by Marty Coleman | Jul 30, 2013 | Anonymous, Your ID please! - 2013 |
What We All Have Heard
It’s common to hear someone say, ‘You just need to be yourself.’ Our maybe you have heard someone say, ‘I lost my identity in my marriage.’ Perhaps someone has said to you, ‘I don’t know who I am anymore.’ The answer to all these dilemmas is often thought to be a turning inward, getting away from other influences, to ‘find yourself.’
Inward and Outward
But how is that really possible? What is actually going to happen when you turn inward? Are you going to find self-satisfaction in your spleen, liberation in your liver? No, you are actually going to think back. Think back to things you used to do, attitudes and beliefs you used to have. You are also going to think back to the desires you used to have about what you want to be in the future. Maybe you have dreamt of being fit and muscular like you were when you were 25. Maybe you dreamt of learning to play piano when you were 15 and never did and now the idea has come back. Maybe you have always wanted to be an artist since you were a little kid. Maybe you want to be the loving, kind person you were when you lived with your grandfather that year when you were 10.
People, Places and Things
In each of those cases there are people, images, ideas, places, you have within those dreams. They are the concrete things you identify with (even if subconsciously) when you think of these ideals and hopes. They are connected to something outside yourself.
Perhaps the piano is connected to hearing your older sister play beautiful Christmas songs every winter. Maybe the fitness is connected to the happiness, health and the pride you had in how your body looked and felt at age 25. Possibly the art is connected to your love of beautiful museums your mother took you to on vacations. And there is no doubt the love and kindness is connected to how greatly you admired your grandfather as he lived out his days.
Becoming You in the World
Our identity is not truly, completely from within. It is when we identify with the world around us, when we reach out into the world and say ‘I want to aspire to that’ that we can see our identity start to form. When we pursue those things and make them our own; practicing, refining, believing, sharing, that is when it becomes us. And that is when we, and others, can identify our identity.
Who do you want to be and where did that come from?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote is anonymous
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 29, 2013 | Chinese Proverbs, Your ID please! - 2013 |
I identify with the fact that today is the first in the ‘Identity’ series.
Prints are still available. $25.00
If you are tense, take a look and see if this might not be the problem.
Of course, to know this you have to admit what part of you is the part other people want you to be and what part is the part you want to be. That takes honest self-evaluation. Then of course the hard part come in. You have to admit it to the world and take action on it.
Have you been able to do this? How did you do it?
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
Quote is a Chinese Proverb
I found it online at the Facebook page of a friend, Kimberley Clayton Blaine. She is a wise woman, someone who is constantly growing and learning. She is one of those people you are glad is in the world. You can find her at her website/blog The Go-To Mom. She’s worth following.
Kimberley Clayton Blaine
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 26, 2013 | Mae West, Resistance - 2013 |
I am tempted to say this is Resistance #3
The Cat and the Cracker
Last night I had a few crackers before going to bed. Our cat, Mayru, was sitting on my lap and for some strange reason she was very insistent on wanting a cracker. This is not usual. But tonight she was crazy about it. I gave her a small piece and she actually ate it. Then she turned around on my lap and meowed plaintively, wanting another piece. I gave her another and she bit it, dropped it and jumped off my lap, walking away, never to return.
Now, I don’t think she contemplates will power and resisting temptation much. So, what happened? Well, what she does is go with her desire. She wanted the cracker, didn’t resist that desire and got the cracker. Then didn’t have the desire, no longer wanted it and walked away. The key wasn’t that she wanted it and pushed it away in spite of wanting it, it was that she just no longer wanted it.
I’m No Help at All
I sometimes am told that people are impressed with my ability to give things up. It seems I can give something up and stick with it. They might think I am good at avoiding temptation, that I have great will power, that I am disciplined. But the honest truth is that I can give it up not because I am good at resisting temptation, but because the temptation goes away. I am actually not good at resisting temptation, I am better at getting rid of temptation.
Saying I ‘get rid of temptation’ makes it sound like I actually do it. But the truth is, and one of the reasons I am not all that great at advising others in their attempts to get rid of bad habits, is they just go away. I usually don’t do anything to get rid of them beyond having the simple desire for them to go away. That’s it. Sometimes it takes years (one habit took 45 years for the temptation to go away). Sometimes it takes an instant. I don’t really know why, though I wish I did.
