the meal in the cozy little wrap.
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This is Vivian and Beka being inspired by ancient Greeks and Romans.
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This is what Rebekah does. She studies the brain. Her poster on the right is some simplistic study titled, ‘Regional differences in intrinsic excitability and dendritic morphology of medium spiny neurons during stages of habit learning’. Such a slacker.
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Here is the lab’s ‘stimulation station’. A LOT of coffee, tea and snacks propel the world of neuroscience!
Stimulation Station
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Before getting down to business Beka gets a baby gift from her colleague, Sarah. Beka was at the lab in part to hand off some experiments and projects to Sarah, who is in the same program but with a year or so more to go. They are all VERY committed to their studies, it’s great to see my daughter be such a strong and dedicated woman in the world of science.
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And finally Beka gets down to work. With Vivian taking a nap on the desktop. I think the direct connection to the neuroscience desktop will make the neurons in her brain grow fast and furious, don’t you?
Beka and Baby Head
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You can read and see more of my trip to the East Coast here:
The Napkin Grandbaby
Rebekah and Vivian go to the Laboratory
The Napkin Dad meets the Napkin Mom
The Past and the Present – Reunion, Part 1
The Past and the Present – A Morning Run
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