The Key, No Matter What
What I do know is that even when they just go away and I didn’t do much to make it happen but to wish for it, I still need to make a choice not to go looking for that lost temptation to see if it’s still hanging around out there. It’s like an ex-lover you are over but that you sometimes still pine for. If you go searching to see ‘how they are doing’ you are looking to see if the temptation is hanging around. And that temptation that is lost is suddenly found again. That is not a good thing. Let it stay lost, it can’t add up to much without you.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Mae West, 1893-1980, American Actress and Playwright.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 25, 2013 | Peter Senge, Resistance - 2013 |
I didn’t change my mind, today is still going to be Resistance #2.
What’s Behind the Fear?
I like this quote a lot. It focuses one’s attention on what we really fear when it comes to change. We fear WE are going to have to change. Think about any change you fear and see if you don’t find that, at its essence, it isn’t a fear that it will lead you to have to change.
Isn’t that why we often don’t like new styles in hair, clothing, accessories? Aren’t we afraid, when you get right down to it, that we will have to change and wear that style ourselves? That is when the judgment seems to be necessary right? As a method to keep the change at bay, away from us and the resulting change that we would have to suffer through.
What do you think of this idea?
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Peter M Senge, 1947 – not dead yet, American Organizational Development expert.
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 24, 2013 | Resistance - 2013, Susan Steinbrecher |
Do not resist the fact that it’s day #1 of a new series on Resistance.
Stealing From Susan
Last year I won a writing contest put on by Susan Steinbrecher. I won a weekend at the Gaylord Texan outside of Dallas and we went over the 4th of July weekend, 2012. It was a great time and I was able to meet Susan during the weekend, which was a great honor. She recently launched a new website dedicated to promoting her abilities as a speaker and I went to check it out. There were video samples of her speaking and this quote was the very first thing that she spoke about. I stole it from her because I liked it so much.
What Not To Resist
Susan was referring to the futility of resisting change in the business world. In particular she was talking about the technology, communication, globalization and more 21st century elements to modern business. She said people can try to resist, but that resistance won’t change anything. The future is going to come, whether you resist it or not. The future persists. Indeed, it is the most persistent element of life. Some things are bad to resist.
What To Resist
However, there are areas of life where it is good to resist. When you see racism or sexism or bigotry or corruption, it’s good to resist. When you feel yourself sliding into mediocrity, it’s good to resist. When you are tempted to blame, gossip or hate, it’s good to resist. These things also persist. But unlike the future they can actually fade, becoming lest persistent. And your resistance to them is one of the actions needed to help them fade away. Some things are good to resist.
What Do you Resist?
What is it you try to resist? Are you effective or not? Explain.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by Susan Steinbrecher, American business leadership consultant and speaker.
Susan Steinbrecher
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 23, 2013 | Alphabet of Word Origins - 2013 |
Today a friend in Australia posted this as part of a comment on Facebook, ‘Spat the Dummy’. I had no idea what that meant but I found out from my friend that is literally means for a baby to spit out their pacifier, which is called a ‘dummy’ in Australia. It’s used as a term to mean you are angry and frustrated, done with something. It got me thinking about words and so I thought I would do an alphabet of word origins.
The Purest Album
Why is The Beatles White Album the purest album ever? It’s because of what ‘Album’ originally meant. Here’s a hint, It could be titled ‘The Album Album’.
Here is the explanation from the Dictionary of Word Origins, by Jordan Almond, one of my favorite books. And yes really, that’s the author’s name.
‘A table with a white top on which were kept the names of Roman officials and accounts of public proceedings which was prominently displayed in a public place. The word comes from the Latin albus, meaning “white.” The British adopted the term during the Middle Ages and used it to signify a register or list of persons. From this, “Album” acquired it’s present meaning.’
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Drawing by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 21, 2013 | Photographic Sunday |
Dallas Museum of Art
Over the 4th of July long weekend Linda and I went to visit our daughter, Caitlin, in Dallas, Texas. We had a lot of things planned for the week, including some time I reserved for myself to go museum hopping. I was planning to drive over to Fort Worth and see the Amon Carter Museum of American Art which I had never seen before, but time constraints directed my choice to the Dallas Museum of Art which I also had never seen before and was much closer to Caitlin’s apartment.
The fact that the museum was free all summer helped in that decision, as did the special exhibition, ‘The Body Beautiful in Ancient Greece’. There had recently been an exhibition at my hometown Tulsa’s Philbrook Museum of Art on the same general topic which I loved, so I thought I would continue my education in that area by taking in this exhibition as well.
Two Structures – Museum Muse #1
The Museum as Muse
I have been doing a series for many years now called Museum Compositions. I also photograph people quite often and frequently refer to the person I am photographing as my muse. I realized while putting together the images this morning for this post that one of my most compelling muses of all is the museum. Not a specific museum, but all museums. No wonder of course since they aren’t called museums by accident. They house the muses. And to me the house it self is a muse. I am compelled to explore, discover, reach for, secretly find, the perfect composition within the walls of the museum.
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‘Two Dark Muses’ – Museum Muses #2
Finding the formal and the casual creates a perfect moment for me.
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‘Muse and Design’ – Museum Muses #3
The people within the museum are also my muse. It is the relationship of the living to the historic, the flesh to the stone, the real to the ideal, the moving to the static, that excites me.
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‘Phallus and Look’ – Museum Muses #4
And sometimes the relationship between human and object is found within the art itself.
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‘Muse and Vortex’ – Museum Muses #5
You know how a wildlife photographer will tell you he or she has to wait for a long time to get the perfect shot of that animal looking just the right way? It’s the same for me in a museum. I am looking for the location, the juxtaposition of elements in space, of content in relationship to each other. But I am also waiting for the moment the living muse passes by. The moment when they are in perfect relationship to the space and art. I love that moment. I am a hunter of that.
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‘Muse, Man and Boy’ – Museum Muses #6
Compositionally I look for the highest level of formality. I am driven to find the perfect division. In half often, sometimes in thirds. I am looking for a rigorous balance of visual weight.
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‘Muses in Red and Green’ – Museum Muses #7
The mystery of the Museum Muse is that they inspire but they are not known.
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‘Muse at Work’ – Museum Muses #8
Splitting images exactly in half, either vertically, horizontally or both, allows me to fragment and unify the image at the same time. I love the simplicity of the compositional device, and the discipline it takes to find the the composition keeps me pure in focus.
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‘Beautifully Filled Space’ – Museum Muses #9
This quote embodies the root idea behind my compositional efforts.
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‘Dream and Image’ – Museum Muses #10
Contemplation that is embodied in the composition of the image and in the people in the images attracts me.
‘Muse and Waterfall’ – Museum Muses #11
The adrenaline of having to explain myself pumps at moments like these.
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‘Muse on Muse’ – Museum Muses #12
This moment of seeing the living and created muse so blended was sublime. I felt she was taking a photo of herself.
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‘Yellow Muse’ – Museum Muses #13
He split the scene in two and at the same time brought the two sides together. I love when that visual moment occurs.
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‘Ancient Greek And Muses’ – Museum Muse #14
One of my favorite things about museums is how you can see through from one space to another. I like finding the formal composition while seeing through to new spaces.
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‘Formal Muse’ – Museum Muses #15
Sometimes for me the image can be devoid of a human and still be filled with humanity. I found the formality of this visual composition so strong I didn’t think any living thing would enhance it.
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‘Wall Piece and Muse’ – Museum Muses #16
I like when images defy gravity and sense, much like life.
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‘Sleeping Muse’ – Museum Muses #17
Storytelling with art, people and no words is a recurring phenomenon in a Museum.
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‘Male and Female Muses’ – Museum Muses #18
I loved finding the refined and the rough together. As well as the real life muses partially seen, as if in a De Chirico painting.
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Muse with Red Purse – Museum Muses #19
The anonymous woman, reserved but stylish, silhouetted against the grey, was as beautiful as the artwork. Finding them together made both more beautiful to me.
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Muses Coming and Going – Museum Muses #20
Everyone in a museum is a Muse. Everyone and everything is art.
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Here are more ‘Museum Compositions’ posts
Museum Compositions – June 2013
Museum as Muse – Dallas Museum of Art – July 2013
Bouquets in Dallas – Dallas Museum of Art – November 2014
Anonymous Eyes – Dallas Museum of Art – November 2014
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© 2021 Marty Coleman | napkindad.com
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 18, 2013 | Buddha, Making Mistakes - 2013 |
Truth: Making Mistakes #5 appears today.
The Comfort Mistake
It seems to me that the search for truth often times is a search to justify one’s comforts and prejudices. It ends at the most convenient location, in other words. That seems to me to be a mistake. If we want to be satisfied, truly satisfied, we have to pursue beyond both of those things.
Religious Truth
We have some good examples, not in the discovery of an absolute and final truth, but in the courage to continue the search. A number of religious leaders and congregations over the centuries showed great courage by walking the road of truth as far as they could. In many cases it turned out their truth wasn’t (and isn’t) accurate. It could even be seen as a mistake. But the best of them were sincere and committed to the journey.
Scientific Truth
Equally courageous were the scientists who dedicated their lives to walking that road of truth. Some were excommunicated, some were shunned, some were killed. But they knew the road they were on and were seeing it to the end. Just as in the religious journey, the scientific journey also had (and has) truths be discovered later to be inaccurate. It could even be seen as a mistake. But the best of them were also sincere and committed to the journey.
The Road of Truth
The truth is the road of truth demands effort. You can’t cruise down it in a BMW on cruise control. You can’t take a bus down it, or a train on the tracks next to it. You can’t fly over it. You have to walk it, explore it, commit to it. It’s a long journey that everyone has to take by themselves. You can stop and read, stop and sleep, stop and contemplate, but it would be a mistake to not get up again and start down the path. And the farther you go, the more you realize you need no facade, no fancy clothes, no money, no glass house. Just you naked in your search on the road of truth.
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Drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
Quote by the Buddha
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 17, 2013 | Making Mistakes - 2013 |
I deem it a success that today is ‘Making Mistakes’ #4!
The Wrong Mistake
Yogi Berra, the famous baseball player and manager has a great quote. While explaining why his team didn’t win he said, “We made too many wrong mistakes.” I turned that around to come up with my quote today. Yes, you need mistakes in life to grow and learn, but they have to be the right mistakes, not the wrong ones. How can you tell the difference? It’s not easy, but it has something to do with risk, as fuzzy as that sounds.
Over a Cliff
When I lived in San Jose, California, there was a big news story in 1983 about Dennis Barnhart, a Silicon Valley entrepreneur who worked for years and years to make his company, Eagle PC, a success. He finally did it and took the company public. As a result he was an instant multimillionaire and decided to reward himself by buying a Ferrari. He then took the Ferrari for a spin along the curvy mountain roads above the valley. He was alive and free and had made it! He then made a mistake and went over a cliff to his death. He made a wrong mistake.
Into the Wild
The book ‘Into the Wild‘ tells the story of a young man, Chris McCandless, who wants to truly live out in the wild, on the edge. No fall back, no plan B. And he does. He goes off to Alaska and proceeds to live just like that. He is successful until he misidentifies a certain plant as being ok to eat that actually wasn’t. As a result he died alone in the Alaska Wilderness, his body found 2 weeks later by some hunters passing through. He made a wrong mistake.
The Bad Divorce
I remember talking to a friend about my divorce once. I told him that my unwife and I are now at peace with each other and what happened. That we are thoughtful, kind, forgiving, supportive and helpful towards each other as often as circumstances allow. He responded that he had wished his mother had been able to do that after his parents divorced. She had not, but instead had held on tightly to every anger, every slight, every fault and every failing of her ex-husband. She had spent well over 30 years since the divorce focused again and again on her anger and hatred of him and his mistakes. She had not let go and not moved on. She made a wrong mistake.
The Wrongest Mistake
What do those three examples have in common? In all three, people died. ‘Wait a minute, no one died in the third story!’ you say? But what would you call being held and tortured as prisoner of a mistake (yours or someone else’s), in a prison of your own devising, for the rest of your natural life?
To compound a mistake by condemning yourself forever has to be the wrongest of mistakes if you ask me. So, while it is important to avoid wrong mistakes that might kill you, it is even more important to avoid the wrongest of mistakes, the mistake of condemning yourself to death while still alive. Don’t make that mistake.
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Quote, drawing and commentary by Marty Coleman
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by Marty Coleman | Jul 16, 2013 | Family History, The Granddaughter |
Introducing Vivian Isabelle Evans.
Born today to my first born, Rebekah Eleanor Coleman Evans. I am now the Napkin Granddad.
and 30 years ago….
Holding Rebekah right after she was born, 1982.
Resemblance maybe?
Rebekah Laughing, 1983
and 58 years ago….
me, one year old, 1956
And 87 years ago….
Late Great Grandmother Lee Powell Coleman in her carriage, 1926
and 95 years ago…
Still living Great Grandfather James F. ‘Skeets’ Coleman, 1918, in his mother’s arms
I couldn’t be more blessed with the circle of life I have been born into.
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